Library Erotica

He thrusts me down by my shoulders onto a cold metal chair, it's turning me on, I know I shouldn't, but I cannot help myself. I feel his steaming breath and sexy accent say into my ear,

“you know what I’ll have to do if you don’t succeed”.

My heart stops as I think about her.

I reply, “understood, when do I start?” he does not respond.

Instead, I hear the door lock behind him on his way out. I remove the blindfold he placed on me so I would not remember the location. I see a computer in front of me. I take a glance around and all I see high above me is a skylight window, clouds roll over the blue sky, and to my right is a chair in the corner. It's just an empty room with one way in and one way out. Nothing feels familiar. My body is trembling like still water that was disturbed by heavy footsteps. I could not register if it were from arousal or fear?

Back to the task at hand, I had to focus on what I had to do to save us.

I knew… At this point, I finally have gone too far with my reckless choices – I stare down at the laptop… With no regrets. Man, Marina would slap me if she knew that I’d do this voluntarily if he had asked me. If he would have just given me the option at first. He could have understood that I would have invited his request. I guess he has to see that he is able to trust me enough to do that though. To be able to let me into his world was no easy task. If only he tested me some other way. Not like this. They did not need to hold Marina hostage. She’s harmless.

As serious as the situation was, I felt my mind wandering into memories of yesterday.

I shake my head and quickly wipe away the tears forming in the corners of my eyes. How could he do this to me? after all the lovemaking! I thought I sensed his desire for me… otherwise, I would not have let him have me so intimately. I let myself become all his. I surrendered to him. I was fully vulnerable. I was his to play with. It was his soft yet rough touch that made the hairs on my arms stand up. Thinking I was in love, that maybe he loved me too.

But then I look around the room I’m in and realize I am in a prisoner-like cell. Huh. Love!?

I am such a fool!

I sigh and sink back into my chair; I know I should be worried about her, about myself… but all I can think about is how he bent me over the railing of that yacht and fucked me so good, so hard, that my moans echoed across the Mediterranean Sea. He knew it was my first time and he didn’t hold back, I’m glad he didn’t.

mmm. I shift on my seat, daydreaming about how he pulled my head back by my hair, gripping my chin; he pulled my face towards him as he penetrated me. He bit on to my bottom lip with his teeth, I whined for more, he tightened his bite and I tasted blood. Again, he thrusts me so hard I nearly fell over the rail.

Reality checks in, I ask myself… Why do I want that again? UGH! I can’t even force these feelings to go away. Like I said. I’m such a fool. Of course, I was blinded… blinded by his ocean blue eyes, softly tanned ivory skin, or maybe it was his beachy waves pushed back and his chiseled body. The scent of him was still stained on my shirt, the bite he left still bled a little. I go to suck on my lip. I close my eyes. My body tenses.

How could things be so wrong but feel so good? How can I want someone so badly who put my life in danger? What is wrong with me? All the knowledge I have and yet I feel so stupid, but so enticed.

Anyone could guess by now that my life prior to this was nothing short of dull and bleak, why else would I welcome such torture. Apart from me wanted to be there, in a sick sort of way. Hell, if this was sick then I don’t want to be healed. Damn, I need to shut the fuck up. I had to get to work.

Strange how one of my fantasies has become my reality… There is no turning back now. Who am I kidding? I wouldn’t even if I could.

Rewind to 3 weeks ago to before I and Marina left home to board our flights at JFK, if you would have told me then that I would be where I am now, I would of think you were crazy. Of course, we were warned about these types of things happenings, but no one ever thinks it could happen to them. We thought our parents were being overly dramatic. Not once did we stop to think about how real shit might get if we were too carefree. But when you grow up in a gated community, nothing bad ever happens. So… you know how that goes. We kind of jumped at the chance to be spontaneous. Fuck that, we swan dove into it.

