How to Avoid Having a One-Night-Stand
My Personal Tips to Avoid This Sticky Situation
You know what I mean... You just swiped right on the cutest guy on Tinder and you're meeting him tonight for drinks. Except you're probably unaware what he really wants. He wants to hit the jackpot, in terms of getting your clothes off and in your sheets (or back of his pickup truck in some cases).
HOW DO YOU AVOID THIS SITUATION? Here are my top tips:
- AVOID drinking/getting drunk PRIOR to the date. I know your anxiety and nerves are probably wreaking havoc on your psyche right now. But I urge you: DO NOT DRINK PRIOR TO THE DATE. If you do drink a glass of wine before the date, you might become even more anxious and require another glass and before you know it, you're showing up to the date four drinks in. Trust me on this one. It's not a good look and it also lowers your mental defences when this incredibly hot guy comes swooping in to buy you more drinks. Just wait until the actual date. A healthy alternative to nerves is a magnesium supplement, seriously it will calm your jitters.
- Get PERSONAL with the guy. Yeah, that means ask a lot of questions about him. Don't let him take the lead on the convo, finding out what makes you tick. Find out what he's about. Have your douche-bag radar on and stay attuned to it. If he seems like a loser or a jerk, politely say see-ya. The last thing you want to do is let him find out all about you and coerce you to come over his place or let him take you to his car. Avoid those places at all costs.
- As I said before, avoid anywhere too private with the guy on the first date, this includes the beach at night, his car (did I already mention that it might be a good idea to take your own car? Yeah do that), your car, his bed, your bed, your grandmas bed. You get the picture. Stay in public with the guy if you're trying to avoid a fast hook up. Keep things casual at the bar, club or event. The more people around the better.
- Make your intentions known. Now some ladies disagree with me on this about voicing your intentions for the date, but if you can up front, even before meeting the guy, just tell him that he's not getting any action like that. It would serve you both well and take some pressure off of the date. If not, in person, drop hints that it's not your style to get intimate immediately. Don't explain yourself away. Give your standard a clear ring once and then change the subject. You should never have to argue over this with someone you're on a first date with. If they don't respect you, then ditch.
- Be careful with your drink. That's right. I like to think the best of everyone, but don't go to the bathroom with a half-drunk drink. A guy or even bartender could easily slip something in your drink while you aren't paying attention and that's a one-stop shop to having a one night stand or even being raped. Avoid that at all costs.
- Get physical, but with boundaries. Don't let the guy be kissing all up on you in places you feel uncomfortable or in a way that seems too sexual. One thing can easily lead to another and when you've had a few drinks it can seem like it all happens so fast. So don't be so stoic that the poor guy can't get within five feet of you, but make sure to voice and enforce your boundaries.
Now lastly, if you DO end up having a one night stand, despite all of these suggestions. It's not the end of the world. Using protection is optimal, but make sure that your partner understands your rules about sex. Don't feel like you have to do just what they want if you don't feel comfortable with it. If you totally blow it and have unprotected sex with the one-night stand man, make sure to get tested if you can and take plan B if you're worried about unwanted pregnancy. Your body is YOURS to protect and care for.
If the dude doesn't text you again after the night is through, honestly, DO NOT TEXT THEM. LET THEM GO. They are not dating material and someone who wouldn't want to check up with you or want to see you again after such an intimate exchange is not someone you want to pursue or entertain.
I hope that helped! I appreciate the reads and shares! Contact me if you want to talk about your experiences or tips for avoiding a one night stand.