We Find Out Who We Are Along the Way

Chapter 1

"Look who's finally awake."

My entire body jolts up and my head hits something hard. I open my eyes to see a small wooden board was right above my head. Ouch, that's going to leave a mark. There is a sound of a secluded whistle coming from the windows. The scent of old paint, bitter coffee, and hot metal fills the humid air. I bend over and look up to see four curious faces. The floor and walls are covered in velvet maroon carpet, there are three golden metal framed windows on both sides of me and a slight unceasing thud below us. I am on a train. But the thing is, I don't remember ever getting on a train. In fact, I can't remember a thing.

"Do you think he's slow?"

"Stop it, Luke. Give him a break. You were crying like a little baby earlier." Then there was silence.

A girl with long bright orange, curled hair and fair skin stands over me with her arms crossed. Her thin lips were pursed tightly, and behind her confident demeanor, I could see a small part of her was afraid. I think she caught on to my realization because just like that, the fear was gone. She reaches one hand out to me.

I slowly stand to my feet and look over at the others in the small red room. One man is laying against the window, his back to everyone. He wore a ragged coat that looked like it lived 100 lives before meeting its current owner. In the next row, a freckled boy with long golden hair who looks around 19 or 20 kept his eyes on me inquisitively. In the row closest to what I noticed, is a black tall door with golden framing, is another young man who seems to be the same age as me and Mr. curious. His wavy jet black hair hovered over his strained eyes. He sports a white collared shirt, with a thin navy sweater over it, and thick glasses. One hand is over his mouth. He was somewhere else, lost in deep thought. All of them were.

"What is going on? What am I doing here? Who are all of you?" I didn't realize how anxious I was until I heard my voice. I noticed the freckled boy grinning as he had one palm facing the ceiling, hovering in the air, with his other hand waving back and forth. He pretended to check off an invisible list. One, two, three, he mouthed. The girl in front of me shushes the boy and looks back at me with annoyance. "These are all good questions." I open my mouth to respond, but it seems she anticipated that as she looks away impatiently and continues.

"First, what's your name?"

As I try to answer, my ears fill with a soft ring and the back of my head feels so heavy that I desired to lay back down again. I knew my name, but then, I didn't. It was the oddest sensation, the kind where something is on the tip of your tongue yet your brain is betraying you in that moment.

"Nick." All four of these strangers now look at me. Even the oldest man with the ragged coat, stares directly through me. His eyes were gray and his wrinkled face was engulfed in a small gray beard. He was the kind of person who looked like he was ready to go, but God wouldn't let him.

"Now, tell me. Who are all of you? Why are we on this train? Where are all the others? I jus-". The orange girl blows a strand of her curly hair out of her eyes and hurriedly says, "This is Frank, Luke, Joshua," then she points at herself and with a slight smile, "Amelia." Then it was gone.

"I know you think the boy is oh so cute but we need to focus on the fact that we are in a life-threatening situation. We don't have time for you to flirt and get lai-." The poor guy didn't have a chance. Amelia extends her arm and slaps Luke so hard I could hear a loud crack from his neck. She turns back to me with the same tough expression, except this time she really did seem so unafraid that I think I was imagining any uncertainty before. She was tough. I liked it.

"We've been here for a couple days now. It's just the five of us. We all woke up with no memory of how we got here. We have been waiting for you to wake up. For some reason, you took a while... All we know is, the train is not stopping and we are supposed to go through a few railcars to get to the front of the train and stop it before..."

How do they even have this information?

"Are you sure it's only us?" Everyone looks uneasy except the old man, who has a wooden expression on his face. "Positive." The way she speaks leaves a boy almost entirely dyspneic. She waits for me to respond but no words would come out of my mouth. Her eyebrows raise in a mixture of surprise and satisfaction. "Frank over there", she points to the old man and raises her voice mockingly, "has actually gone through the door. He won't really tell us much about what he actually saw no matter how much I have begged him." Her eyes lay on him with such a force that I felt intimidated for him. But he didn't seem to care. In fact, I don't think he was even listening. Amelia must have thought the same thing because she sighs and looks back to me.

"And that's all we know," she mutters. Our eyes stay on each other for a moment. I suddenly feel this sense of calm. I am not sure why. It also felt like there was something else she wanted to say but she was hesitant. "What is it?" I whisper. The boy in the glasses, Joshua, clears his throat. Luke narrows his eyes and smirks. The old man just stares.

