Getting Frisky in the Bedroom: Foreplay Guide for Seniors

If you aren't already familiar with me, I have been working as a sex coach past 15+ years. During this time, I have counseled hundreds of couples helping them to bring a playful air and invigorated excitement into their sex life.

It may be surprising to to know that many of my clients are now seniors. When I began 15 years ago, the typical customer was an early 20′s female. Today, “60-something” couples walk through the door just as often as the young ones. I feel honored to be part of the evolution of adult toys from dirty to demanded.

Today, I’ll cover a few reasons why seniors are turning to bedroom accessories to spice up the sex life – and perhaps convince a few readers along the way that age does not matter. A fabulous sex life lies in your openness to try new things, a curious attitude towards life and your playful nature.

Hope Springs

The 2012 release of Hope Springs is a 2012 comedy that takes older adult sexuality seriously. Starring Tommy Lee Jones and Meryl Streep, it was a turning point in the industry. Despite the fact they did not discuss the use of toys openly, the topics touched on risque acts such as sexual encounters in public places.

The idea was to encourage the loveless couple to take risks in their relationship. They were instructed to shed inhibitions and share silly & daring tasks together to encourage closeness. Even though it was a tough hurdle for them to overcome, by following the advice of their sex therapist (played by Steve Carrell,) they did experience a happy ending (yes, that pun IS intended!)

Even though this story is a fictional tale, it is relatable for many senior couples who have been living in a state of sexual staleness for so long. We can certainly be inspired by their story and overcome our own relationship hurdles. This is where I come into play – by guiding seniors through the world of sexual exploration.

Foody Foreplay

Food has been an aphrodisiac for many centuries. Certain food induce sexual responses, create arousal and get couples in the mood for passionate sex and foreplay.

One of the best suggestions is to feed each other berries. These are not really an aphrodisiac, maybe an aphrodisiac of the mind because if the analogies about cherries and berries and other sexually suggestive food and sex related names. If you feed her a strawberry, it’s a phallic symbol because normally she’ll lick it, flick the tip with her tongue.

Simply the sight of a woman licking the tip of a strawberry can be arousing for men. It can help you get in the mood for sex, as if you don’t need it already, but it might make her feel erotic and sexy. She will feel like a sex goddess when you feed her fruits. She can tease you by licking the tip of the fruit, making her feel very sexy like a sex goddess.

Another reason this is an intimate act for couples is because the analogy about royalty being fed grapes, like the kings if ancient times. She’ll feel like royalty when she lays back and you feed her berries. If you dip them in chocolate, it makes the whole ac even more sensual.

Chocolate Fantasies

Chocolate is a proven aphrodisiac, not just for it’s chemical properties that affect the brain and make sexual hormones age, but it’s also a mind thing where chocolates are for Valentine’s day which means sex.

It’s a common aphrodisiac just for these properties. Having them chocolate dipped also tastes better! Sex and chocolate is one of the finest combinations!

Feed each other berries but it’s usually much more tempting and erotic when the man feed it to the women and then you can share a closer intimate passion together. Other suggested fruits are bananas, grapes and melons.

Fruit is the easiest food to eat because the high water content, that makes it easy to chew and fast to swallow. nothing ruins a mood more then gaping chewing or crumbs on the face.

Fruit requires minimal chewing so you can still be and feel sexy as you chew, it’s not like your eating a meal, but you’re teasing your man and there is a very fine line between the two! Stick to fruit only and you’ll quickly see how much passion this simple act can add to your sensual encounters.

Grab your Adult Toy Box

Many people associate a vibrator with being young and/or single. It is an acceptable substitute for another human, but once a new lover/partner comes along or you feel you “are too old”, vibrator toys are often shelved for good.

This should not be the case, bringing your personal playtoy into the bedroom with your new partner shows you’re fun and you know the value of sharing sexual pleasure.

It also implies you are comfortable with your body and want to connect on a deeper and more enhanced physical level. Share your toys, it’s a unique way to connect, a slightly naughty and very liberating feel.

A Changing Trend

Vibrators are not the scary phallic tools they once used to be. If you haven’t viewed the newest offerings, the past 5 years have made huge leaps forward in terms of material quality and attractive styling.

See a new assortment of vibrators and get up to speed with new sex toy trends. Online sex toy shops are also very popular as they cater to couples offering a comfortable shopping environment. Moving far away from the dirty taboo image, it’s time to re-think sex toys as they are now a common accessory in a couple’s bedroom.

The Trend For Men

Erectile dysfunction often accompanies the golden years, but this does not mean you have to accept these bodily cues and shut down your sex life. There are many hollow strap on penis attachments that allow men and women to enjoy lovemaking in the same fashion as before.

The hollow core supports the penis inside so even when ED rears it’s head, you’re prepared. Hollow harnesses – (link) are a fabulous invention made for seniors.

A Softer Spot

One of the most common senior complaints is vibrators are too firm. Buck wild sex may no longer be of interest, it’s time to enjoy smooth passionate love and a real personal connection.

This does not mean you have to resort to simple intercourse only, there are several really soft silicone toys that make for a softer touch.

