Are Nudist Hosts on Couchsurfing Looking for Sex?

(The information regarding concerned people's identities and where they live has been changed to protect their privacy.)

Couchsurfing.com has been a popular platform where travelers can find free accommodation, accompanied by valuable cultural exchanges. Drawing on these two selling points, the community seems to condemn the users who try to use it as a dating website.

I don’t have opinions on the people who have sex with their hosts or guest. If they both/all consent to having some fun, and agree on some rules, then it is the business between them. With that being said, it doesn’t mean I intend to use Couchsurfing to have fun – at least in the beginning.

My first encounter with a Couchsurfing host was in 2011, and I was an active Couchsurfer until 2014. I stopped doing it because I somehow became less social; I felt it would be easier and more flexible to stay in a hostel. Yes, one might need to be social in a hostel, but it is not mandatory. By contrast, people must interact to various extents with their hosts during their stay.

My experiences with nudist hosts

In the summer of 2020, I decided to resume Couchsurfing because I was really sick of the isolation caused by Covid 19 crisis. Since then, I have become quite active on Couchsurfing again. But this time, I have a different strategy when sampling potential hosts: I try to stay with gay (or at least gay-friendly) nudists as possible as I can. Since I am not a talkative or social person, I feel that it would be better if I could stay with LGBTQ fellows. In that way, perhaps we will have more things in common, and thus I can be more relaxing. As for nudism, it is not intended to have sexual encounters but to learn to love my body more and hopefully get more confidence. Besides, I enjoy being naked at home since it is really comfortable, especially during hot summer.

The journey had a nice and non-sexual start. But it then took a U-turn already at the second stop. I was hosted by a French-Vietnamese German nudist couple in Berlin. At first, it was just like the routine of a random Couchsurfing experience: eating together, sharing traveling experiences, watching movies, and so on. But I noticed that the French guy kept touching my arm and back. Well, I knew they were in an open relationship, so I thought he was just being nice and trying to make me relax. When I was about to sleep, the French found me on Gay Romeo and wrote to me, saying that he would love to cuddle with me but didn't know if I wanted to since I didn't respond to his touching. He was a very nice and handsome man, plus I did not have fun for quite a while, so I crossed the line and took the invitation. It was an unexpected yet amazing night.

The experience with this couple didn't change my expectations from nudist hosts since I believed it was just a happy exception. Neither did it alter my intention of prioritizing social nudism over sexual intimacy. However, some of the hosts after them showed that erotic adventures were indeed expected! For instance, some were so straightforward that they simply exposed their hard-on and molested themselves, asking if I wanted to suck them.

Most of the horny hosts were polite and would respect me if I showed no sign of interest. But, of course, there was always something uncomfortable occurring. In Rostock, I shared a bed with my host. During the night, he put his hand on my private part. What is worse, he snored and obviously had a nightmare, so he crunched my penis a little bit from time to time; it took me a while to get his hand out of my body. In another case, I shared the bed (again) with the host in Warsaw, and he woke me up during the night and wanted to have sex. He was cute, but the whole situation was really weird – he was apparently high – not to mention I was too tired to have fun. So I made a compromise and gave him a hand job.

Should you be concerned?

So, should a non-nudist traveler be concerned with the nudist hosts on Couchsurfing? I saw this question being asked from time to time on the internet. I mean, from my experiences, some hosts would absolutely make the move in hopes of getting laid. Nevertheless, the majority of the nudist hosts were awesome and didn't show even a tiny sign of seduction; they were just like the average hosts without clothes. Moreover, it has more to do with the person, not the nudity. With or Without clothes, a host who always seizes the chances to have fun will do something no matter what.

So, I would not say that one must be highly concerned. But if you have a zero-tolerance policy for physical intimacy, you should be cautious and do some investigations before contacting anyone. Here are some strategies I can think of that might be helpful to avoid awkward moments:

1. Check the groups the hosts are in

Sometimes, the groups may say something about the hosts. For example, if the hosts are in a group called "kinky couch surfers," it is likely that they are open to all kinds of possibilities. (I have even seen something called "Masculine men for Boyish type young men.") But, to be clear, I am not saying that the men in these alternative groups will always do something to their guests. On the contrary, my point is that it might provide some hints (which means they could be wrong), but your final decision should also be based on other clues.

2. Contact the hosts with positive references

It is a universal rule not only on Couchsurfing but also on other platforms such as Airbnb. So check the references and read as many as possible.

3. Contact the people who left the references

However, following suggestion no. 2, there is a chance that the hosts with a lot of positive references will still do something strange. It is partly because most users tend to leave positive comments to avoid meaningless fighting and annoying backlash. They would give negative feedback only if their experiences were extremely awful. Hence, if you are worried, you can contact the people who left the references and seek advice from them.

The bonus I've gained

Of course, hot sex with a hot nudist host is the bonus. But, I would say that making friends and connections is the real prize for me. For example, I became close friends with that open-relationship couple not long after I resettled myself in Berlin from Frankfurt. They not only introduced their friends to me but also helped me enjoy the amazing yet crazy LGBTQ life in Berlin; they really changed my world! I also stay in touch with a few hosts without benefits. Whenever I get their messages on Whatsapp or Instagram, I feel that I am not alone in a world where genuine equality is still a long way to go.

So far, my experiences with the gay nudist hosts are positive. But perhaps I am just lucky. Hence, hopefully, I will constantly meet the kind of hosts that enrich and illuminate my life.