"The train is magic."

Chapter 2:

My feet start to move before I could think straight. I can barely hear what everyone is saying since they all started talking over each other. I walk back and forth from the back of the train to the glistening black door.

"Guys stop talking! Did you hear what I said Nicholas?" Amelia holds her hips as she looks at me with an unreadable expression. "It's Nick." I keep walking back and forth. She rolls her eyes. Magic train? Screw this, I am definitely dreaming. I must have been watching something that has influenced such a dream. It does feel real, but nonetheless, this must be nothing but a dream.

"This is happening. We don't know why. None of us can remember anything from before, other than our names. You're awake now, so we have everything we need to actually go." She doesn't break her eyes away from me.

"Yeah, you said that." I say under my breath. From the look on her face I know she heard me.

"Enough of this. Let's just go ahead and go through that door." Everyone looks over at the boy with the glasses. Amelia stays silent. Joshua continues, "Obviously, someone brought us here for a reason. They must be powerful if they can erase our memories like this and put us on a train."

"A magic train," Luke corrects him, with a smile plastered on his face. He was one of those people you meet who try to get a reaction out of everyone around them. Every time I have looked at him since I've woken up, I felt this enigmatic irritation towards him.

"I know you guys don't know me, but I know I'm not some gullible idiot," I sigh deeply.

Everyone breaks into a smile, even Frank. "How would you know?" Amelia smiles.

Joshua hunches over slightly and clings one hand onto his arm. "We are wasting time. We have no idea how long we have until the train reaches its destination. We don't even know where it leads... or if it will stop."

"A test."

Everyone in the room went quiet. The tired man, Frank, had a very harsh raspy voice that sounded like he had a permanent cold. It seems like everyone is shocked he is speaking.

"It's a cruel test." He stops for a moment, and a strange expression of dread spreads across his face. Then his face returns to furrowed vacancy.

"I tried to get through, but it wouldn't let me." His face flushes and his mouth tightens. He looks furious.

"It was never going to start the game and let me through without Nick." His voice lingers over my name, its echo lasting for what feels like minutes in my head. I wanted to ask him what it was, and if it actually knew my name, or if he was saying it after learning it himself. I look over at Amelia, whose eyes were still on me. She has been looking at me quite a lot, but I am sure she is thinking the same thing about me.

I am not sure what it was. It could be the fact that it felt like the room was getting smaller, or the looks of fear and confusion on all of their faces, but I walked over to the black door.

"Well, don't just sit there. Who's coming with me?"

Amelia, Joshua, and Luke smile at each other and then at me. Frank lets out a tired huff, probably out of judgement for my foolish hope.

Chapter 3

The moment I touched the doorknob, what felt like a strong cold breeze zaps through me. The door feels 300 pounds heavier and I try to let go, but I couldn't. A jarring whisper fills my ears. It feels like it is speaking in unison with the sound of the train tracks. With each roaring rail, its sharp voice became more crawly and distinct. Everyone was covering their ears. Then the voice spoke.

You sure? Everything in me suddenly felt enraged, and had the opposite effect of what I am sure this voice intended. It is enjoying this. It wants us to be scared. Yes. I'm sure. I thought to myself. The entire room suddenly disperses, with darkness swallowing every corner, until we are in what feels like is "nothing". Then a small light flashes above us, and the same scent of hot metal and burnt coffee come rushing back, along with all the velvet chairs and small windows. We were in the next railcar.

"What the heck just happened?" Luke laughs uneasily. Amelia immediately examines the room. Joshua sits back in the same chair he sat in the last room. Frank stands up, with his arms at his side and his hands flexed as if he were ready to pull out a gun and shoot at any moment. "This is so stupid. Let's just keep going!" Luke reaches for the doorknob, and Frank yells out, "NO", but then it's too late.

The lights start to flicker and the room was gone again. All we could see is each other. We all lay down on the floor, with nothing below us. But I reach out and spread my fingers through the velvet carpet. We were still in the railcar.

Time will tell you who you are. A train of two sections, will rip you apart. One by one, I will watch you go. Until two will stand and face the final door.

