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Pleasing Your Partner

Keepin' It Real Ladies!

By Alyssa HornPublished 6 years ago 5 min read

There are many myths about guys and sex. Yes, ladies, this article will be discussing the intimate details of men and sex. But we can't leave the women out so there is something for us too. First I want to start with the first six main facts for what goes through the minds of men as far as sex goes. And then we will get back to the basics. I do hope you enjoy!

1. They Don’t Actually Want Sex All the Time

Both men and women think that they are supposed to want sex all time. Sounds silly, I know. It is just very hard for men to say no to guaranteed sex because it is both considered unmanly in some eyes, but most women also typically say that something is “wrong” if a man is turning them down. Personally I have been guilty of doing this very thing. I was dating someone who didn’t want to have sex certain times, but I never said anything to him. I just kept my mouth shut and wondered to myself whether or not if the problem was me.

2. Sex=Validation

We as people are always concerned with how we look and there are some people with self-esteem issues. Constantly wracked with self-doubt about whether our partner truly loves the way we look. There are men out there that have to have validation if just like women do at times. My last boyfriend always asked if he did a good job in bed. Eventually I dumped him because let’s face it… self-confidence is a big turn on, at least for me.

3. Power

Domination is a real thing that people are into. Especially when you get so wild that you forget your own name. I am not going to lie… I loved it when one of the guys I was seeing would tie me up and slightly choke me.

4. Men Get Distant But It Doesn’t Mean They Don’t Care

Men don’t like to get to be too rough or too gentle so that women don’t assume things. Because I hate to say it, but women do like to assume that either men are falling head over heels or that they hate us. Women’s minds honestly do nothing but spin massive webs of either doubt or a magical fantasy.

5. Women Possibly Know More About Sex Than Men Do

Women are typically are more sensual and know their bodies whereas men just know what goes in what hole, so to speak. And they know where to touch during foreplay. But women mostly know everything or at least they should. I feel like it is important to be well educated in the bedroom.

6. All Men Are Different

This is the biggest secret of all because once a woman has a heartbroken she typically feels as though all men are the same. There is no fail-safe formula to understanding men. Having actual sex with men is the only way to really understand them sexually.

At the end of the day, men love to take control when given the chance and when you are able to vocalize what you are into. Sex is about oral communication just as much as it is about physical communication. Your body must be able to move in sync with your partner's or things might feel a bit awkward. Understandably it can be somewhat weird talking about sex with anyone can be but being open and honest can make your sexual encounter so much better by just knowing each other's likes as well as dislikes.

Foreplay is Alive!

As far as foreplay, it is definitely an expected move in bed. But it's what you actually do with it that makes it one of the hottest moves for men and women alike. Not just beginning in the bedroom but it can also start in the initial meet. With foreplay, everything is mainly a build-up to the main event. Spending as much time as possible licking, kissing, and caressing his inner thigh, his stomach, his neck, and so forth with driving him completely nuts in a good way.

Let your fingers roam ladies! Of course, whether you do or not is going to be based on your comfort level. Men are not the only ones with magic fingers. Actually, it is said that there are several very lusty spots on a man's body. When those spots are touched and teased his pleasure will soar to new heights. You just have to find the spot...

Dirty Talk and Sex Toys!

Dirty talk is also something that can be very arousing for both men as well as women. However, it can be or feel pretty awkward. Fear not! I found that the weirder you feel about talking dirty in bed, the better it is... weird isn't it? I'm just going to slide into this next one. Always bring your own toys. If you're one of those girls that like bondage toys (no judgment because I love being tied up) and you show up with your own supply of toys, then your partner won't know what his limits are with you. That turns a lot of men on. Don't be afraid to get your freak on because you won't scare a guy away just for showing up a kinky side of yourself. Confidence will radiate from you and men love that.

Locations somewhat matter! Where is the craziest place that you have had sex? Mine was either in the basement of a tee shirt shop when my ex and I snuck down there during a shopping trip. Or it could have been in the woods on a log during a hiking trip and no we were not using blankets or sleeping bags but we didn't care because we caught up with each other. My point is that having the same old sex in the bedroom day after day can become very boring and mundane. Eventually causing you to grow tired or your partner. Spicing up your love life makes things interesting. Even if it means sex on the kitchen table or counter.

Well, there you have it, ladies! Be confident, make the first move, and don't be scared to switch it up every once in awhile. I hope this article was able to offer some helpful advice.


About the Creator

Alyssa Horn

I am a broke college student that is pretty much alone in the world. I'm working on my bachelor's in psychology and then I am going to start my Master's as well as a degree in anthropology. plus I love to write.

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