Finsub Explained: How to Find A Real One

In a world filled with sometimes gross inequality, the idea of having enough money to be a financial submissive (finsub) sounds like a real luxury. However, it’s a fact that many people love the idea of being a finsub. The problem for those looking for a finsub to dominate, though, is that many are either not genuine or not 100% committed. Where do you find a real finsub?

In this quick guide, we’ll give you the information you need to make sure you can find a suitable finsub who is actually committed to the full experience.

Finsub Meaning

As the name implies, a finsub is someone who becomes a financial submissive. Like other BDSM and dom-sub practices, the aim here is for the dominant party (you!) to dominate the submissive one. Yet the main difference here is that the main dominance isn’t sexual (though it can be) – it’s financial.

You are essentially dominating the person to spend their money on you, the things you want, and the requirements you demand. They get the kick out of the loss of power and control. However, to be a true finsub, you need money – and plenty of it. That’s why not all finsubs are seen as real or reliable. Many simply lack the funds to do so, or they fail to realise that this is a more serious commitment than, say, going to a dungeon or visiting a dominatrix for a ball-busting session.

Finding A Real Finsub: The Best Places To Look

Generally, if you are interested in meeting someone who is a real finsub and not a cosplayer, you have two places to look:

Dedicated Findom Websites

The best place to meet people who are genuinely into this kind of thing, though, is through a platform aimed directly at the finsub culture. The two best places are Findommeet and Alt.

FindomMeet.com - An olde findom dating site, it’s pretty popular in its niche.

Alt.com - The biggest BDSM dating site for doms and subs.

The Alt is obviously a bit more diverse; you’ll be likely to get messages from subs looking for someone to whip them or tell them they have a small penis, etc. – with FindomMeet, though, you are directly speaking to people who are interested, engaged, and likely have the means to see it through.

If you want the best chance of meeting a real finsub, this is the place to start. People who create a profile on Findommeet, in particular, are likely to be very clear about the rules of engagement and the cost of being a finsub.

Social Media Platforms

The first place most people start when looking for a finsub is social media. After all, social media today is rife with adult material; the days of it being hard to find sexual content via social media are long gone. Therefore, you should have little issue finding a potential finsub on social media pages.

Our recommendation would be to start with the two obvious places: Twitter and Reddit.

Twitter works as it has thousands of people on here, so there are plenty of proverbial fish in the sea. That said, Twitter for finsubs tends to be a bit of a crapshoot. Some will be genuine and really engaged with the idea of the finsub lifestyle. Others are time-wasters or all talk; you need to do a bit of digging into profiles before you really commit to a finsub you meet on Twitter.

Reddit is a bit more reliable, as people who are willing to go on chat rooms about this kind of stuff tend to be more into it. It’s like separating a diehard sports fan from a casual one. The casuals watch the news and highlights, while the ‘sickos’ are online discussing the minutiae of the latest game. Well, finsub life is no different; you’re less likely to find time-wasters on Reddit than on other comparable platforms.

Of course, you still need to do your vetting to ensure they have the means to see it through!

Local Niche Fetish Communities

Of course, you might also wish to keep things a little more local. This comes down to what is available in your area and how strong the scene is where you live. Some towns are very puritanical and thus may not have a strong BDSM or fetish scene. Others are hives for such sexual liberation, so you may find it easy to locate a local community.

Again, it’s just down to your luck; the best way to find these kinds of communities is through word of mouth. Check around for local bars and community locations where fetishists seem to gather, and do your digging through local social media channels. Ask friends in the scene for recommendations. It just comes down to how many people in your area are willing and capable of being a real finsub.

The larger the town and the more liberal the area, the more likely you are to meet people who can point you toward a genuine finsub.

What’s A “Real” Finsub?

There are three main types of finsub, generally:

1. Casuals, who have no genuine intention of making this stick long-term. It’s a short-term proposition that, while financially beneficial to the dominant party, isn’t sustainable.

2. Time-wasters who are ‘all fur coat and no knickers’ as they say. They are all talk, full of big ideas and talk, but can’t live up to the reality due to a lack of means or commitment.

3. Real finsubs, who are the people you want? They are consistent with the role, genuinely in a position to be a finsub from a material standpoint, and they are committed long-term.