Each word rang in my ears, and the heavy feeling in my head came back twice as hard. Amelia reached for my arm and clung to it tightly. I don't move my arm away. Frank stands up tall with his eyes closed and his breath accelerated. Joshua's body trembles, as he sits down and arches his back over in what seems to be his designated chair. Everything is replaced with darkness, but it is all still here.

I hear a small clunk to the floor, and look down to see a silver knife. Kill one, and the rest goes on. The sound of the train tracks, the shrill of the air whistle, and the serrated voice was suddenly gone. It becomes so silent, but I can hear everyone's thoughts. No, literally. Wait, can you guys hear what I'm thinking?

It was Joshua. His eyes were filled with panic, in fact I can feel his fear as if it were my own. Yes. Amelia darts straight for the knife and kicks it to the corner. And I can hear you Luke. Luke is in the corner of the room, with his hands behind his back, against the velvet wall. He shrugs his shoulders and smiles.

I can hear his thoughts too. He immediately wanted to grab the knife. He was ready to kill all of us and cheat the game. I am not sure that would have worked though. This being seems like the "play by the rules" type. Joshua stands up fast and jumps in front of Luke. His skin flushes into a soft pink and his glasses fall down his nose. Don't even try.

Luke slowly walks to the middle of the room. He exaggerates each step and watches as we observe him. His obnoxious laugh was like a continuous prick of a needle in your ears. You guys are all delusional. You can pin me as the bad guy, go ahead. I'm doing what I can in order to survive. There is no other way out. Stop trying to think up another way. There isn't one.

We all look at each other in silence. A sudden intense feeling of misery and anxiety walks through me and knocks the breath out me. It was Joshua. I'm not doing this. We can't even remember anything before a few days ago. I didn't ask to be here. Why do I have to play this game?

Amelia rushes to Joshua's side and puts her hands on his shoulders. It has to be better than whatever this is.

What if she was wrong? It felt as if I was in the lion's den waiting to be slaughtered. Why are we playing this game? Whatever is out on the other side of this, it's not going to be good. It felt like something was off, but I couldn't put my finger on it. There was something I used to know, but the memory was taken away from me. I shut my eyes tightly and tried to remember.

Don't antagonize this being Nick. Amelia looked at me, with an expression of sorrow and embarrassment. Let's just play the game. Her voice presses with urgency.

I keep glancing at the silvered knife. I could have sworn it was glowing, humming even, pleading for us to use it. It was like it was a magnet and I was its other end being gravitated, with an imploring voice asking me if it wants me to feel complete again. You all feel that, right? They nodded.

Amelia and Joshua stare at me as if they were waiting for me to figure out what to do. But I didn't have a plan. They knew that, yet they stayed silent and waited. The room starts to feel colder and the knife starts to shine bright. The lights above us flicker on and off and the sound of all the windows shut tight. Kill one, or all of you die. An insidious hot feeling of ice and heat started to grow in my chest. We were all anxious and the ability to feel each other's emotions was becoming too much. I can't bear this feeling. Someone do something! Make it stop! Joshua started to scream. Nick, what do we do? Amelia screams at me.

Wait! Everyone goes silent and looks at me.

None of us should continue. Let the game end now. We can't let this power get what it wants. If we all decide not to go on, fine, we die, but then we end this. Luke, Joshua, Frank, and Amelia stand still. Joshua starts to nod. Amelia gives me a look of exhaustion. She nods. Frank just stares at me blankly, as if he were sleepwalking. But he nods.

Suddenly, I couldn't hear any other whispers in my head. It was just my own voice again. It all happened too fast.

I hear a shrilling howl, following Joshua screaming as he drops to the floor. Amelia lays across the floor with her arms over her head, and a small spot of blood on her right side. I feel a sharp pain all over my body. In a blur, I rush by her side and grab her hand. Above us is Luke, with the knife covered in red, though the silver sheen was replaced with black. "You're going to pay for this," Joshua glares at him.

Luke shoots a small smile. "I was doing you a favor. You're welcome." A moment of silence. "Why do you care, anyways? You have only known her for a few days. I took one for the team. One of us had to go."

Joshua jumps on top of Luke, and they both start yelling at and punching each other until suddenly, Luke falls to the floor. He starts to cough over and over, with one hand clung to the side of his stomach. I reach over to see Luke's shirt filled with red. His eyes slightly dim and just like that, he was gone.

