Bisexuality

As I start to write this, I am not bi-sexual myself but my loving wife is. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with this. Bi-sexual lovers can offer a level of intimacy and cognitive understanding that can be greater in many aspects that any relationship has to offer.

I would like to draw upon a quote written by Robin Ochs on 4th May 2021, an American Sexual activist, who wrote:

'I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted — romantically and/or sexually — to people of more than one sex and/or gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree.'

So if you’re a woman in a monogamous relationship with a man, does that mean you’re not bisexual anymore? - making the person think that they are not 'bi enough?'

Surely a ridiculous & non-sensical phrase?

Becca Stickler wrote in 'Teen Vogue', September 23rd, 2020 that 'if you’re attracted to people of more than one gender, you can identify as bisexual,' (after she had attempted finding further information on this via Reddit’s r/bisexual subreddit.) There are simply no benchmarks relating to the term, 'bi-enough.'

There has always been an in-built mechanism in society to make up silly phrases with little or no meaning to back them up, it simply seems to give society a reason for something when they cannot rationalize their own thoughts, to pacify their internal thoughts on a matter. But I am not going any further with this, because Psychology is a whole different topic, that I am not getting into right now.

It is very possible that you just do not have sexual feelings for a woman when married to a man now, but you do still strongly experience romantic attractions to women.

Let's Talk about Sex.

Particular songs with emotional, true-to-life lyrics, can (and do) have a very powerful effect on your mind - it is able to take you back through the emotive power of your brain. (ok, so chocolate has the same effect on me too, but again that is another story too.) The following song is ringing through my head right now because of this subtitle - let's talk about sex.

Please take a read of my article relating to the power of music in the link below at:

https://vocal.media/psyche/the-power-of-music-iw1xwo0xm2

Written by Salt-N-Pepa and performed on 23rd November 2009. The Island Def Jam Music Group.

The Office of National Statistics (ONS) released its latest data on sexual identities in the UK (2018) compiling bisexuality showing there were an estimated 1.2 million people aged 16 years and over, identifying as Lesbian, Gay, or Bisexual (LGB.)

On the subject of the subtitle, sex in itself has much more scope with the interaction of 'dirty talk' within foreplay. One partner identifying as bisexual and the other partner being heterosexual allows for the bisexual partner to 'play out' her strong feelings for other women when actually having sex - most particularly within self-masturbation, and when their own clit, breasts, and swelling nipples are being imagined being rubbed and massaged by the other woman, letting erotic role-play of another woman play within her, and letting her fantasize strongly with her willing and turned-on partner. This action of erotic role-play in sex can have overwhelming, intense build-ups & release, giving rise to enjoyable orgasms for both sexual partners. And this whole role-play activity certainly gives rise to my own dick's performance (no pun intended) let me tell you!!

In a report by the University of Richmond Law Review (January 28th, 2018, 'The Invisible Minority: Discrimination Against Bisexuals in the Workplace, e-Vol. 3, Online) discrimination is more complex than being the “wrong” sex in contrast to their partner. Bisexual discrimination is often due to failure to conform to monosexuality, rather than the sex of a current or future partner.

The Equality Act 2010 states that you must not be discriminated against because you’re gay, lesbian, bisexual, or heterosexual. This is called discrimination because of sexual orientation and applies within any and all parts of society as it is today.

Interestingly it is also illegal to discriminate against you because of the sexual orientation of someone you may know, such as family or friends, rather than because of your own sexual orientation. This is known as discrimination by association. you are believed to be of a particular sexual orientation, even, when you are not. As the author of this article, I am acutely aware, from both a professional & personal experience, just how rife this type of discrimination is.

The Mental Wellbeing of Sex the two are very closely linked at the hip (so to speak)

-- Depression can increase your sex drive simply put because the sexual act actually reduces symptoms of anxiety and depression. How? Because the body manages to help here by releasing chemicals such as, dopamine, endorphins, and oxytocin which can boost mood, increase compassion, and help you bond with your partner. While the levels of those chemicals increase with sex, the level of cortisol, the primary stress hormone, also lowers during sex.

--Masturbation can improve mental health/self-esteem but is still very much viewed as a 'taboo' subject around the world even today. It is both a natural, pleasurable activity that can help boost self-esteem and help a person explore their sexuality (alone in private or with your partner.) In the 1800s it was believed that masturbation was 'bad' and that it actually harmed your mental health (not clung to nowadays thankfully.)

-- Sex can ease anxiety symptoms. The thought or the act of sex releases adrenaline, which mainly comes from the adrenal glands, located just above your kidneys. This fight or flight hormone can assist you in your sexual perfomance but it can too easily have an adverse effect on it. The adverse effects of adrenaline can affect your 'performance,' so to speak. Too many obsessions with the following thoughts crossing the minds of each other, such as,

-- Are my breasts too flat, fat or floppy?

-- Is my dick/clit, too ugly?

-- Do I the smell?

-- Will sex with him hurt me?

-- What if I can't come?

-- Will I be able to get an erection?

-- Can I get that condom on, will it split or fall off?

-- Will I come too soon?

-- Will he/she laugh at me?

I will leave the reader to think about who thinks what (but the truth is, it could be any sexual partner) albeit within a heterosexual or a bisexual relationship or both. But the simple point of this is that overproduction of adrenaline can damage your blood vessels and increase levels of anxiety too.

So that leaves me with one BIG question now:

Why is there so much stigma out there revolving around sex & activities, and the varied levels of Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Transsexual, and Queer communities (LGBTQ.) Mixed relationships where one partner is heterosexual, and the other is bisexual ( as I have mentioned earlier) in terms of foreplay and 'dirty talk' within role-playing, most certainly adds considerable scope to the excitement and 'buzz' of having a 'jolly good fuck.'

There is no shame within of this - it is time that the 'prudish' ones kept their thoughts and beliefs on the subject to themselves - until they educate themselves and COME OUT OF THE CLOSET.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Please read and click the heart after reading. Anyone choosing to tip me, well, thank you so much for your generosity and kindness shown by this - hearts are great but tips help me succeed and do better but remember they are not obligatory.

More of my articles can be found at: https://vocal.media/authors/jonathan-townend

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