Throughout all our senior year of college, Marina and I wanted to backpack through Europe, but of course, we were denied those requests by our helicopter families... So, we planned to take off as soon as we graduated. Never expected to end up on a yacht off the coast of Monaco. Reflecting on it now, all over Paris, I was seeing signs to go here, funny how that worked out. For all I know, they could have planned it the moment we touched down in CDG.

Marina and I were top of our IT class. She did it because it was predetermined by her family, where I was more of the techno maniac. I craved control and the only way I could get it was by being the best of the best in this field. On the contrary, at this very moment, I wanted to be controlled… This is the only time I willingly wanted to submit to someone in my entire life. I wanted that someone to be him.

Upon hearing their demands, I knew that I was better suited to finish our captor’s requests. Marina was always boasting about her skills, even though she wasn’t the best, nor did she even want to be. Ironic how it came to be that she needed these skills to save her life, from a situation, that we were placed in because of the particular skillset. Had she not said anything about our studies - this would not have happened…

But then I would not have had the chance to prove my worth to him.

Sure, Marina was smart, but she was an extremely safe, and boring person. The first night we docked I knew that she wanted to impress, the beautiful yet, mysterious group of socialites we met at a local club. It was weird how they approached us, it'bes like they knew we were coming. Anyway, I noticed right away when Marina was flirting because she always brings up her grades at school when she strikes a conversation with someone she has an interest in.

She could never handle the pressure they placed us under. It’s not that I wanted her to, but I expected her to fail the task. It was no doubt that in face of danger, she was not the best candidate for the job. She should have kept quiet and let me handle it. I know I was quiet, I always felt like the superior one. Fuck. She was just a good person trying to always do the right thing. It's not a bad thing but she’s not cut out for that life. Can’t be a hero and a coward too.

In the middle of my typing and pondering… Memories of that exotic man uncontrollably flood my mind. Ugh, get a grip. Obviously, he does not give a shit about me! If he did why did he throw me in the trunk of that car? Furthermore! Why do I care? WHY DO I CRAVE HIM MORE? Why did I feel like he owed me an explanation?

I shake my head and continue creating the software and firewalls. I do not know what these people needed it for, but I knew that if I do not give them what they want, we would never get back home. Well, I could care less if I did but I wanted to make sure that Marina got back safely. I am not one to bargain with terrorists. But I knew if I had not said anything to save her, I would never forgive myself. I mean, when presented with our options, she jumped up in valour to go first regardless of if she thought she was strong enough, that’s why I respect her even though I think she’s an idiot.

She turned around before they pulled her away, looked me in the eyes and said, “I’ll do it, it's my fault we’re here, I got this”. Her words said confidence, but her eyes said otherwise. I felt awful for her. Ugh, I shook the thought out of my head. To be honest, I just wish she did not say anything at all so I could have been the one to be dragged away by him. I wanted to save the day for her. But I also desperately wanted to impress him. Now that the damage is done. I am stuck with a pulling and pushing guilt-stricken mentality.

NO matter what though, NO matter how much I want to want him… I know that if I get out of here, I will never see him again.

Not because I don’t want to see him, but because I know he won’t bring me with him.

NO. I won't take no for answer. How could I go home after this? There is no way I could return to that meaningless bullshit I called a life. I felt like Anakin Skywalker when he was turning into Darth Vader… Descending into the dark side but with a smile on my face.

Hours pass and the skylight now shows a starry night. I finish up the coding. Almost as soon as I saved it to the computer, I hear the door unlocking. My stomach tightens. I want to turn around to see him, but I stay still. Remembering how he liked dominance, just like me. I did not move. Deeply wanting more of him, I feel my nipples harden. I throbbed for him.

Oh god… He is getting closer. I shut my eyes, my lips quiver out a gasp

as if I just orgasmed.

I feel hands made of steel press onto my shoulders. Wishing they would go around my neck.

He whispers, “congratulations, you passed.”

