Intimacy and lust in a relationship are topics that should always garner some attention. Some believe that lust is not the most important aspect of a relationship, but few can actually be indifferent towards it. After all, lust is an essential part to a relationship. Without it, you're going to have a hard time making things work.
So what exactly do we mean when we say lust and intimacy? Intimacy is profound and addresses attraction in multiple emotional, intellectual, and sexual manners. Lust focuses on one particular aspect of this: the sexual attraction we feel for our partner. What happens when lust leaves a relationship? The relationship begins to struggle. Especially when the lust becomes one-sided, the situation can become very painful. You can try to work together to restore the lust, intimacy, and closeness—some couples really manage to do it properly, but many couples also fail at it. Sometimes when the intimacy and lust are gone, they can not be recovered. It is far easier to take preemptive action to keep lust alive in your relationship from the beginning.
Tips to Keep Lust Alive In Your Relationship
- Talk honestly and openly about how you feel without blaming and accusing each other. When you speak frankly, it is as though a huge burden falls off of your soul. We often fear that we are too complicated and the other person won't understand, but it's worth a shot. If your partner understands you, this emotional closeness can translate back into physical closeness. This advice translates into your sex life as well. Communicate about what you like, what isn't so great for you, and what you think you should work on.
- Fear closes us. Honestly talking about how we feel will keep us open and available to our partners. This point elaborates on the previous. If you and your partner haven't lost your attraction to one another yet, make sure you're opening up regularly. Being afraid to tell them what you like or dislike can cause hidden resentments to sneak into your relationship. Communication is one of the most important things in the relationship between two people, especially when it comes to lust.
- Maintain physical contact throughout the day, look each other in the eyes, and laugh with each other. Give kisses, hugs, and little touches. These things often lead to deeper physically intimacy. Every relationship requires some kind of playfulness, both in the bedroom and out of the bedroom. An unexpected caress can leave your partner craving your touch, and can be the perfect precursor to some time in the bedroom later that night.
- Become aware of what you value and find attractive in your partner. Think long and hard about what makes your partner most attractive to you, and tell them often. Sometimes even your partner knows you love them, you should show it often. Tell them what exactly you find attractive. This can be anything from "that shirt makes your eyes look great," to "I find it really sexy when you're working on your car."
- Cultivate appreciation and respect for your partner. If you have ever felt like anything was missing from your relationship and you have worked through it, do your best to keep things fixed. Do not stop showing how much you care and never stop working on your relationship. Just because things are perfect at the moment does not mean you can sit on the couch and stop trying. In order to keep it perfect you have to appreciate what you have.
- Surprise them with something they would have never expected. If you never clean the house, do it a couple of times and show your partner that you care about helping out and putting effort in. If you aren't a sports fan, watch a game together. This added time together can foster physical desire, especially if your partner is enamored by your desire to do something they enjoy with them.
- Never make them think that they are not worth your attention. Always give your partner compliments and let them know how important they are to you. Hug them when they are down and emotionally broken, let them know they are never alone and give your best to make them feel like they are your universe, because after all—they really are the most important person to you. Again, emotional closeness fosters physical closeness.
Problems with lust and intimacy are not anything that can be fixed off the cuff. That's why taking the time to keep lust alive in your relationship is vital. Communication is the most important thing about this. If you're feeling lust towards your partner, tell them.