Warm as Snow

The icy cold of the winter storm felt warmer than the cold in my chest. I had pretended to be okay this Valentine's Day, but I wasn't. I was newly single in spoken words, but it shouldn't have mattered as I had been single for months.

My partner had regularly put our family second on almost every list, but got defensive and aggressive when called out on what his actions said. I gave chance after chance, but when our kids became scared of talking to their Mama because of the defensive behavior, the darkness threatened to overwhelm me.

There has been no closeness, yet the smooth promises of a future together call for me to walk by his side again. The yearning to be a partner threatens to outweigh the reminder of all of the yelling, the tossing of electronics across the room, and the urgency to not upset the balance as to keep the anger at bay... but I know that I cannot keep walking on eggshells.

Our family deserves a new start. I deserve warmth like I currently get from the frozen precipitation as it's warmer than the tears slipping down my cheeks. People warn me of the potentiality of a battle over our children... so many times relationships end in torn worlds for kids.

The choice that looms in front of me this Valentine's Day is: will love win or will darkness? Love shares, love is kind, love is forgiving... while hate is colder than the snow.