So, how do you find yourself more of #3 and less of #1 and #2? Generally, you want to look for finsubs who are committed to the role. They have a genuine interest in financial submission; they want to share the wealth without having any say in how it happens. They should show an immediate willingness to play the role and to take instructions and agree to the rules you set out.

Lastly, they should be pretty clear that this is not a one-and-done or a once-in-a-blue-moon scenario. The best finsubs are those who are in it for the long haul and who are regularly available. If they seem to have a patchy schedule or show up only when it's convenient, they aren’t right for you.

What To Look Out For

The main attribute to look out for, though, is their desire to actually be submissive. Many like the sound of it, but when they see the cost involved – or they realise they might get sexual pleasure from the experience, at least not primarily – they may stop being quite so excited about the premise. Most of the time, these people would be better off hiring a more traditional sex worker.

Someone who is a real finsub is not in this for the sexual pleasure; they are here to lose control. The best real finsubs are people with highly demanding professions who spend all day making big, make-or-break decisions. When they get into their private life, they often want the total opposite. Other findoms are people who are well-off but aren’t really interested in a traditional relationship.

Most of the time, you will find that these are the kind of people who need to relinquish a bit of control. It should also be obvious that you need someone with genuine material wealth. Nothing quite kills the buzz of a finsub experience when the sub cannot afford what is asked of them. If that happens, at the very least, it should be temporary, and they should be willing to face the penalties accrued.

So, a real finsub is someone available, willing to play by the rules, and has material wealth. That should be a good starting point; at the very least, it should help you to avoid the one-off finsubs and those who either don’t quite get it or think there is a guarantee of sexual favours afterwards.

How to Attract Finsubs: Creating The Best Experience

If you want to make sure that your experience as a findom is worthwhile from an emotional and financial point of view, we recommend that you focus on the following:

Create A Clear, Distinct Identity

• The first thing you need to do is make it very clear who you are and what it is you do.

• When creating profiles, especially for larger findom communities, be explicit about yourself.

• Tell people what kind of style you go for; are you strict? Soft? Professional? Informal?

• Invest in your profile: a distinct visual identity and descriptors will be essential here

• With so much competition, try to find something that makes you stick out there

• That could be a very distinct way of dressing, talking, or dealing with your subs

• This is unique to the individual, but make sure your identity is 100% authentic

Use Psychology To Your Advantage

• If you seem just like any other findom, you won’t attract the kind of finsubs you truly want

• Showcase your authority and strength early on; that creates desire and weakens resolve

• Confidence is sexy; be 100% confident in your words, phrasing and especially actions

• Reject more finsubs than you accept; it makes those who ‘pass the test’ feel exclusive

• That also makes them more likely to stick around as they feel rewarded for submission

• Be consistent with how and when you engage; create a schedule that works for you

Set Clear Boundaries

• The finsub relationship only works when expectations are laid out clearly from day one

• When engaging with a potential finsub, communicate your expectations immediately

• Make it clear that you aren’t here to waste time or mess around; be direct about this

• Put timewasters and wait-and-see types off by laying out penalties for non-compliance

• Most casuals will avoid contacting you if they know messing around comes with a cost

• This should help to avoid attracting non-serious finsubs and help to keep you safe

• Lay the groundwork for what is permitted, forbidden, and what the rewards will be

Focus On Longevity

• It’s better to have one or two dedicated finsubs who continually pay you tribute

• Focus on creating a consistent relationship with a smaller group of finsubs

• That makes you more exclusive, but also heightens the quality of the gifts

• It’s better to have two dedicated finsubs than ten in-out losers, right?

• Reward loyalty and repeat engagement relative to your identity

• Be sure to retain continual connection and communication

• Ensure rewards are worth the money & effort; build trust

• Keep the dynamic consistent to avoid confusion or hurt

These four frameworks should help to ensure that you are much more likely to see genuine returns on your finsub experience. While it can be tough to develop these attributes all at once, it’s a gradual process. The more you can do the above, the more likely you are to create a profile that stands out and, crucially, attracts genuinely engaged finsubs who make all this effort worthwhile.

Good luck, stay safe, avoid time-wasters, and remind yourself regularly what you are worth to the world!