A Bitter End

My mother and I argued and fought almost every day and about everything. There was almost nothing we could agree on. As I got older, she wanted to hand me more responsibilities and I felt like if it wasn’t something, I created to be responsible for I was NOT doing it. I thought she would at least have a boyfriend by now with her and my dad being divorced so long. Yesterday I woke up and decided from this day on I was going to live my life to the fullest; doing what I wanted; when I wanted and how I wanted. I plan to work smart not hard. My mom always told me that the world may look good through the window but it’s not all its crack up to be, but I got my own agenda.

I never knew my life would be the way it is now. I started out on the right track; I went to school every day, well I ditched sometimes but I did my work. I was popular, on the cheerleading team and hung out with all the popular jocks. Everyone knew my name even those I had no contact with. My mother was strict; she tried her best to keep me on the straight and narrow, but it was too many of us for her to pay attention to everything. I did my own thing though. My senior year is when I seemed to be even more rebellious. I didn’t come in at curfew. I started smoking weed every day and popping pills wherever I just needed the extra high behind all the other madness. I was falling behind and failing classes. Just seemed to be a downward spiral. I didn’t see things this way though. I was living life.

My mother was pissed that I began to act this way and hang out with all the wrong people. When she heard about what happened with my best friend Sasha, she really tried to stay on me, but she still had to work so she couldn’t see or stop everything. She really hated my high school boyfriend Lil’ Man his real name is Darnell. She didn’t understand, but my famous line became, she’ll be alright. I really had a lot going on and sometimes I just wanted to run away but I know the problems would only follow me. I didn’t graduate with my senior class; I had to go to summer school. I feel like she should be happy at least I did graduate. Seems like everybody went their separate ways after graduation. I know Keith went away on a four-year scholarship to play football. Darnell graduated but he fell hard to the streets. Sasha went away to Alabama for college on a scholarship. I heard Stacey got a four-year scholarship too, but I don’t know where he decided to go to school. Yeah, I know I let a couple days of passion or rough sex control the future of a lifelong friendship. Life goes on and you can’t really dwell on the past.

Darnell and I must have split up for a year after the whole thing with Keith. I mean this nigga really flipped out. He wouldn’t even talk to me and I just stopped seeing him around after a while. I had heard a couple times he was locked up but who the hell knows. I had a hard-enough time keeping up with myself, so trying to figure out what other people was doing and where was asking for a miracle of 53rd street. It may sound harsh but so true.

I was on my way home from work on day and heard this familiar voice calling my name. I turned to see who it was, and there he was all swole a shit. I didn’t act all thirsty and shit I stood there waiting on him to make a move and come over to me.

“What’s up lil lady? I haven’t seen you in a minute.” Darnell asked?

“Nothing been working that’s it.” I responded as he began to walk towards me.

“Damn, I can’t get a hug or nothing.” he said stretching out to me.

So, I reached in giving him a hug and oh my god did he smell good. His big ass arms around me, I wanted to just get naked right there, but I didn’t. I had to gain my thoughts we weren’t in high school anymore so I couldn’t get all silly and shit.

“So where have you been, I haven’t seen you in a minute” I asked?

“Well, if you must know or haven’t heard I been locked up for the last eight months, I just got home yesterday.” He explained.

“Oh ok,” I said.

“Man don’t act like you don’t miss me. Okay how about I take you out for dinner later? Or will you be busy?” he asked.

“No, I’m not busy just call me later.” I said as I walked away.

“How am I supposed to call I don’t have the number.” He asked?

“Nothing has changed Lil’ Man, you know where I’ll be.” I assured him.

“Oh yeah sorry lil’ mama I don’t go by that name anymore its D.” He said.

We went our separate ways and all I could think about is if he has changed since high school and what did I just get myself into.

So yeah, we went out for dinner a few times and had a nice time. Something he never did before. Maybe there has been a change in him since then. We continue this dating thing for a couple months and even the sex was different. He never like tried to pressure or pushes the sex issue. Made me wonder if he is being locked up turned him gay or was, he really a changed person.

