I’ve mentioned blindfolds a few times already. Blindfolds can be brought into pretty much all types of play. They heighten the other senses, create suspense, and help to create that erotic atmosphere. They also don’t have to be expensive.
Ideas for blindfolds:
- A scarf
- A sleep mask
- Utilise your partner's clothing by pulling it over their head.
- A tie
- A traditional blindfold (still fairly cheap to buy)
- Luxury material
I’m sure you can come up with many more ideas. Personally, I use a purposely brought blindfold, its red and black to tie in with the erotic/sensual atmosphere. Mine also feels silky on the inside to heighten senses and give that added feeling of luxury.
Blindfolds can be used in foreplay, impact play, electro-play, used with restraint, during teasing, as well as during sex.
Ensure that you check on the position of the blindfold, if it slips during play you need to make sure that it can be removed to prevent harm. Also never leave a blindfolded partner/sub unattended. This is the same as with restraints, I will cover this in more depth in another post. Communicate with your partner and ensure they are ok with what you are doing whilst blindfolded, light sensation type play is normally ok, but it is particularly important to use safe words when involving impact play or painful stimuli.
Gags can be used in BDSM in order to show control or to add to restraint.
There are different types of gags available:
The classic ball gag: Exactly what it says on the tin. A ball used as a gag. These are solid balls attached to a harness which goes around the head. They restrict the submissive's ability to talk and create the feeling of control. These should be fairly safe as the ball is attached to the harness... however as with all forms of restraint, a submissive should never be left alone whilst wearing a ball gag.
The air-holed ball gag: Same principle as the classic ball gag, however there are added holes through the ball to help the submissive to breathe.
The open mouth gag: This is my favourite type of gag because it displays control. The submissive will still be restricted in talking. There are further options for play as you can fit an average sized cock through the ring. Or maybe pour champagne into the submissive's mouths... use your imagination. But also, it is relatively safe to use as the gag itself does not block the airway.
The homemade gag: Be especially careful if using something homemade as a gag (i.e. a scarf). It is still important to ensure the submissive is safe and can breathe to avoid any mishaps. Never force an item deep into the mouth to avoid blocking the airway completely.
Safe words are an essential part to BDSM play, it is a way to ensure that the submissive is safe and also to find boundaries.
Most common theme to hear is a traffic light system being used:
- Green: Everything is ok, it is quite enjoyable, I would like more, I can take more, etc.
- Amber: You are approaching limits; don’t go any harder.
- Red: Stop immediately.
If the word red is spoken at any time, then play must stop and the dominant should go into aftercare mode, make sure the submissive is ok and provide whatever support is needed.
This is pretty self explanatory and a very safe way to play. Other words can be used, but these should be clarified before play starts.
I've just added this in here as there's not enough to make it a stand alone post, but safe words should really be applied to all aspects of sex.