Men Are Looking for Sex, While Women are Looking for Love

Men desire sex, and women desire love. Right? Or, to take it a step further, males sell love for sex, while women barter sex for love... anything along those lines?

It's not just more difficult than that; it's also feasible that the opposite is closer to the truth.

Here are a few points to think about.

Pay Attention to The Money

Something intriguing is shown by the ways we supplement or compensate for a lover. Different tools are used by males and women. A vibrator is the most frequent instrument used by women. Men, on the other hand, are more prone to utilize pornography. Dolls are another option. (Women buy toys that stimulate, while men buy toys that simulate in the sex toy market.) Alternatively, a sex worker.

Nobody should be surprised by this, but who cares? There's no arguing that physical pleasure is important to women, as seen by the billions of dollars spent on vibrators each year.

What about guys? What do porn, toys, and sex workers all have in common? It appears that guys are looking for other human beings to share their experience with, whether actual or simulated...? Later, we'll return to this.

Orgasmic Gap

The "orgasm gap" is a term you've likely heard of. It refers to the fact that in sexual experiences, women climax less frequently than males. This has been known for decades, but new research provides a useful clarification regarding where the gap lies. It turns out that the problem is more of a man-woman dynamic than an anatomical one.

This is a topic deserving of its own post, however, it appears that women who have sex with males suffer the orgasm gap. Not so much when it comes to women who have sex with other women. They orgasm at a pace comparable to that of males. The equipment is capable in and of itself.

"Female copulatory vocalizations" were the focus of another investigation (women moaning during sex). They discovered that women were groaning less during their own orgasm and more while their partner was on the verge of going over the edge, either to improve his enjoyment or to speed up the process.

The goal here isn't to suggest that women fake orgasms; rather, it's to highlight the simple but often neglected truth that males get off on their partners' get-off.

Another research tracked the gaze of persons watching porn to see what aspects of the image drew their attention. Guess what the guys in the room were most interested in? Faces of the female performers. Surprised? I was fascinated, but not taken aback.

So, what's up?

Emotional Pleasure Vs Somatic Pleasure

It isn't difficult to operate men's machines. If the aim is to climax, most healthy adult guys can have as much as they want. They don't even require the assistance of a companion. However, there may be a missing component in that encounter.

Men need a sympathetic component - shared experience or partaking in another experience — whereas direct, physical, bodily pleasure comes easily to them.

In a nutshell, males are looking for a sense of belonging. It's what makes sex a complete experience in terms of physical sensation.

We used to view women's machinery as intricate or mysterious. We now know it isn't the case. It is, however, distinct from that of males.

Women often have no shortage of eager and available partners — if just having a partner was all that was required — but there is often something missing in the encounter. Women frequently produce greater pleasure sensations in their partners' bodies than in their own.

So they have easy access to as much empathic pleasure as they want, and they can easily fall back on it, largely through vicarious pleasure in sex, while missing out on the essential nutrient of direct, somatic, physical pleasure.

A Fresh Perspective on Sex

It's not like the studies above are what lead me to this conclusion; they're just further proof of something I've seen and understood for years: sex is better when men and women have a pleasurable shared experience and their bodies are well-handled.

Looking at sex through this perspective — that males normally want physiological pleasure while women seek emotional pleasure — has become a major cornerstone in my understanding of how sex works, what could be going on when it doesn't, and what to do about it.

It's why, when I have a couple spend 100 percent of their time learning how her body reacts, what she enjoys, and what feels wonderful, and then performing those things...

When I have them both observe and demolish all the spots where she is exaggerating or putting on a show for his benefit, and instead focus on making her feel that much for genuine... Then all of a sudden, he's receiving something he didn't even realize he was hungry for. And she's about to obtain something she may have given up hope of ever getting.

Thank you for reading...

Disclaimer:

STORY WITH ADULT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT ARE INCLUDED IN THIS POST. IT IS NOT APPROPRIATE FOR CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF 18 AND MAY NOT BE APPROPRIATE FOR ALL ADULTS. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.