Who Are You When Alone?

I remember being asked to prepare a speech on “Who am I?” by our English teacher. I remember exactly how I sat, chin in hand, wondering about the answer. It wasn’t that I didn’t know myself; it was the struggle of choosing which version of “me” to write about. I am different with different people. It took me time to realize that my favorite version of “me” is the one that comes out when no one’s around, when my actions aren’t being captured.

Aren’t we different when nobody’s watching? When no eyes are judging us? Our walk, tone, expressions, and dressing—everything that defines our personality—changes in the blink of an eye. We laugh like hyenas, sing our lungs out in the shower, and dance like mad. Those beautiful, rather strange, parts of our personalities ooze out only when we’re alone.

But maybe there’s something more to this solitude, something deep, something difficult to put into words.

You know, we all have evil parts within us, dark corners alive and secret passageways that breathe inside our bodies. When no one’s around, we may become selfish or wish ill on our enemies. We let out all those buried emotions. We end up revealing the unrevealable.

But maybe there’s kindness within us too. When no one’s watching, we still smile at the beggar with love, we still return the money dropped from a stranger’s pocket, and we still try to be the best version of ourselves.

We are the dark secrets we conceal and the mistakes that we make. We are the love left unexpressed and the unnoticed kindness.

So, who are you when nobody’s watching? What do you do when no eyes are over you, when you aren’t being judged for every action, when your moves aren’t captured by anyone? Are you still yourself, or do you become unrecognizable?

In those quiet moments, when it's just us and our thoughts, we discover layers of our personality we might not even know existed. The solitude strips away the societal expectations and pressures, leaving us face-to-face with our true selves. It’s in these moments that we can reflect on our values, our desires, and our true nature.

Consider the times when you’ve acted with pure honesty, without the influence of external judgment. These are the moments that define our character. It’s easy to put on a façade in public, to wear masks that fit the occasion. But in private, our true essence surfaces.

“Character is what you are in the dark,” as Dwight L. Moody once said. This quote resonates deeply with the idea that our true self is revealed in the absence of an audience. When no one is there to applaud or criticize, our actions are purely a reflection of our innermost beliefs and desires.

In solitude, we might also confront our fears and insecurities. The absence of distraction forces us to face the aspects of ourselves that we might otherwise ignore. It’s a time for introspection, for understanding the parts of us that need healing or growth. This self-awareness is crucial for personal development.

Moreover, these private moments can be incredibly liberating. Without the weight of societal expectations, we can explore our creativity, indulge in our passions, and be our most authentic selves. Whether it’s dancing like no one is watching, singing without restraint, or simply being at peace with our thoughts, these activities nurture our soul.

We should cherish these moments of solitude, for they offer a unique opportunity to connect with our inner selves. Embrace the quiet and use it as a time to grow, to understand, and to love yourself more deeply.

So next time you find yourself alone, ask, “Who am I when nobody is watching?” Reflect on your actions, your thoughts, and your true self. Embrace the person you are in those moments, and let it guide you towards being the best version of yourself, both in public and in private.

After all, the journey to self-discovery and authenticity begins with acknowledging and loving who we are when we’re alone.