LGBTQ Slang Everyone Should Know

One of the most annoying things in the world is hearing a word or phrase and realizing you have no clue what it means, especially when you're out with LGBTQ friends. Sometimes it can be frustrating to feel left out of the convo. As a gay man, I’ve used and heard slang that most heterosexuals wouldn’t recognize if it slapped them in the face. Believe me, I’ve had plenty of blank stares when I’ve used them. Even worse, too many people who don’t properly understand what the slang means use it in a negative way, often as a way to attack the LGBTQ community. But don’t fret, it’s time to get informed. With my help, you can be in the know when it comes to LGBTQ speak.

A little background will help you understand why we say the things we say. Many of the words or phrases that are thrown around can be traced back to the early 20th century. Due to laws that made homosexuality and sodomy a crime, the LGBTQ community basically created a secret language to communicate with others publicly, without revealing their sexual orientation. While much of the verbiage evolved or fell out of fashion, the core of LGBTQ slang has remained.

Within in the LGBTQ community some terms are interchangeable, and some are strictly used by one of the sub groups. Some slang can be informative and funny, while others are offensive and insensitive. This can sometimes lead to bad blood and infighting, but when it boils down to it, the LGBTQ community is one of the most united groups in the world. Don’t get it twisted, we use these words often and you're welcome to use some of them too, but there are some words you really shouldn't ever say unless you’re part of the group they're referring to. It's similar to how racially diverse groups use a lexicon that, if used by outsiders, might be offensive. But within their culture, it's ok for them to say these words to each other. Remember, it's especially important to be sensitive and politically correct. Use caution when speaking about things that you can’t personally relate to. Not all of these terms are ok for you to say, but it's important to know them nonetheless. It's all about love and acceptance, people!

People often use LGBTQ to summarize all of the queer communities, but if we are being politically correct here, it's actually: LGBTTTQQIAA. I won’t go into all them, but here is a breakdown of what the core LGBTQ spectrum letters are and what they mean:

L - Lesbian: Women who are sexually attracted women.

G - Gay: Men who are sexually attracted to men.

B - Bisexual: Men or women that are attracted sexually to both men and women.

T - Transgender or Trans: An umbrella term for people whose gender identity differs from what is typically associated with the sex they were assigned at birth

Q - Queer / Non-Binary or sometimes referred as "Questioning": An umbrella term which embraces a variety of sexual preferences, orientations, and habits of those who do not adhere to the heterosexual and cisgender majority. Questioning is the exploring of one’s gender, sexual identity, sexual orientation, or all three. It is a process of exploration by people who may be unsure.

Now that you know who’s who in the core LGBTQ family, here are some terms you should know.

Lesbian Slang

Dyke: An insensitive derogatory term used to describe a lesbian.

Diesel Dyke or Bull Dyke: A lesbian who tends to portray a more masculine persona.

Gold Star: A lesbian who’s never been with a man.

Pillow Queen: A girl who likes to receive sexually but refuses to give in return. She'd rather lay still on the pillows.

U-haul Lesbian: A girl who tends to move in fairly quickly with those she dates.

Hasbian: A woman who used to identify as a lesbian and date women, but is now dating men.

LUG: Lesbian Until Graduation. More frequently than not, a student at a liberal arts or an all-girls college who lives a gay life all four years, only to be found straight and married post grad.

Lipstick Lesbian: A lipstick lesbian is a woman who loves other women, but also loves her clothes and makeup and shoes. She tends to dress on the femmy side.

Saturday Night Lesbian: Term for lesbians who present themselves as heterosexual on their normal weekdays and may be in the closet to friends and co-workers.

Andro Lesbian: Lesbian who looks androgynous, or both male and female.

Drag King: A drag king is a woman who dresses to look like a man, usually for performance. Drag kings are often lesbian, but not always.

Gay Slang

Twink: Usually young or young-looking smaller, hairless men.

Bear: Hairy, often larger, stocky men.

Daddy: Mature older man.

Queen: Flamboyant gay man.

Drag Queen: A man who dresses as or impersonates a woman for entertainment and show purposes. Commonly drag is a performance art. Some drag queens live in drag but do not identify as trans, while others some do.

Fag Hag or Fruit Fly: A woman that is a gay man’s close friend.

