Problem Page

I was lying on my bed with just my underwear on, reading the problem page of my favourite magazine, Totally Pants: Advice for Boys.

First up was some reader apparently having trouble getting stiff at the least thing. The editor agreed that that did happen, and it was embarrassingly difficult to hide. However, as there was nothing a boy could do about it, the best thing was to just try and ignore it until went away.

Which made it sound so easy! Not very helpful. The next letter on the page ran:

My "bits" are driving me up the wall. One minute they’re getting in the way all the time, the next they’re riding up high between my legs and I can’t even stand still. I notice this last problem when I’m in the changing room getting ready for PE, and pants aren’t any help. Please tell me what to do, because sometimes I think if I have to put up with much more of this bouncing I’m going to go crazy!

At least it’s not just me, I thought to myself. That was kind of a comfort, though the answer not so much:

All boys go through this, and there’s no doubt about it, it's a pain. The riding-up happens when you’re anxious about something, which is why you get it just before PE, but at any time the feeling of those things always bouncing away in your underpants is pretty irritating...

It was no good. Reading about it was just making me a hundred times more aware of how irritating mine were!

The letter after that, however, really did speak to me. Dear Totally Pants, my girlfriend and I are both still waiting to have our first time...

He didn't need to write any more than that, because he had problems alright! I knew the kind of girls who waited, and some of them did make their boyfriends do the same. They were the only boys who managed to look even more distracted and feverish than me.

I stared to wonder whether any of the girls I liked were waiting, and if so, whether I'd be able to stand being her boyfriend. Some of them, I knew, didn't go in for nighties and wore nothing but their smell for bed. To have a girl showing herself off to me like that, and then to have to try and get to sleep in the same bed, all the while not allowed to do anything...! Girls already knew how to drive me up the wall in a whole lot of ways, but I'd seen the helpless darting look in the eyes of boys who had to put up with that, and I guessed there were worse things a girl could do than get the better of me at netball!

The thought of it was like one huge groan inside me. To be alone with her in her bedroom, already embarrassed to be seen with only my PJs on...just imagining being dressed like that in front of a girl was almost enough, in and of itself! But for her to be bare, and no doubt every bit as cool and collected as girls always seemed to be, but her shoulders bare and her thighs bare and her boobs and bum and, well, everything else, bare...!

And, not letting me do anything.

Would I beg? The last thing I'd ever want to do was beg some stuck-up show-off girl like the ones in my class, but I just knew that if I was there like that, I'd beg. I wouldn't be able to help it. In fact, I'd beg until I cried and then go on begging while I was crying.

And then, what if still she wouldn't let me?

But even if the girl was sweet, and as shy about it as you were, could you possibly expect to get a single wink of sleep all night? Lying next to bare boobs and the rest? Just thinking of it made my mind race, while also giving me a fretful tingly feeling round the underside of my boy-bouncies. I knew which girls I'd really like to take this next step with. What if things really did work out that way for us? Would I even be able to bear it?