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12 Ways to Boost Your Bedroom Confidence

by Patricia Sarkar 2 years ago in advice

Not feeling like the epic lover you should be? Here’s how to get your groove back and regain your confidence.

12 Ways to Boost Your Bedroom Confidence
Photo by Ömürden Cengiz on Unsplash

Sex is one of the very few acts that can boost your confidence, or cause it to crumble into dust. For most of us, when we’re naked in front of our partners, we get a little nervous at first. With pop culture making sex seem like a full-scale Hollywood production, it’s easy to feel a little insecure or overwhelmed when it’s time to get busy.

Have you been struggling with this issue for a while? You’re not alone! It’s normal to feel shy, maybe even a bit insecure about your ability to pleasure your partner. At times, you may also feel insecure because of changes to your body, an off-handed remark, or just being inexperienced in the ways of making love.

If you have just started to tackle your bedroom insecurities, it can seem like a daunting task. You might have taken time to browse upscale sex toys from companies like ZALO, or you may have started to address your body issues. You might even feel a bit lost as to how to improve your confidence at all.

Every person has a different path to confidence and self-acceptance, especially when it comes to the bedroom. If you’re unsure how to feel more at ease in bed, these methods can help you attain the confidence you need.

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

Have a very honest talk with your partner about how you feel, especially if you feel like your partner could be exacerbating your insecurities.

Have you been feeling low because of something your partner may have said or done? It’s not unheard of for an otherwise loving and supportive partner to accidentally say something that makes you feel insecure about your body or sex skills. If you feel they are unaware, it may be time to sit down and talk things out. Chances are, their negative behavior will stop pretty quickly.

Some songs just have a natural knack for releasing your inner sex fiend, and when you’re trying to get your groove back, they can be a serious weapon in your arsenal. Blast some Thievery Corporation or Morcheeba, and let the music move you into a more confident, sultry mood.

Take time to explore your body.

When was the last time you actually spent a moment touching yourself, feeling every curve of your body along your fingertips? Believe it or not, even just running your hands along your body is a great way to learn about yourself and gain confidence in the bedroom. It’s literally a way to (literally) get in touch with yourself.

Consider going to a sex therapist.

Sometimes, sexual insecurities and other bedroom-related issues are best handled with the guidance of a professional. If the problems you have been facing in bed are extreme, it may be wise to call a sex therapist to help you regain confidence and embrace your sexuality. Their understanding, non-judgemental advice can help you when more traditional methods can’t.

Gifting yourself a couple of multi-purpose personal massagers, such as ZALO’s Queen model, can be a good way to get a handle on what you enjoy feeling. Since ZALO’s Queen massager has both a clitoral extension and a G-spot massager, you can alternate to find out which sensation works best for you.

Talk yourself up, even if it’s just to yourself in the mirror.

Believe it or not, many of the most confident people you know practice the art of tooting their own horn. Go ahead, compliment your butt. Tell yourself you rock. It helps more than you’d expect.

Start dieting, primping, and exercising.

One of the most common sources of performance insecurity is feeling flabby and out of shape. You’d be surprised at how much hitting the gym can make an impact on your self-esteem and more. Give dieting, exercise, and maybe a wardrobe change a try. When you look better in your favorite lingerie, you’ll feel better about how you look in bed.

Give roleplaying a shot.

There might be something to the old adage, “Fake it till you make it!” Roleplaying is the ultimate example of this concept coming to life in a sexy way. The cool thing about roleplaying in bed is that you can be anyone you want to be. You can be the sexy maid, the powerful military sergeant, or even that one sexy cheerleader you always envied.

It’s also an amazing way to build confidence in yourself without actually being yourself. Many otherwise shy people turn into total vixens and Cassanovas when they take on an alter ego in bed.

Try at least one or two sexual things you’ve never done before.

Going out of your comfort zone is the easiest way to gain confidence in the bedroom—or anywhere else, really. By pushing your limits, things that would have been considered way too wild earlier suddenly become easier to do.

You don’t have to do much to break out of your comfort zone. Just trying one or two new kinks every month can do wonders. Even doing something relatively tame, like using couples’ sex toys or doing it with the lights on, can help you widen your horizons and give you more confidence in your skills.

Learn to embrace the use of sex toys in the bedroom.

For some reason, a lot of people tend to assume that the use of sex toys is an admission of failure in the bedroom—when in reality, it’s actually a sign that you’re taking a step in the right direction.

Sex toys are there to help you and make your good sex skills even better. Massagers can penetrate deeper, vibrate, and also just reach places fingers and tongues can’t reach. They are meant to be used alongside your natural talents, and actually magnify your skills. Embrace their use, and you’ll feel a lot better about your love life.

The easiest way to become more confident in any skill you have is to learn more about that skill. That’s why studying for an exam makes you more confident about passing it. That same confidence boost you get from a better-learned skill is why reading up on sex and learning to use sex toys like the ones from ZALO can help you feel more like the seductive person you really are.

Finally, relax.

This may seem easier said than done, but bear with us. Relaxing about your love life means that you will eventually realize that sex doesn’t have to be perfect. Once in a while, there will be slip-ups, but that’s actually part of the fun. As long as you can laugh the awkward stuff off, you will be able to be more confident, happier, and better in bed.

Patricia Sarkar
Patricia Sarkar
Read next: A Night at the Theatre
Patricia Sarkar

Raised on a steady diet of makeup and games. Eager to share my experiences with the world and make a difference, article by article! :)

See all posts by Patricia Sarkar