Darnell turned out to be a real Casanova, a charmer something that I couldn’t say he was before. He bought me all the latest and greatest things; he did everything for me and took me to the finest places. I never wanted or needed for anything when I was with him. So, we both decided I didn’t need to work. We were an item again; he made it official and made sure everyone knew I was his lady. This wasn’t no high school shit either we were grown as hell. Yeah Darnell was my man once again. At least that’s what I thought, and this was just the beginning. Things did start to change after a while, and he began to get demanding, but this was just part of his personality. We started to have sex a lot, at least four days a week. He had the biggest house four bedrooms and two bathrooms. I stayed at his house most of the time. I was home maybe twice out the week, but I would only go there just to get clothes if I needed. When I was home this was the time my mother took to tell me what a bad person Darnell was and how he wasn’t good for me then and not now. Just the same as high school.

“Tracey, I’m telling you, you need to leave that man alone, I just don’t have a good feeling when you’re with him. “My mom said.

“Momma look, I love him, and he treats me like a queen, can’t you see that I am happy. Why can’t you just let me live my life and be happy for me.” I replied.

“You might not listen to me now, but you’ll come to me later crying. Baby I just want you to be safe.” She said.

“Mom I love you and trust me Darnell is really taking care of me. I got to go he is blowing, and he doesn’t like it when I make him wait, I’ll call you later ma.” I said running out the door.

I walked out to the car and I knew she was watching from the window. I got in the car and reached over to kiss Darnell, but he pulled back.

“What the hell were you doing? You knew I was coming you should’ve had your ass outside waiting!” He said angrily.

“Baby, I’m sorry but you know how my mom is she wouldn’t stop talking.” I tried to explain.

“Don’t let it happen again.” He said as he pulled off.

I can tell when he had a bad day because he gets very distant and doesn’t talk to me much. But today for some reason was very different than any other. He didn’t try holding my hand or anything he was silent the whole ride. As we were approaching the house, I could see cars parked out front. Now I really didn’t understand because if he has company, he would at least let me know beforehand or tell me to dress a certain way. Once Darnell parked, I asked “Baby, you have a party or something?” He totally ignored my question. This time I was totally clueless, I don’t know if it was the pill I popped earlier or what, but this man had me in suspense.

When we got inside the house there were people everywhere, so I just walked into the bedroom with him following behind me. I turned to him and asked again.

“Are you having a party or something?” I asked.

“No, not really but I need you to get dressed; I have people I want you to meet. I got everything laid out for you in the bathroom, so put it on.” He said kissing me on the cheek as he was leaving the room.

He turned and said, “I’ll come back for you when I’m ready.”

He walked out the room closing the door behind; I started to get excited even though he mentioned nothing to me in the car. I thought I had really done something to piss him off. I think his ass is bi polar or something because he changes like the weather. This had to be something special because he never introduced me to his friends like this especially new people. I don’t know what he got planned but I was ready.

Little did I know he really had plans for me, and this is when it all started? Darnell came back into the room and handed me a drink.

“Here baby drink this it will help you relax.” He said.

I didn’t ask any questions I knew he loved me and wouldn’t do anything to hurt me. I took the glass and began to sip on the drink until the glass was empty. As he grabbed me by the hand, I began to feel relaxed and I mean really relaxed. We then went down stairs, the music was playing, and people were dancing. There were other girls there that I had seen a few times, but I didn’t’ know them like they knew me.

We walked over and he introduced me to this guy name Mike, Darnell then whispered in my ear “Show Mike a good time.” Mike then grabbed me by the hand, and we started dancing. I really didn’t think anything of it, but I do know that I had maybe two or three more drink before long. Before I knew anything, Mike had me in the bathroom bent over the sink fucking me like crazy. I mean what is this, I didn’t scream or anything. Whatever I had drunk had me out of it. Once he finished, he opened the door and Darnell came in. Mike and Darnell shook hand with an exchange and Mike left the bathroom. Darnell closed the bathroom door, stood there looking me in the face.

“You okay?” He asked.

“What do you mean what just…?” I began to ask.

“Next time will be better; this was your first time. You did good, now get cleaned up.” He said kissing me on the forehead as he left the bathroom.

I mean I was really gone. I don’t know what I had but this wasn’t it… It appears the night was just getting started. The bathroom door opened again.

Darnell walked in and I thought he was coming in to check on me. I was so loose and out of control all I wanted to do was get out of that bathroom.

