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How to keep your sex life alive.

Sex is great

By DSPublished 3 years ago 7 min read
How to keep your sex life alive.
Photo by Dainis Graveris on Unsplash

Sex is a wonderful thing. It can cover the whole spectrum of emotions. You can feel so many things from it. It is hard to list. What I would like to discuss is our basic need. In life you need all the basics like food, water, shelter. You also need other things to be emotionally stable. A good friend or two helps. A nice job with coworkers who you can at least tolerate for eight to ten hours a day. If you are a stay-at-home homemaker then your list does not change, it is just more difficult to full fill those needs.

Some people think that sex is simple mechanics and never get past that it is used for procreation only and therefore may just be another chore. That is usually the unhappiest couples.

Let us look at this example. These couples are usually one bread winner typically male who runs the home. The wife or lover to be politically correct as your lover or wife can be anyone in today's world. The bread winner can be as well. They have one taking care of the home and meals. The children are cared for, and the upkeep of the living quarters are also kept up. This type of relationship the bread winner is usually tired most of the time and works a lot to make the money needed to support the family. When they come home if they are feeling a little frisky, they will usually satisfy their need quickly and one sided. It will be a hello, boom and thank you that was great. Leaving the other partner without full filling their needs. You see this with a lot of the older generations, or long-time married couples who have moved beyond sex.

The stay-at-home partner lists sex as a chore and really does not get anything from it. They either try scheduling it or allowing x amount of time for it. Both partners will usually be unhappy but stay together for whatever reasons.

Sex is more than the physical act of penetration or satisfying ones needs one climax at a time. The stay-at-home partner usually needs to self-gratify themselves and after a while that becomes even a chore. Not to mention after so long nothing will ever feel as good as a caring partner taking care of you. Sometimes even the bread winner may feel as if it is a chore if the homemaker makes it out like one. They may tend to wander and take care of themselves or seek other means.

If you look at sex from a young person's point of view it is magical, and the fear of the first time overwhelms them. Then you add in all the other emotions to that first encounter. Hope, fear, love, pain, and pleasure are but a few.

There are so many variables and so many different people out there that to cover them all would be a few volumes of information. I would like just to pass on simple things that you could do to help one another to have a wonderful and meaning full sexual relationship.

At the top of the list, you must see one another through your own eyes. Take in the changes that have happened and are happening. The first thing you should do in the morning is greet your mate with pleasant feelings. Greet them with a warm embrace and a sexy long kiss before the day starts. This will get both of your hormones rolling. Granted it may cause a few days of being late to work but hey I am sure you needed that break. Another thing to do is find your mate before you leave the home and wrap your arms around them and give them another long sexy kiss. Tell them you care and love them.

Throughout the day stay in touch as best you can by texting at break or lunches. Make the texts more than just it is your turn to pick up the kids and all the other chores of the day. Say something of merit and keep it light and teasing. Show your feelings, hint toward how you wish they were with you at that very moment so you could hold them or kiss them. This will keep your mate’s attention and maybe take their mind off the daily drudges.

At home make sure you greet your mate but only after you have had some time to unwind from the day especially if it was a hard day and nothing went your way. Make sure the first words are not where is dinner or did you pay that bill, I think you know what I mean. You need a warm and caring home to foster a great sex live. Sure, there are love and hate relationships that do work for a while but in the long run it will be the caring ones that last.

Now you have two new tools to work with to start a wonderful sex life with. What is next you say. Well keeping the embers warm helps in so many ways. It is easier to do the more goodwill that is spread. You need to communicate with your mate about sex. Yes, it is not a taboo subject. You are both adults and both have needs. You have decided to make a life with one another, and it should be more than just a financial one. Take the time to talk about your wants and likes from the bedroom. You would do the same from say a high-priced item say a car or pool. Your sex lives are of high value too. Without the closeness and the filling ones need we become distant to one another.

Explore each other’s fantasies. Especially if it is something you think would be fun. Your live does not end because the knot has been tied. Now is the time to take one another to new heights. You can dabble in role play. Set aside a night for oral play only. The world is yours to explore. Sex not only is a basic need, but it helps to keep us in shape too. You do burn a lot of calories having sex. Explore different positions. Even try different places in the home. The bedroom may have been played out but the kitchen or the bathroom have never come into play. Little things will ignite the passion you both felt at one time.

Now I know all the women and some men will get very jealous at the mention of having a threesome. It takes a very strong couple to endure a threesome and especially if it is forced upon the other partner. This could do more damage if handled improperly. A few of the mindsets of most people think that someone like that is a deviant or unwholesome. Some maybe but if you both agree and look at making love a sharing experience and carefully choose your partners third person together it can be a whole new world.

Look at it as you are making his or her dream come true. Now that will be very hot and will make both of you extremely turned on or should at least if you are able to accept it. It is not that you are unable to satisfy your partner. Everyone has a thousand reasons not too. If done right the three of you will have shared something so close and so bonding that you may have a new outlook on life. It can be so liberating as well. You can build to new heights and explore new avenues of role play and situations. So many positions and so many variables.

Threesomes if done right can do better than harm. Keep in mind just like all sex play you will probably need ground rules. Everyone needs to know it is for fun and to be shared and only shared when everyone is available. No secluded meetings after the fact unless everyone is involved. Simple rules you all will always abide by. If you are wanting it to be a third person who you both would be able to enjoy take that into account as well. So that all fantasies are considered, and everyone can enjoy the night or weekend.

Keep in mind if you do a threesome the third should be someone you both trust as you will be letting them into your most intimate relationship practices and while that night may be fun the next day could be terrible if the third betrays your trust in some way. That is why threesomes are usually avoided because some people cannot move past the whole monogamy thing, we have established in most of the world. They feel betrayed or left out after the fact.

If this is the route you would like to explore you may want to invite your third over dinner and get to know them better. Lay the groundwork as it be. Only after everyone knows what is to be expected of them could it move forward and be a night or weekend of memories.

Keep love alive by any way you feel is right. It could be a simple dance with your partner when your song comes on the radio to planning a sensual pleasure filled evening of a dinner consisting of the two of you feasting on fruits and honeys off one another’s naked bodies. It can be as simple or complex as you make it if you are putting in the effort.

Even a nice gratifying oral connection that makes your mate orgasm in the morning before the day even starts can be a nice touch. Surprise them with a gift of your time and a

I have a wide variety of stories so please feel free to read and contribute if you like them and would like to see more. Here is my link.


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