It offers an incredible difference, plastic is no longer the material of choice, silicone dominates the market offering up flexible features and cushy, squishy sensations. An additional benefit of a softer material like silicone is the vibrator tends to be more quiet – it’s physics in motion, a thicker softer coating will absorb sound waves from the motor as it spins.

If penetration is no longer desirable, there are a plethora of mini simulators that are to be held over the clitoris – (link) offering 2 main advantages: Firstly, it will help stimulate the body and can enhance the lubricity of the vagina making sexual intercourse feel better and more inviting.

Secondly, the stimulation is more subtle especially if you choose a sex toy with a really thick sleeve. It’s subtle and understated, but when a strong touch or powerful vibrations are too intense, this lighter touch is still adequate for a precursor to lovemaking, in fact it’s really fun to enjoy together during foreplay and something many sex therapists love to recommend to couples who need to re-energize their sex life.

Must Have Lube!

Many women in after menopause have vaginal dryness. Similar to erectile dysfunction in men, it’s often taken as a sign the body no longer requires sex.

Sex for procreation is no longer in the cards, but thanks to marital aids, the passion and enjoyment of connecting on a sexual level can remain strong. Using personal lubricant is extremely important not just for seniors but for all women. Enhancing the slippery feel has an immeasurable impact on sexual satisfaction.

This is a domain that’s been changing as well, long gone are the days of tacky, sticky and gooey lubes. Now we’re graced with technologically advanced water, hybrid and silicone based sex lube that mimic the body’s own natural lubrication. The finest new creation is warming lubricant.

Just like soothing muscle creams, this slippery fluid warms up as the body moves. It also prevents a cold feeling from sex toys too. These formulas are like magic. Use with sex toys and intercourse, check the new offerings of personal lubricant that is currently available.

Your Northern Erogenous Zone: The Nipples

The nipples are a very strong erogenous zone for women and men. There are certain ways to play with the nipples to set the tone. here are some suggestions of how and when to give the nipples some stimulation of their own.

1.) Light nipple rubbing.

Rub the palm of your hand over the nipple in a circular motion. Your hand will be completely flat and straight. The center of the palm will set over the nipples as you rube slowly in a circle.

Circular motion is important t excuse if you rub back and forth, the friction with your skin will pull at it in a uncomfortable way and it will lose it’s sexy appeal. Rubbing in a circle basically makes the nipple move around without any friction. The best time to do this is during foreplay at the beginning when you are getting her (or him) in the mood for sex.

Rubbing a woman’s nipples in this fashion will result in her producing more natural lubrication. She will be easily more aroused and this is a great way to lead into hot passionate wet sex.

2.) Nipple pinching.

Nipple pinching should occur more in the hot and heavy stages of sex. By then the nipples will be hard, bi from your stimulation but from the increased blood flow to the erogenous zones during foreplay. Kissing, touching and heavy petting will all cause the nipples to become erect.

When they are hard is the best time to pinch them. They will be easy to grad. You can pinch them and then release or or pinch and them and roll your the nipple through the finger back and forth. You can also pinch and pull.

Try all 3 of these techniques and judge for yourself which one you get the best response from. Each feels very different and depending on the heightened sensual passion, the partner will response to each different stimulation differently.

3.) Nipple licking and biting

Licking and biting should occur at the same time. It’s very erotic to have a nipple licked, and then bite right away after. This can be done during actual intercourse or some people do like this during foreplay. Nipple action with the mouth is always fun.

Especially when you give each other eye contact while it’s being done. Make sure not to bite to hard or it can make your partner weary every time you put your face in their chest from then on out. A light bite is better, and you should wrap your teeth with your lips first before you bit because the nipple is juts as sensitive ad the penis.

In fact, when it comes to nipple licking, treat it lie a mini penis and do to the nipple what you would want done to your penis and you will not her her.

Final Foreplay Tip: Hold the Head

Hot sex needs a build up. Foreplay is the best way to lead the path to the type of sex you want. It can be passionate sex, rough sex, tender sex, kinky sex, role play sex and the list can go on. Just like there are many shrimp dishes, there are many sex dishes. Foreplay will set the scene and here is a tip for getting passionate sex like you’ll find in a romance novel. The foreplay tip of the day:

I’m not talking about the penis head, no that’s not a good foreplay tip at all! I mean the head, head. This tip is for women and men but women seem to respond to head holding better then men do. Wrap your hand around the back of the head and support it when you lay your partner down. Support it like a baby and this will show tender intent.

When you want a passionate kiss, hold the head and press it up against your face. It seems trivial but they way you hold it and the placement of your fingers is important. Spread your fingers wide. pretend that you're holding a watermelon with one hand and you don’t want it to fall off your hand.

You can maneuver the head whichever way toy want but as it’s being cradles, it will give an innate sense of comfort, like the mother cradling her child. You can direct the action, be sure to hold them close and you can re-live a favorite scene of a romance novel. The head is not a sexual orgasm but when you pay attention to it during sex, it adds a new dimension of intimacy to your lovemaking.