Ask Wendy: About BDS&M

I am intrigued by BDS&M upon inventing my sex toy and going into the underground world of all things sexual and erotic. Having the perception that only hardcore, biker types were involved in this fascinating underworld that I have arrived in, I was presently surprised by the mundane types that participate in this lifestyle. From every walk of life, every shape and size, sexual orientation, and occupation, the BDS&M lifestyle community comes from. Some actors are hardcore, some enjoy a softer approach, and some people live it 24/7. For those not yet exposed to the mental aspect of this fetish, www.fetlife.com is an amazing resource to learn more about it.

Intrigued by the metal objects I sold, many products are actual medical devices. Yet other products are actually specifically designed not for the faint of heart, but for those that enjoy the endorphine release when slapped, smacked, hit, whipped, tied up, experienced fire, or flogged. Before I entered the scene I thought, “no way, that’s not happening to me!” Now, however, I have emerged with a more unique sense of what is trying to be accomplished. According to Ross (2012) the whole BDS&M community are consensual adults trying to express themselves. Whether it be a subordinate or a dominant, their needs are to be met in a purely consensual way.

I have found out that since I have a sub there is a more emotional component to having a Dom/sub relationship. Don’t knock it till you try it!! Everything that is done is to be enjoyed by both parties, with one party having their needs fulfilled, mentally or physically, over another. I was pleased to be able to explore various dungeons and learned that I loved to be flogged and love to flog. Yes, you can enjoy both. I learned that I love to use a metal prostate massager, (use some lube for the newbies), loved to be blindfolded and blindfolding others, love to be teased and hurt in the process. It is actually fun but can hurt (oh, but in a good way). I have a low tolerance for pain, but still like some of the passion and uniqueness of all that comes with dungeons and BDS&M. After being flogged I often am so sweaty and hot. I guess there are a lot of endorphins being released after my little beating. Obviously, after flogging others it is apparent that I was into it as well. I love flogging the buttocks and groin area, the pressure gets my subs really aroused and excited. This is fun, consensual and not threatening, but refreshing.

So, the real question is, what side of the equation do you fall into? Being a Dom, a sub or a combination of both? Try both, you may be surprised that you enjoy the best of both worlds. I guess that is the subject of another conversation. Bisexual, heteroflexible. Just in it for fun? Keep an open mind. They all can be fun. And please remember rule #1: Don’t judge.

So, keep on BDS&M community, keep the fetishes going with the style that you love to pursue. If it is consensual, safe, and unique, that is what is great! Visit our on-line store for unique metal objects to create and maintain that spark of desire. https://www.teddyloveadulttoys.com

Reference

Ross, A. D. (2012). Revisiting the body in pain: The rhetoric of modern masochism. Sexuality & Culture, 16(3), 230-240. doi:http://dx.doi.org/10.1007/s12119-011-9121-2