How To Set Yourself Up For a Sexy Family Vacation

Four of you crammed in a small hotel room, bickering on long car rides, dinners at Papa John’s Pizza — how hot is that?

As we prepare for the summer vacation season, as parents we are all faced with the age-old question — how are we going to have sex with our kids underfoot 24/7? Seriously, family vacations are wonderful for all the reasons we include in postcards to grandparents — we reconnect as a family, we make wonderful memories together, we have long chats over dinner where the kids open up about how their lives are really going.

But they kind of suck too. As adults, we work hard and our day-to-day lives are busy and hectic. This is largely, or at least partially, because of our kids. So, it’s OK to admit it — a small/large part of you kind of wants to ditch the kids during vacation time. But we can’t, vacations being sacred family binding time and all of that.

So, how do we get the best of both worlds? How do we plan a vacation with quality family time but also some good carved out times for the parents to reconnect and have an ‘adult’ portion of the vacation? In this summer, more than any other in recent memories, parents need to reconnect and find that sexy spark. As we’ve been planning for our meager little summer vacation this year, we’ve been scheming to do just this.

Making sure you can find some couples’ time on vacation starts with making sure you have space for couples’ time. For this summer’s vacation, like most in recent years, we’ve gotten separate rooms for the adults and for the kids. Having our own rooms to retreat into for an afternoon break and at bedtime — priceless. Most obviously, it gives you a place to be intimate, but equally importantly, it just gives you and the kids space to decompress a little bit and have some privacy.

While having your own room is logistically important, having sexy times on a family vacation starts in the mind. I have found that the number 1 factor that determines whether you will have a sexy vacation is whether you psych yourself up to have a sexy vacation. Case in point. Our closest friends are the most sexual couple we know. But, until recently, when they went on family vacation they were totally sexless. They said it was like a switch got turned off. Even though in their day-to-day lives at home with kids they had a great sex life, when they went on family vacations they never had sex.

This year, they vowed to go into family vacation time differently. They said that from the moment they started to plan their summer vacation, they were keeping their sexual connection in mind. The vacation itself was nothing special — it was in fact exactly the same location and duration as last year’s’. But their mindset was different. And, we got a text from them three days into the family trip — they have some great times with their kids, but also some mind-blowing sex. A huge win.

So… you have the separate room and you have the sexy mindset — what else? In the spirit of everything starting from having the right mindset, from the very start, I would say you should add these little items:

When you are packing, pack for two vacations. There is the clothing you will wear when you are out with the kids and there is the clothing that you will wear alone in your room, maybe in bed (for a short while) and when you go out for dinner alone with your partner. That second wardrobe should be as scandalous as you dare.

Plan time for just the two of you. Plan at least one couple’s dinner date. Let the kids order room service, and get out to a nice restaurant for a long meal for just the two of you.

Allow at least a couple of family evenings to wrap up early enough so that you are all packed in your rooms by 9 pm or so. The kids can watch a movie and you can have some sex fun.

Pack accessories. Hotel room sex is awesome. Hotel room sex with sex toys is triple awesome.

None of these is difficult, but they can make a huge difference in your enjoyment of your vacation. I mean it when I say this — I really like family vacation time. But I also love time with my partner and I love having a sexy vibe when on vacation. And there is no reason we cannot have the best of both of these worlds.