Getting Drunk In Front Of My Crush

For about a year, my son’s barber and I have been having mild flirtations at his shop or through text. I didn’t take it seriously because well...he’s a BARBER. I don’t know how it is with other races, but in the African American community, barbers =THOT. Anywho, I remember taking my son to his usual Sunday morning haircut, and his barber asked me if I had plans for Cinco de Mayo. Like a big nerd, I said, “well, it’s a workday...” he laughed and said, “no, afterwards.” I laughed as well, though I was slightly embarrassed and told him no. “Good,” he said. “I want to take you out.” I still thought he was bullshitting, until he texted me the day before Cinco de Mayo and asked were we still on. I accepted his invitation, and he told me he would be at my place around 7 the next day.

The next day, I was very anxious about us going out. I didn’t know if this was a date, or just us hanging out as friends. Either way, I wanted to look fire, so I threw on my FashionNova shorts romper that showed off my butt. He arrived at my house around 7:15. When I got his car, he stared at me and told me how fine I looked. “Thank you,” I said looking down shyly. “You look handsome as well.” When we arrived to our destination, I didn’t know we would be meeting up with his best friend and his girlfriend. I am very introverted, so I’m never really sure what to say around new people. However, for the first ten minutes, I sure as hell did faked it til made it when it came to be extroverted. When his friend ordered a round a tequila shots, I knew the party was about to start. After the first shot, I became more outgoing. I started talking to his friend and his girlfriend like I had known them for years. Asking them personal questions and making jokes. Luckily, they were kind of tipsy, so they didn’t mind indulging in my crazy behavior. On the second round, I was walking around talking to everyone in the bar! I never felt so confident and luminous in my life. I loved the way alcohol made me feel personality wise. When the third shots came, this is when things got interesting. I remember my son’s barber talking to his friend about something, and when he leaned so his friend could hear him better, I kissed him...with tongue. “Don’t start nothing you can’t finish,” he said looking at me halfway surprised. “ I do plan on finishing,” I said grabbing his penis. Yes, I grabbed “down there” and not only did I grabbed it, I gave him a dry hand job in PUBLIC. Just to hear that I did that to this day makes me embarrassed to see him. I’m starting to get sidetracked, let’s get back to the story. After my public display of affection, I apparently had a 4th shot of tequila, and my bladder was beginning to explode. I told him to walk me to the restroom, (mainly because I was drunk and couldn’t see) and to give him a toilet sex. Good Lord, I don’t remember any of this! When I came out the restroom, I do remember that “the Macarena” was playing, and started twerking on him nonstop. Still, he remained a gentleman through all of this.

On the drive home, I told him I would show him my boobs if he wanted to see. The romper I had on was strapless, so all I had to do was yank it down. I remember having on a strapless bra, and showing him THAT, but no actual boobs. When we were 3 minutes from my house, I started to feel nauseous and incredibly sick. I knew right then and there, that I was going to have to vomit. “Pull the car over so I can throw up!” I said. Seconds later, he pulled over, got out the car, and watched me throw up. “It’s okay,” he said. “I’m just making sure you’re okay, and I’m here for you.” I’m sure the sober me would’ve thought that was really sweet, but the drunk me just wanted to get in bed. “I’m going to help you in the house,” he said carrying me to my door. I remember giving him my keys to unlock the door and he laid me on my bed. The next morning, I was so hungover, I had to call in. “How are you feeling?” He texted. “Like shit.” I replied. An hour later, he came by with soup and ginger ale. I was so fucking embarrassed! However, he genuinely didn’t care and was concerned about my health. Two years have passed since that night happened, and he STILL brings it up jokingly to this day. “You remember when you threw up in front of me? Ha ha ha!” I cringe so hard when I think about what I did remember from that night, and even harder at what I didn’t remember. I am glad that he respected me the whole time, but sometimes it still hard seeing him whenever I take my son to get his haircut. Ugh.