I rush back to Amelia. Her eyes were closed. But the place where the blood was had now vanished. I lightly raise her shirt, and see her bare skin didn't even have a scratch. My hands start to shake. I press both of them behind the small of Amelia's head so no one can see. "Are you shaking?" Amelia whispers to me. I feel my cheeks flush and she pats my hand for a second, then drops it when she notices Joshua watching.

We were all looking at each other, stupefied over what just happened. The rush of anxiety, misery, anger, and adrenaline had been so alive and then in a blink it was completely gone. It felt like a dream. The sound of the train tracks grow louder and with each blow of the whistle, a subdued icy voice rung in my ears.

It's easy to think you are good, when everything goes right. You only find out who you truly are, when it all goes wrong.

It was the kind of tone of voice where you could pick up that the person on the other end was smiling. Just like that, the voice was gone. A surge of anger fills me again. It seems that is a recurrent theme. The door flies opens, welcoming the cool breeze that struck my skin with the sensation of tiny needles. My feet feel heavier, as if it were being gravitated towards the floor. None of us went for the knife, but we all felt like we did. Amelia's fierce eyes remain over all of ours for a moment. She places her hands on her knees and jumps to her feet.

"Let's go, boys." She walks quickly through the door, with a waving hand for us to follow. I look at Joshua, whose glasses were now slightly cracked in the middle. His eyes were filled with tears but not a single one was falling. We look down at Luke in silence. "That boy had it coming."

I forgot Frank was even with us. Joshua uneasily glances over at me, then lays his head low as he walks in between us and through the door, leaving just us in the room. I didn't get a good look at him, not really, until now. I was wrong. This man was around 50 years old from the looks of it, but his pearly beard and rough skin made him look ages older. His lips were tightly wound up, with his stony face giving you nothing into what he could be thinking. Another wave of anger washes over me.

"You've been real quiet. Why is that?" I don't know what came over me. But it was true, he had barely said a word this entire time. He wasn't doing much of anything actually.

Frank's face falls for a moment and he looks at me strangely. He seems... sad. Before I could say anything else, he is already on his feet towards the door. "Come on," his voice trails behind him into the door's black abyss.

Chapter 4

The moment I step through the door, my body is violently thrown upside down as if I were forced into doing a somersault, except there is no ground below me until suddenly there is. My feet land on the concrete, which just as quickly turns into grains of sand. The air is the same, hitting against my face like tiny little arrows. We were no longer on the train, or at least it looked that way. I looked above me to see a clear ashen sky, and in front of my feet was nothing but miles and miles of caramel sand. The strange thing is, there is a small rural pond in the middle of all of us. The voice thunders through my ears, making me and the others fall to the floor from its aching tone.

Temptation is one of life's cruelest games. The best pleasures of all, too much leaves a punishment in its remains. You choose to stay, then stay you must, because comfort is something we choose to trust. You choose to go, to the unknown, a fool you may be, for which you won't know.

With another roar of wind, and the sound of a narrow whistle, the voice disseminates and the ringing in my ears are gone. Amelia and Joshua, followed by Frank, slowly raise themselves up from the floor. "I don't understand." Joshua looks at us worryingly. Amelia kicks some sand and leaves out a small grunt in frustration.

A loud clap of thunder bellows the skies. A figure appears in the center of the pond. You can choose to stay here, surrounded by everything you love. The voice rebounded through the water, through the crisp air, all the way to me. I could feel every word as if it were being breathed down my neck, but as I turn I see there is no one beside me. The figure reaches its hand out, and displays a shining light in front of our eyes. Everything around me disappears, except for me and the figure.

I smell the taste of burnt buttered toast. This strange, unexplainable feeling starts to fill my chest. I didn't think such a feeling like this could exist. I take one step towards the figure, and I remember her. The figure transforms into a limber, small woman with charcoal black hair and a warm smile. She is humming, the sound of a frizzled stovetop complimenting her tune. It was my mother.

As I remember this day, my mom looks right up at me. Her face completely changes. She doesn't look happy to see me. Actually, she looks horrified. Your mother is stuck here. You can choose to stay here in this world with her, or choose to go on. Choose wisely. My mother keeps her eyes on me, but doesn't say anything. She doesn't come to me either, but watches me steadily with a look of trepidation. Will you choose what you know? With every step towards my mother, another memory comes flooding back to me. I can't believe I could ever forget her. My knees buckle and I fall to the floor, my eyes stinging and my chest tight. Now, I didn't want to leave at all. For all I know, the other side could be the entrance to hell. This could be what's best.