“Look someone else is coming in here don’t embarrass me.” He said as he opened the door.

This tall dark-skinned man walked into the bathroom, but this time Darnell stayed to watch the show. I was sitting on the toilet and the guy came over dropping his pants to his knees. I looked up at Darnell with a look of resentment.

“What are you waiting for?” He asked.

I couldn’t believe this, Darnell was serious and very high off something. This is something I never even expected. Maybe because he came to get me after work, and this was work for him. I felt so ashamed and stupid. Thinking at the same time my mother was right and I should’ve listened. Before I knew it, Darnell pushed my head forward toward this man. I could do nothing but as I was told. I was scared and so out of it I couldn’t even think straight. I started sucking his dick like nobody’s business and he moaned, pulling my hair guiding my head to give him more pleasure.

Darnell was watching and stroking his dick moaning like he was ready for some action too. I guess I thought to soon Darnell then pulled his pants down. The guy moved over so I could do them both. I took turns pleasing them both as the tears began to fall Darnell and his friend were both moaning and stroking. It seemed like they were racing to see who would cum first. I don’t know if I was crying in embarrassment or hurt at the fact that I have become one of his whores. Just then his friend began to moan even louder as he started to release Darnell raised his hand and hit me. I fell to the floor covering my face. The guy then pulled up his pants, exchanging hands with Darnell then left the bathroom. This time Darnell opened his hand and I could see the money. He looked down at me as he counted.

“Damn, his tip was more than I charged.” He said as he grabbed me from the floor.

“Baby listen, I’m sorry, I was just jealous at how you were handling dude. I should have never done that to you I’m sorry baby. I am so sorry.” He said as he began to kiss my cheeks.

He slowly began to kiss me all over, well every place except my lips. He just kept saying how sorry he was, and it would never happen again. He then placed me on the bathroom floor and for the first time me gave me oral sex. I mean he ate my pussy like he did this shit for a living. I started crying again, emotions were everywhere. I know Darnell love me I think someone just slipped something in his drink. So many things are going through my head right now; I don’t know what to think about this madness that I have gotten into with Darnell and then what the hell would my mother think if she knew what was going on.

The next morning, I woke up alone, usually I am the first out of bed, but this morning Darnell wasn’t there. So, I went into the bathroom to shower and get cleaned up thinking maybe he is down stairs waiting for me. After my shower I wrapped in the big beach towel and walked downstairs to look for him. I started walking slower because I heard voices, I couldn’t make out words, but I knew Darnell was talking to someone.

“Tracey, come here.” He called. It was like he heard me breathing or something. So, I proceeded to walk into the dining area and noticed him sitting there with Mike, the guy from last night.

“You remember Mike, don’t you?” He asked

“Not really.” I said but I knew what he did but not who he was. Then Darnell patted the couch so I could sit next to him.

“Well, Mike here is a good friend of mine and he came over because he really enjoyed you last night. So, I want you to take Mike downstairs to the Red room, you know what to do.” Darnell said seriously.

I was just at a loss for words because I thought last night was a dream. I mean I had a look on my face of hurt and confusion.

“Darnell, you want me to do what?” I asked.

“Mike, listen the room is the first door on the left, she will be down in a second.” He said to his friend.

Mike got up and walked towards the stairs, he had the biggest grin on his face, and I was just in shock that Darnell thought or is thinking that I am going to have sex with dude.

“Darnell, I don’t know what you are doing, or why you are even acting like this, but I am not one of these little hookers you had here last night. I am supposed to be your girl not everybody else’s.” I said angrily.

Before I knew it, he hands went across my face. “Listen, I run this shit and you gon’ do whatever I say whenever I say. These other trick ass bitches ain’t cutting’ it no mo and you gon’ pick up the slack. After the shit you pulled on me back in the day you belong to me now.” He said.

I didn’t know what to do. He’s talking, screaming and I’m crying. “Look, Tracey you have one option, to get down there and take care of business, baby if you love me you would be willing to do anything for me. This is to benefit both of us, don’t you understand. I loss so much when I got locked up and you helping me get us where we need to be.” He said staring me in the eyes.

He began to wipe my tears and kiss my cheeks, as he whispered, I love you in my ear all I could think about is last night.