Fiercely, I stand up and face him, there were so many things I wanted to say but nothing came out. He stands there with such sex appeal. My eyes shifted from his eyes to lips… and before I knew it, he grabbed me how I wanted to be grabbed, and threw me on top of the desk. Ripped open my shirt.

I slapped him. He grabbed both of my hands. While smiling at me in amusement, he kissed my right hand, then my wrist, then my arm, then my shoulder, making his way to my neck. Goosebumps go down my body. I shudder. I let my head hang back to reveal my chest. He sucked on my nipples. I let out a long-awaited moan! He led my left hand to his stomach, gently sliding my hand down past his abs. Then eagerly shoving my hand into his pants. He never wore underwear. I felt him get harder and harder. And I got wetter and wetter. He ripped down his pants, I turn around and bend over the desk.

He’s deep into my guts.

And I am waist-deep in sinking sand – yet strangely enough… I welcome the anxious excitement that is coursing through my veins… As he is pumping me from behind, I manage to moan out to him in between each thrust, “I want to go with you (he pumps harder and harder while pushing my face down) please (and another)please, I want to be yours (and another) to do with as you wish (and another, but he stops, with his hand still pressed against the small of my back and the other pressing on my face, he releases)

I continue, “I don’t give a fuck what it is you do, but I want to go with you.”

I turn around to find him staring at me with hungry desire. He lets out a lite chuckle, as he raises his eyebrow, indicating to me that I don’t know what I’m getting myself into.

This infuriates me, I stop requesting, and start demanding! “FUCK THIS! YOU'RE TAKING ME WITH YOU!”

He yanks me towards him, lifts me up and slams me on to his cock. Fuck, I love it so much! Even the way my name rolls off his tongue is…hypnotic. I tell him, “say my name!”. He begins to say it into my ear “R-“

RRRRRIIIINNNNGGGGGG!

My alarm snaps me out of this erotica trance. Staring off into the distance, I realize that there is a wet sticky mess between my legs… I don’t want to get up. I look down at the paperback, I feel it daunting me, telling me to turn another page. I am more than enticed, my mouth salivates as I go to lick my finger, I want so badly to flip my way into this arousing paradox. Ugh, such stimulation!

It's embarrassing, that if anyone came within 20 feet of me, they would surely hear my heart beating through my chest! It is so loud I can no longer hear my alarm. I set it so I have an hour left to leave the library. It closes at 7: O’clock. There are still so many pages left before I can finish. I better just check it out and return it once I am done. Besides, I don’t want to walk around in public with pre-cum in my underwear ever again. I look on the back, but there is no barcode… this can’t be real… can it?

Mm. But when I think about it… It's strange where I found it. Which was slipped underneath a bookshelf in the IT section, come to think of it, no one ever comes here. And the only reason I found it was because I dropped my phone and it slipped under the shelf. I had thought the book must have fallen off from the librarians' cart… Or what if someone was hiding it for safekeeping? Is this a diary?... Rational thought comes to mind. I smile. Nah, can’t be. Then my smile fades… can it? I mean if it is, this is one forbidden fruit I should not have bit into, but just like the protagonist in the story - who remains anonymous - I lust for more. Speaking of that, if it is real, I want to find out who it is.

My finger dried as I questioned everything, so I go to lick it again, my tongue is already pooling, as I am about to turn another page. Just as I am about to turn it. I feel someone tap my shoulder. It's like life left my body, I twitch. Instantaneously I start to perspire everywhere! My face turns red and my glasses fog. I look to my left and right, but I cannot see who it is. I feel the story being pulled out of my grip, but I do not dare to tug back. Instead, I let go. My fingers shaking like a leaf in mid-air, then feel it being replaced with a large envelope. I let it fall. Swiftly I grab my glasses and wipe them with my blouse. I slip them back onto my face, nearly stabbing my eye, I stand up and turn around as my vision frantically scours the area, like I lost a child in a crowded festival.

None to my surprise, there isn’t a soul to be sight.

