Porn Sex Vs Real Sex

One of the questions I am frequently asked is how my partner copes with me doing porn. My answer is simple: "it’s a job." My personal sex life and my set sex life are both amazing, but for very different reasons. I'll put it this way—out of almost 1,000 scenes, I have orgasmed for real maybe four or five times. In my personal sex life, I orgasm every time, and sometimes more than once. I’m greedy like that.

Porn sex and real sex are so different that it’s hard for me to think of them as the same activity. Yes, we are having sex on set, but it’s not what people imagine. Porn stars are fucking for you—the viewer. The aim of the game is to make sure YOU get off, so our pleasure doesn’t come into it. Every position in an X-rated movie is based purely on aesthetics. You need to be able to see the insertion. The girl's body needs to be on show as best it can be, and if possible, her face too. For all these things to be achievable, it’s hard to factor in our pleasure. When I’m having sex on set, the most erotic thought going through my head is generally, "I really hope I don’t have a double chin in this position" or, "How much more of this do they actually need? We must have shot for at least an hour."

I’m a performer, and I always have been. For me, porn was all about playing the character of Samantha Bentley while being the best version of her I could be on screen. In my personal life I have sex for my partner and me; it's intimate and private and under the covers. He smells good, and I want to taste him and be as close to him as possible. There’s no performance involved—I’m just me.

When I first met my other half, I hadn’t been in a relationship for almost two years. My entire sex life had been on camera. I had pretty much forgotten the meaning of intimacy and how to give myself pleasure during sex. I knew how to look good, and how to jack a guy off until he came on my face. I also knew how to do reverse cowgirl on a soft bed in high heels. Some people are talented doctors, and I am a talented porn star.

I remember the first time I slept with my boyfriend. I was very aware of myself and the fact that I was almost definitely performing. As far as I’m aware he enjoyed it, and despite being jaded from shooting porn every day, so did I. I have favorite positions in both porn and reality.

Porn Favorite: Pile Driver

CAUTION: This is uncomfortable, sometimes painful, and incredibly pleasureless. Pile driver is essentially the girl doing a plough pose (a shoulder stand with her legs backwards over her head on the floor) while the guy squats above her. This is horrible for everyone involved. My least favorite time doing this was for Harmony Films in December. We were in an 18th century mansion with no heating while it was snowing outside. The stone floor was ice-cold, there was no running warm water in the building, and it was my fourth anal scene in three days. The director wanted pile driver—of course he did! The thing about this position is, if you get it slightly wrong, you can really hurt your neck and spine. As for the guy, whoever is lucky enough to land a director that is passionate about the pile driver needs to be able to squat vigorously for about 15 minutes while maintaining a hard-on. Pretty brutal stuff. But again, it looks so good on camera that it is ALMOST worth the pain. My scene with Omar and Lexi Lowe for Tanya Hyde’s Night Creatures is some of the most beautifully-shot pile driver work I’ve ever done.

Real Life Favorite: Spoons

Spoon is one of my absolute favorites at home, but one that I dread passionately on set. The way this is shot will, without fail, make me look stupid. It’s incredibly unflattering for my body, and I never look graceful in the porn version of spoons—with one leg up, desperately trying to organize my boobs and place my arm over my stomach, which is always creased in this position. In private this is my favorite seduction position. I lie with my back to him while watching a movie, and I gently press my butt into his crotch just enough to tease a hard-on out of him. This ultimately leads to neck biting and kissing, which is my absolute ecstasy point. In real life, I arch my back and push my butt into him while he pulls my face backwards to kiss me. I have a ridiculously flexible back, so this really works to my advantage and gives him a spectacular view.

I also love this position for late night or early morning wake-up sex. If he comes to bed late or wakes up before me (rare, but has happened), I love being woken up feeling him pressed against me from behind and his breath on my neck.

Porn Favorite: The Full Nelson

CAUTION: This is in no way comfortable, pleasurable, or easy to do, but it looks amazing if you do it right. It's also hard to show without real people, so the image above is about the half-way point of getting into the position. This is easier with a small girl and a big guy. It involves him either laying on his back or sitting on a couch with the girl on top. I prefer this position for anal; this is an even more awkward position for pussy. He grabs the girl's legs by hooking his arms around the back of the knees up to his elbow. He then pulls the legs up as though she’s wearing her knees as ear muffs and puts his hands around the back of her head. This forces her into a ball, so her eyes are looking straight down at the action. This looks epic when it’s done vigorously and very fast. I would never do this in my real sex life. It’s far too ridiculous.

Real Life Favorite: Lazy Doggy

He’s behind, but instead of being on all-fours, you're lying on your stomach. There are two ways in which I do this. First is lying with my legs together so that he kneels with one leg on either side of my butt. I’m pretty sure this feels better for him. My preference, however, is to have my legs spread with him between them. Things feel deep this way, and the feeling of your pussy rubbing against the sheets at the same time is—in a word—amazing. The only downside is that I can’t see his face, which bums me out because I love to watch his facial expressions. All in all, it’s pretty much an orgasm-guaranteed position all-round.

Porn Favorite: Cowgirl

Cowgirl. Particularly shot from below, this is a pretty epic position. There is nothing hotter than a girl that rides cowgirl properly. It is SO amazing to watch the ass bounce and get a good rhythm—especially with anal. I also love cowgirl with the girl's legs in splits—aesthetically incredible. Realistically? Pretty uncomfortable. I like cowgirl in real life, but mainly because I’m in control and because I know he loves it. However, it wouldn’t be my first stop for orgasms. I I can orgasm in seconds if I'm permitted to grind, but I always think grinding looks a bit stupid and there's no insertion visible to the camera.

Real Life Favorite: X Marks the Spot

I’m pretty sure that’s what it's called. I just spent about half an hour checking Google for Karma Sutra positions, because this little gem was stumbled upon by accident. It’s probably my favorite position at the moment. I lay on my back while he’s on his knees between my legs. I tilt my hips up, so when he fucks me he enters from a different angle and hits my G spot directly. I cannot even describe how good this is. Plus I get to see his face, which is an all-round bonus.

The Compromise: Doggy

OK. Doggy is probably the only position I like on and off camera. On camera my butt looks tight, my legs look good, and I can arch my back loads. Usually my face even looks presentable in this position. Doggy on set loses points because it has a lot of friction and can hurt after a while.

Off camera, I love doggy for the same reasons as above, but also because it feels amazing for him. If I slip a hand under I can pretty much make myself orgasm at the same time as him. It is also a great position for ass slapping and hair pulling. I like to arch my back almost full circle so I can upside-down kiss him. The only downer for me with doggy is that I absolutely cannot stomach anal in this position—it makes me feel like I’m going to vomit. Directors always want it though. So… yay me.