I asked him for a pill to help me to relax; he reached over to the table to give me a glass of wine. I drank it and of course I started feeling began. I kissed him and went down stairs. I never had thoughts things would end up like this. But in the back of my mind I knew Darnell loved me. But as I walked into the Red room I didn’t’ see Mike, so I walked in with a sign of relief, as I closed the door there, he was standing behind it naked and ready. He then pushed the door closed.

“Baby I been dreaming about that ass all night, I hope you ready.” Mike said with a grin on his face.

He didn’t give me and chance to drop the towel he snatched it off, grabbing me kissing my neck, moaning and rubbing me. I didn’t respond or anything. Then the door opened it was Darnell.

“Man, she is acting all scared and shit, I didn’t pay for this bitch to be looking at me.” He said to Darnell.

“Man listen, I got too much money invested in you, and you better work.” He said grabbing me by my hair.

He grabbed me pushing me to my knees and then the moaning began. I just did it. I started sucking his dick and stroking him. I just didn’t want to be hit anymore. The only thing that was going through my head was I am leaving, let me do what I must do to make it through this torture, and I am leaving him. I guess Mike was too excited because before I knew it, he was pulling out my mouth and began to cum all over my chest.

“Damn D you got to let me hit that shit.” He told Darnell.

“Man, you got to pay to play you know the deal.” Darnell replied.

Mike then bent me over and really started fucking me, I mean he was rough. I guess Darnell thought I was screaming because he was making me feel good, so he decides to pull his dick out and get in on the action. I don’t remember how long this madness lasted I just remember Darnell waking me up to go out. I don’t know how I ended up in the bedroom, all I know is my head was banging.

“Get up Tracey, we got to go.” Darnell said.

“Darnell, I think we need to talk.” I said to him.

“Look I don’t have time for your shit man, Imma drop you at your moms and come and pick you up later.” He said walking away.

I kept talking as I got up to put on my clothes. “Darnell, I don’t like what have been going on and I think its best that I just stay at my mother’s house.” I said to him.

At first, he just stood there and looked at me like I was crazy or something. “Bitch please, you belong to me now so don’t even get stupid thoughts in your head. I take care of you, I make sure you eat and have clothes on your back.” He said pointing in my face.

“I thought we were in a relationship, I thought you loved me and see you don’t and we’re not.” I said as I began to cry.

“Look I love you, but I love money even more. These hoes just ain’t cutting it and you’re just another hoe to make my money.” He said.

“I’m going home!” I screamed. Before I know it, he slapped me, I started crying hysterically holding my face.

“I don’t know what your problem is or who you think you are talking to, but I will kill you before you leave me. You fucked me over once before, but I refuse to let you get away again...” He said with his hands around my neck.

He then pushed me off the bed onto the floor. I didn’t say anything just laid there crying. I was scared because I thought he was going to hurt me. This was the first time he had ever done this. I don’t know what had gotten into him this weekend. I thought maybe someone slipped something in his drink, but this was getting scarier by the minute. Yeah, this man had me scared shitless. Instead of taking me to my mom’s house he made me stay home. I guess he knew my mom would be trying to convince me to talk to her and tell her what was going on and god knows I don’t need her in this mess. I just stayed in the room crying wondering what I had done to deserve this treatment. I sat there thinking about all the times my mother told me to come home and I didn’t listen.

After a while I went in the bathroom and cleaned myself up. I figured maybe if I showered and changed clothes, pin my hair up Darnell would appreciate me and stop this foolishness. Later, that day he did come in apologizing for everything bringing me a dozen red roses and took me on a little shopping spree. This is how it all began, this man was pimpin me hard.

After a couple months I realized that I was different from the other girls. They would be out tricking all night only to bring Darnell the money or leave it with me. Even though a lot of his friends or customers request me Darnell wouldn’t let me just be with anyone, he did love me enough not to just dish me out to every Tom, Dick and Bo Diddle. I just stopped trying to leave because Darnell was right, he did everything for me, and I was benefiting from this thing too. Maybe I was just too fucking high all the time to realize just how stupid I was for allowing this ignorance. I knew it wouldn’t last forever he just need me to get things back on track. He made sure I looked good and stayed healthy; I guess he did all this because he was fucking me too.

To be continued.....