Did He or Did He Not?

Houston, I think we have a rodent problem!

Did He or Did He Not?

Did you ever hear the story of the celebrity figure who got the gerbil lodged in their rectum?

Well, I hadn’t either until just a few nights ago. Late night television for me consists of feeding my face and watching the infamous series Family Guy. While watching this show, there was a scene where a hawk (Xerces) that Peter caught in his possession started pecking at Quagmire, Peter then quotes, “Hey what do you got going on down there Quagmire, you got a rodent situation?” Hysterically laughing goes my boyfriend, who doesn’t laugh at much. I didn’t quite understand why he thought it was so funny but I just had to know.

After doing research, I soon came to find out that actor Richard Gere was the topic of the subject. Yes, Richard Gere, the Pretty Woman and American Gigolo” actor! He has starred in many movies and has reached many hearts by being quite the humanitarian. Given the many beauties that have taken his personal life, you wouldn’t think that he would be caught in such an offensive story.

Here’s what is “supposed” to have happened:

Richard Gere was admitted to a hospital in L.A. to have surgery for removal of a suspicious object in his rectum. After further inspection, we soon come to find out that the object was, in fact, a gerbil. For most people, when a gerbil comes to mind, they think about cute little rodents that you get to play with when you’re lonely and/or need a friend. Yet that’s far from what I think was going on here! Although this has turned be inducted into the Hall of urban legends, this is one of the funniest rumors I’ve heard yet. It’s kind of was a story that “went viral” before going viral was even a term to be used.

According to Urban Dictionary, “Gerbilling is an imagined act, (obviously homophobic in origin) in which people (presumably gay men) engage in sexual thrills by inserting a live de-clawed gerbil into the anus of the other person (by the means of a tube). Urban legend asserts the frantic movement of the poor furry creature trying to escape causes sexual stimulation.” Who knew that this could even be a thing? Who comes up with these things? Why a gerbil? Poor creatures, didn’t even know that someone had tarnished their lovable demeanor.

Given that this is just a rumor, or so they say, the person who leaks this has yet to be proven. I’ve heard that maybe Sylvester Stallone was a suspect or even a Russian doctor who was sworn to secrecy had leaked a few insights but who really knows. Richard Gere does! While there is also no evidence stating that the term “Gerbilling” is even a thing, I do believe that everyone has tried something they're ashamed of even once. I’m not saying that Mr. Gere actually engaged in the humorous but if he was I say congrats to a very brave being, LOL.

Although this story is set to be a classic, Gere isn’t the only one to be targeted. According to thoughtco.com, a Philadelphia television news anchor had the same rumor that speculated for some time also. Who knows—maybe in a few years this will become a real thing, ha-ha. Okay, I’m just joking! Let’s hope that society doesn’t go overboard.

After watching the same episode a few days later I can say that now after knowing this story, I couldn’t help but laugh as hysterically as my boyfriend did the first time. Leave it up to the family to bring this topic up in discussion!

Just remember if you’re ever in a pretty tight situation, at least you’re not a gerbil!

pop culturecomedy
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Jelissa Lewis

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