Her frightened eyes trail down to her hand, which I follow. She slightly waves her hands, in a motion of shooing me away. She wants me to go. Every emotion suddenly feels heightened and a voice inside of me tells me I would be staying here with her. Honestly, why should I leave? It's such a beautiful view and my mom is making us a meal from the looks of it. Yeah, I should stay.

She looks around hurriedly and then turns back to me and mouths no. My heart drops to my stomach. She obviously knows what is going on. But she can't say anything, because someone is watching us. I know this must be a trap, but after waking up on a train with no memory and to finally remember your mother only to have to leave her in this terrible place feels impossible. Of course every part of me is screaming to stay here with her. What would happen to her, if I chose to go? Would she be able to live here in peace, or will she be thrown into an abyss of cruelty like the rest of us? Would she even have that choice, or worse?

My mother's hands cling tightly to mine. They were as cold as ice and trembling against the sound of her chattered teeth. Her full brown eyes stare into mine. I knew what I had to do, but every part of me was fighting for me to stay. It was as if it was making the temptation a hundred times stronger than anyone would normally feel.

But then, I thought about Amelia and Joshua. For some reason, I couldn't let them go on without me. I started to feel like myself again, as if all my emotions were back to a one. "I choose to go." I hear someone cry out and I realize it's me. Suddenly, the feeling of a strong cool air throws me backwards as if I were being sucked through a tight tube. The image of my mom gets smaller and smaller, until finally she was gone.

The smell of hot metal, coffee, and soft carpet came flooding back. The sound of the whistle is completely gone and the steadied thump had stopped. Amelia sat from across from me on the floor, with a look of complete shock on her face. Frank sat in the corner, his back to us both. We were in the next railcar, and Joshua was gone.

Chapter 5

It felt like there were hours of silence. I stare at the spot where Joshua used to sit. It feels like my heart has jumped into my throat and has gotten stuck there. We all remembered something, but they haven't spoken about what they saw. Amelia won't look me directly in my eyes. She is curled into a ball, her fingers grasping onto her knees, overlapping each other. "I remember," is all she said. What did she remember? Why won't she look at me? My eyes dart over to Frank, who was watching me intently. That was it.

A ripple of fury ran through my chest as I stand up. "Why do you keep looking at me like you know something, Frank?" A small heave escapes from Amelia. Her eyes were bloodshot and her mouth was quivering. "How could you let this happen?" Her arms start to shake and her eyes beam with fervent loathing.

My eyebrows raise. "Me? I didn't do anything." But her eyes were not on me. They were on Frank's, who refused to look at either of us. He mumbles something under his grating breath and then breaks out into a cry. My hand grasps the collar of his coat. I couldn't take this anymore. "Talk. What is she talking about? We lost Joshua. I lost my mother."- Amelia and Frank both look at me in surprise. "W-why are you both looking at me like that? What is going on?"

"This test was for you." The black door suddenly soars open. "I tried to stop him."

"Stop who?"

"My brother is an evil, powerful man. He's untouchable. He told me about this test he wanted to put you through, to see if you were worthy of taking his place one day."

My heart was pounding so fast I could feel a light beat in my hot ears. Frank lowers his cautious eyes as he continues. "I tried to convince him that this was wrong. That this was not the way, but he wouldn't listen. He was so angry about my rebellion that he threw me in this game as punishment. In his own words, to have a front row seat. He wanted me to burn for standing up to him." Frank looks away from me and towards the gloomy window. "I'm sorry, boy." Amelia stands up and looks at me. She knew something, but wasn't saying it.

A gradual swarm of voices started to travel through the door and into the room. It is my name being chanted, over and over again. Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick.

"Come, Nick. Let us meet again." It was the same voice, except now the chilling disguise was completely gone and human. He sounds familiar, but I still didn't have most of my memories and can't recall who it is. Frank and Amelia stare at me, with a look of the desire to tell me what I was about to walk into. But I knew they couldn't. I turn away from both of them. The door starts to grow larger, as if it were excited for me to come through and wanted me to have extra room for comfort. Amelia rushes to my side and squeezes my hand twice. Frank's right hand starts to shake and his eyes glowed with anger. I take in a deep breath and step through the door.

"Come to your father."

To be continued