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Where Do The Ducks Go?

When You Just Have To Know. Parody To "Catcher In The Rye."

By Jeff JohnsonPublished 3 years ago 7 min read
3
Artwork Via MyPaint By Jeff Johnson All Rights Reserved 2021

Comedy

"The news says the temperature is supposed to get negative ten again this week." Mother says while fixing a small plate with a tiny sandwich, "No, Pickle Mom." from the other side of the table, just out of sight. She replies, "Ok, sweetie."

A "Varoom" sounds out echoing through the house. He stops by the window to watch the snow begin to fall. Huge blobs of snow come down, then a crack of thunder. The sky grows dark and foreboding. The trees lean as the weight of the wet snow alters the once-familiar landscape. "Mom, can I go outside?" With an almost instant reply, "No, Tommy, you cannot." He returns to riding his tricycle "Varoom." Mother looks out the large pond just outside of the subdivision, normally easily visible now looks like a Christmas postcard the fountain in the back the snow falling. Then she says, "This place was an excellent choice for us." "Mom, where is dad?"

She turns to her son, "I am not sure." He follows by asking, "Are you and him getting a divorce?" She responds, "Tommy, it's nap time." "But I'm not sleepy!" "Go. Lay. Down." Tommy knew that tone was the one Mother had had enough, and if he wanted freedom, it was best not to push her. She would put a man in time out. Tommy was no stranger to some hard times. He even had to do the "Corner" one time. Mother was a prison warden too. There was no getting out. If she said five minutes, she meant five minutes. Tommy crawls up on the couch then lays down. Within moments he drifts off to sleep.

He begins to dream of his Mother in a judge's robe with a gabble in hand, saying, "Tommy, you have to go to time out for ten minutes, then jail bars closed behind him." He wakes up shouting. Mother rushes to him, "What's wrong, sweetie? Bad dream?" Tommy looking tired and cranky, says, "Yeah."

He gets up and walks over to the window, then looks out and asks, "Mom, where do the ducks go when the pond freezes over?" Stunned by this change of subject, she says, "I don't know." moments later, the electricity goes off. "That's not good. Put your clothes on, dear we're going to grandmother's house, ok." Tommy instantly perks up, "Yeah, grandma's house." His entire demeanor changes, and immediately, he starts to smile.

"Mom, Tommy, and I are coming over, ok?" The voice on the phone says, "Sure honey, be careful; the snow is deep. Maybe you should get a cab." "Ok, Mom, I will." The two ladies hang up Mother then calls the cab company. Today, Ata is the driver, "I can be there in a few minutes if there are no wrecks." with a Turkish accent. Mother says, "Ok." Tommy then gets on his tricycle and drives over his dolls, pretending to be four-wheeling.

What seems like an hour later, Ata shows up, the snow still coming down. Mother and son get in. Mother asks, "So how long have you been in America?" Trying to get a feel for his physical experience driving in the snow. He responds with an offended tone, "For years, I grew up here from three until now my family is from Turkey." Mother sits slightly more relieved. Tommy asks, "Where do the ducks go when the ponds freeze over?" Ata, put off by the child, says, "I don't know," with a rude tone. Mother gives him a look of "What your step Mr. That's my child." He immediately apologizes, and they take off.

Without realizing they are in for the ride of their lives, the two come to grips with that reality quickly as the cab driver starts to cut corners, sometimes sliding sideways. Mother grips her child's hand, Tommy says, "Momma are we going to die?" She looks down at him, "No, well, hopefully not."

They arrive at Grandmother's house Mother gets out relieved, the snow still pouring, Ata says, "Ask the old woman where the ducks go." waving his fingers in circles while he left a trail of sandalwood incense as he pulled away. "Grandma!" Tommy shouts as he runs up the steps! The snow is still coming down. Mother walks in, putting down her suitcase. "Thank you, mom." "Oh, think nothing of it, dear it's my pleasure. By the way, Barbara, the lady two doors down, wants to go ice skating. You two want to go?" Mother looks at Tommy, "Well, do you?" Tommy says, "Ok!" All Smiles.

Barbara shows up. Tommy sees her Mother can tell that Tommy will say something that will be rude, so before he can open his mouth, her hand firmly grasps his mouth. Mother says, "Not one word." Tommy tries to talk. "Shut it." Tommy wiggles again, "Tommy, I mean it shut up." he whispers, "But Momma, she'll bust the ice!" Mother whips around, "Tommy! One more word and time out, I will not have you being rude like that." Barbara smiles and says, "It's ok, I'm used to it. Children are children. They are honest." Mother says, "My child will not be rude." For the next few minutes, Tommy gets to see that Barbara is a lovely lady. So much so the two become great friends, laughing and talking, leaving Grandmother and Mom to talk and laugh.

Tommy gets on the ice. Having skated before then, Barbara, which was highly agile, taught Tommy how to do a Bellman spin and best she could under the circumstances and win a few "ooh" and "ahh's" from the crowds. Tommy garnered a few laughs and loved being the center of attention.

The four meets at the center of the rink. The snow is still coming down. The ladies are talking and laughing, not hearing Tommy. Then in a moment of show-stopping profound, "He said that." Tommy shouts, "Where the damn ducks go?" not questioning lightly but seriously profoundly frustrated as if he had held it back too long. Mother shouts in shock! "Tommy!" Then he whispers, "Where do the damn ducks go." Grandmother, fighting back laughing, sits biting her lip. Shocked by this event, Barbara stands looking at Mother, then child, then back at Mother, then the child. Grandmother looks away. Mother sits glaring at her child, half laughing, half-embarrassed shocked at what came out of her son's mouth. "Where did you hear that kind of language?" Tom says, being honest. "You mom, you say that all the time." Mother's face turns bright red. Grandmother burst out laughing. "I told you he heard everything you said." "Mom, knock it off."

Barbara hides her face laughing. Tommy, aware of how funny his actions are repeats the words several times. Barbara then grabs Tommy and puts her hand over his mouth. Mother says, "Thank you, Barbara." The ladies laugh. Grandmother says, "Well, that was shocking." "Where do the ducks go?" Barbara smiles and says, "I guess it would be a stretch to say, Quackers." Mother moans. Tommy says, "Old people jokes." Then rolls his eyes. Oh, this has been so much fun today. "Mom, where do the ducks go?" Grandmother answers in a serious tone, "Usually they walk on the ice until it breaks, they eat stuff on the land until they can get back in the water." Mother says, "I didn't know that." Grandmother says, "You know your Great Grandfather." Mother says, "Mom, Stop! we're not going down memory lane." The four get up and take their skates off, put on their shoes. Barbara and Tommy walk ahead. Mother and Grandmother follow behind a large man who walks by Barbara and Tommy. Mother and Grandmother watch as Barbara grabs Tommy's head and thrusts his head into her side, muffling any comments he could make.

The two ladies laugh. Grandmother says, "He's your child, and just like you." Mother says, "Mom, that's not funny." "It is if you are me." Mother grunts at Grandmother.

They all go home. On the way, Tommy notices a duck on his Grandmothers steps. It wags its tail feathers abruptly, quacks, flaps its wings, and walks around. The ladies enter. The Mother gets a notification that the electricity has come back on. "Tommy, you want to stay with Grandma tonight?" "Yeah!" "Mom, do you mind?" Grandmother says, "I love having you both."

Classical
3

About the Creator

Jeff Johnson

I am that late bloomer that decided to follow his passion late in life. I live for stories that are out of bounds, unusual, and beyond normal limits. I thrive on comedies, horror stories, and stories that tug at your heart.

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