Cub: Typically stocky/heavier younger men and into bears. Like a cute little baby bear.

Trade: Straight-acting/masculine (but still potentially closeted), and/or occasionally bisexual man who will engage in intercourse. Good for a one night stand.

Top: The inserting sexual partner, the pitcher.

Bottom: The receptive sexual partner, the catcher.

Polar Bear: Older bear with grayer hair.

Closet Queen: A gay man who is a gay in secret, not out.

Bareback: Sex without protection.

Girl/Gurl: Term of endearment.

Werk: To give an outstanding presentation. A term meaning to "work your body."

Ladyboy: A person who was born male but presents very femme.

Realness: The act of appearing to be convincing or realistic.

YAASSS: To mean yes, out of excitement of a situation. Originates from ballroom drag culture in NYC in the early 1980s—the documentary Paris is Burning—and its use has evolved with pop culture icons like Lady Gaga.

Serving Fish: Drag queens who appear to convincingly look feminine.

Fag/Faggot: Derogatory term used to generalize the gay male population. We can call each other fags, you can’t call us fags. Got it?

Bisexual Slang:

AC/DC: A bisexual.

Beer Bi: Bisexual only when under the influence of alcohol.

Heteroflexible: Predominantly heterosexual, but having same-sex relationships or sex occasionally.

Transgender Slang

Brain Sex: The concept that male and female brains have distinct characteristics that lead to differences in thoughts and behavior.

Admirer: Someone who is attracted to transgender people.

Bind: To conceal breasts.

DQ: Dairy queen, i.e. a drag queen who's had breast implants.

SRS: Sex reassignment surgery.

Transphobia: The fear and hatred of transgender people.

Tuck: To conceal male genitals by tucking them between the legs.

Tranny: Considered a derogatory slur to describe trans people.

Queer Slang

Ursula: Queer woman who hangs out with "bears"; also called a "Goldilocks."

Cisgendered: Another term for non-trans people, meaning that someone's body and gender identity match.

Genderfuck: Someone who appears visibly gender variant.

Genderqueer: Any individual that doesn't—or won't—adhere to the expectation of the only two gender presentations that which our culture allows.

Bigender: Bigender people identify as two genders simultaneously, or move between them.

Gender fluid: Referring to a gender identity that changes with time and/or situation as opposed to a fix sex-role or gender queer expression.

Girlfag: A woman who is very attracted to gay/bi men.

Guydyke: A man who is very attracted to lesbian/bi women. He may (or may not) also feel he is (fully or partly) a "lesbian in a man’s body."

Agender (non-gender): Not identifying with any gender, the feeling of having no gender.

Common LGBTQ Slang:

Gaydar: Slang term for the ability to identify other homosexuals. It's usually 90 percent on point, or at least you want it to be!

Beard: A "beard" is a person of the opposite sex who marries or dates a closeted lesbian or gay person to cover up their homosexuality.

KiKi: A term used for gossip, small talk, chatting, or a heart to heart.

KaiKai: The act of drag queens having sex with each other.

Shade, Throwing Shade, or Reading Someone: A form of insult. Bluntly pointing out a person's flaws or faults.

Slay: To be on point, to win, to be outstanding, or to be the best.

Gag or Gaging: To react intensely, usually as a result of shock; also may be used as an exclamation "She was gagging with excitement!"

Poz: HIV positive person.

Neg: HIV negative person.

NSA: No strings attached sex.

Butch: Someone that acts with more stereotypical masculine traits.

Femme: Someone that acts with more stereotypical feminine traits

Gay Mafia/Velvet Mafia: Pejorative and offensive terms for the expansion of gay rights groups in politics, media, and everyday life.

Words can cause harmful reactions, but when used correctly can empower people. Empowerment is about calling forward and claiming inner power to all areas of life. When a community of shared values and goals comes together, there is an innate inspiration that happens. All energies are focused and directed together towards a common good. The intention of slang was to create a way to separate anyone that was not part of the community of a similar self-identifying group. However, if the rest of society know the same terms, then people as a whole can relate to each other more and the world can be a better place. In turn, those that identify in the LGBTQ spectrum will not be ashamed to be seen loving who they want to. YAAASSSS!