Engaged to a Ghost?

"What the fuck did I just read?" That was my first reaction upon reading the story about Amethyst Realm for the first time. Maybe someone spiked my afternoon tequila, perhaps it was one of the ghosts that apparently swirl around the woman from Bristol. Whatever the case is, this is the perfect story for Halloween!

Amethyst Realm wants everyone to know that she loves ghosts. Not only in the sense of being intrigued by them but also in the romantic sense. The way some love their partners or tequila. In fact, Realm claims to have made love to more than 20 ghosts since she was a teenager. Let that roll around in your head for a little bit. She's allegedly fucked 20 ghosts in 17 years (probably less than that since she's 30).

Why does this lady prefer a ghost mate to a human one? According to her, ghosts are simply better in bed. Here's what she has to say on the matter, “Ghost lovers tend to be more sensual and adept than the average bloke. There’s always more of a connection because the sex goes beyond physical. It’s like any other kind of sex. The main difference is I just can’t see them.” Nor can anyone else, so there's no telling who she is with. One captured her heart though.

After going on a hiking tour in Australia to get away from the stress of real life, Realm says that she found a ghost to have a fling with. Mind you, this is not what she set out to do. No. She just wanted to relax but why not have a good time with a man down under, if you have the chance? There is something about them that is very erotic. Actual men, not the ghosts. Realm disagrees with me and was sad when she had to leave her new lover to head home. Generally, that's how flings work though.

Except when the lover in question is a celestial being. Much to her surprise, her future husband was aboard her plane as she headed back to England. Apparently being on a plane makes the spirits horny because after she discovered that he was there for her, they had to make love in the bathroom. “I couldn’t believe it. I was happy and excited — so excited that we had to do something about it. So we headed to the plane loo, and, well, I am now a member of the Mile High Club.” So she's scoring on a plane, and some of us can't even get a pillow or WiFi. What's her secret? Cause there are millions of people, who want to know. Is it just having ghost sex?

No relationship is built upon sex alone. There are sarcastic comments, insults, and even mother-in-laws to battle. Oops, that's my NaNoWriMo project. But still, there is more to relationships than just doing the deed whenever you want. Are you reading this crush? He probably is, just to make fun of me. I see you. Back to Realm and her now boyfriend. They have been together for a while and have decided that it is time to kick their relationship up a notch.

That's right, Ghost proposed to her. My crush won't even make a move, but her Ghost bf proposed to her. Way to let a spirit beat you Crush! There is no bitterness. Realm explains how it worked out, “There was no going down on one knee — he doesn’t have knees. But for the first time, I heard him speak, I could actually hear his voice, and it was beautiful. Deep, sexy and real.” There should be a reminder that this is not satire. Everything that has been researched and checked shows that this is a real story.

The happy couple is now looking for her ring. Because her first name is Amethyst, she is hoping that the ring that her fiancé chooses has an amethyst in it. It doesn't get any less weird the more it's read. None of this story does.