Peaking down at the envelope… I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t terrified. Pressing myself, I force past my better judgement. I forgot how to breathe. Nonetheless, I lightly start carefully caressing and squeezing the package with my eyes closed; like I am trying to guess what is inside a gift. It felt much worse than that, it felt, like I had a bomb in the palm of my hands! Suddenly had a new profound admiration for bomb diffusers. Yeesh, that is one heck of an occupation to get into. Oh my! Focus! Hmm… Well, it's certainly not heavy enough to be explosive, besides, there are no wires. I keep feeling out the shape of the contents om in the package. I open an eye, as I make out 2 shapes, both items are rectangular-shaped… This whole ordeal has piqued my interest, now both of my eyes are open at this point. As I touch the crumpled paper, I am intrigued because it feels like… it feels like…

No…

Way…

Using my keys, I tear open the top, and to my complete and utter shock. There lies a stack of crisp hundred-dollar bills and a cellphone. My jaw drops to the floor. I look around once more to see if anyone is watching. Still no one. I pour it onto the table to start counting. The whopping total is $20,000 dollars! My legs go numb. I feel my lips getting dry. My chest tightens. Fairly sure I am having heart palpations. I look around to see if I was being punk'd. But no cameramen came running around the corner nor did anyone jump out from behind the dusty Ficus in the corner of the room.

Yeah right! Mm, to be frank with myself, that would be a hell of a lot easier to believe than the possible outcomes rushing in my thought process.

Why would whoever that was, just give me this money and this phone? Maybe because they thought I figured out who they were, and this was their way of bargaining with me to keep it hush? Or… Maybe they just wanted someone in this area of studies to find it? I mean, it is hard being a student, on a serious note, I have gone hungry more times than I’d like to admit. Maybe they knew that? Considering if they were that nice, why not introduce themselves? Were they watching me? Maybe these people track down students with the right smarts to make it in a life like that? Those girls majored in IT classes just like me, differences they weren't struggling. What if they watch people like me (aka poor) that go into those studies? And this is their way of giving you the option to work for them if you want to? Instead of how they lured and kidnapped Marina?

Have I just been given an advance?

After a few seconds of wondering if I should take it or not, I look at my cracked library card and hear my stomach growling. I feel the poverty crushing me. I quit hesitating and decide to shove the money into my bookbag. I slip the phone into my pocket.

If taking the money was a way of accepting the offer, then count me in.

I gather myself and my things. I rush out of the room, down the aisle of bookcases, then sprint up the stairs to return to the main floor. Reaching the top of the steps I see the librarian staring at me from across the room. I stand up straight and walk over, I try my hardest not to look suspicious. Who am I kidding? I knew I looked like how I felt, and I felt like I just robbed a bank, butterflies were multiplying in the pit of my stomach with each stride!

Shockingly enough I was able to get this question out of my zip tight lips.

“Ahem, hey, you didn’t by any chance… see someone come out of the area I was just in a little while ago, did you?”.

She lowered her glasses and looked up at me as if to say with her expression that she was extremely unimpressed with my question. Smacking and chewing away on her gum, she rolled her eyes and responded with such a heavy Boston accent, “listen, I see a lotta people come and go here miss, you’re gonna need to be lil more specific than that hun, but besides the point (she obnoxiously chews her gum then blows a bubble and pops it) no... I ain't seen anyone in over an hour, just you. Now, are ya gonna check those books out or not? I got somewhere to be.”

What a bitch.

I look down to the books then up at her. Her expression doesn’t change. As I place the books on the counter, I say, “You know what.” she pauses and glares at me. With my chin up I say, “No, I won’t be borrowing them, I’ll be buying them from the bookstore down the street, thanks, anyway. Oh, and don’t forget to put these back where I found them.” I smirked at her. She gives me an irked expression. I toss my library card into the trash behind her and walk away. I spin on my toes, throwing my coat over my shoulder, and walk out of there like a badass, just like the author of the little black book.