When Girl Loves, When Girl Leaves

There was once a girl who wanted a boy. From the moment she met him she knew she wanted to know him and have him in her life. As the girl got to know the boy she understood what he was looking for. She decided to offer him the girl he had been looking for all his life. She somehow managed to get his attention and win his heart. The boy was over the moon, this girl he had found was everything he had wanted and more. The girl was also happy to have the boy in her life. She loved the boy and as they spent time together their bond grew more and more. The boy grew to trust the girl and he revealed things to her he had never revealed to anyone. The more the boy shared, the more he longed for the girl to share with him as well. But there was a problem. While the girl could act like the kind of girl he had told her he wanted, she could not be anymore than that.

Each day the boy required more from the girl. He wanted to know more about her. He wanted to have a deeper connection. This girl had a problem. She had faced this problem before and was disappointed to have to face it again. You see, this girl was unable to have a deeper connection with anyone. This girl was aware of her problems, this was not the first boy to ever ask for more from her. For some reason she just kept repeating the pattern over and over again. Now, here it was again. A boy in front of her asking her to dig deeper into herself and disclose it to him. The boy did not know he was asking her for the impossible. The girl knew she was the problem here, she also knew it could have been avoided if she only would have ignored her attraction to this boy.

The girl knew what she had to do, she must disappear from the boy’s life. She loved him enough to walk away and let him find love with someone who could offer him more. She knew she would hurt him but eventually he would move on. As the girl started to distance herself from the boy a new pain was introduced into both of their lives. The boy pleaded with confusion and hurt, he wanted to know what he had done. The girl turned cold and ignored any calls or messages on her phone. She was angry at herself and her heart. Why was she unable to love? Why did she keep trying to love when she knew she could not do it? The girl wanted nothing more than for the boy to hate her. She knew that once the boy hated her then he could move on. Days were spent like this until the boy showed up at her place one day. As she peered out the window she saw what she had seen many times before. A disheveled and angry boy outside of her door. The girl hated the boy and herself at the same time. She did not open the door and instead sent him a message to get away from her door. She told him it was over and he should go home. As the boy read the message the girl watched him from her window. The boy walked away from her door, got in his car and stared at her house.

The girl watched as the boy drove away angrily. She cursed the day she got in her head to be the girl he wanted. She cursed her belief that this time it would be different. The girl loved the boy but knew her limit had been reached and she could not offer anymore. She wondered if she should explain this to the boy. Perhaps if he knew how hard things were for her he would understand? The girl then remembered she could never be this vulnerable, she could never let someone in and have them feel pity for her. As much as she loved him and hated to hurt him she knew there was no turning back. The girl wanted nothing more than for the boy to hate her. If the boy hated her it would mean that he did not want her anymore. It would mean she would not have to worry about him being sad. She hoped that not opening the door for him today would be enough for him to start hating her. The girl hated herself and hoped some of that hate would transfer to the boy.

As the days passed the boy finally stopped calling or messaging. It seemed the love they shared was finally starting to evaporate from his heart. The boy never said anything hateful to the girl although she wished he had, instead he just moved on and left her behind. As the memory of their short lived romance started to fade away, the girl promised to herself to keep from falling in love again. She hoped the boy found a good girl and his heart was repaired easily and quickly. As far as herself, she knew much work needed to be done to repair her heart before she could use it again.