Upended

I wonder if she would’ve loved me if the world hadn’t ended. That's the only thought that goes through my head as I survey the carnage before me. I'm still holding the stupid locket in my bloody hands.

I meet Amalia’s blank stare, her beautiful blue eyes are cast toward the heavens, unseeing. She never believed in the Gods before, I see the irony as I weep and pray to whoever may be listening to save her soul. She always said that no God would’ve stood by as the Gadan sickness hit North America. The disease that swept through the world killed within hours if you were lucky, days if you weren’t. Then, the truly unlucky died and became the Gadar.

The Gadar are what’s left of a human that was killed by the Gadan sickness. They stand over seven feet tall, and their limbs are knotted with the overgrowth of bone. The overgrowth of bone happens all over their bodies, their faces become distorted and misshapen. Their jaw becomes far too large for their face and their teeth grow down several inches longer than normal human teeth. The teeth then become sharp as they grow too long for the mouth of the creature and break on the opposing bone. The skin of the creatures becomes taunt and grey, with bursts of red stretch marks from where it attempted to compensate for the fast growth. The hair on their head is patchy and thin, and their vocal cords don’t seem to create sound outside of guttural grunts and howls. All that was anything human is gone from the creatures and only hunger remains. Initially, the Gadar didn’t care much for human flesh, but as the animals died out or got the sickness themselves, the Gadar began turning on the humans left alive. They were insatiable, able to devour a human within the hour, at times the gluttony drove them to eat until their stomach ripped and split. The only way they died was by severing the brain stem. Unlike zombie tales of old, their bite wasn’t infectious. But, their mouth was so large and disfigured that any bite they took was usually lethal. If that didn’t kill you then the infection from their rotting mouth would.

I search across her features, looking for any sign of life. Her long dark hair is in two braids, so long they almost reach her bottom, one of them is resting on her forehead. I reach down with my free hand to brush it away, a smear of her blood stains her skin. Her face is relaxed, the scream that died in her throat isn’t evident in her resting flesh. She wore black today, a V-neck short-sleeved shirt, and dark jeans. Amalia never wears black, I should’ve known it was a sign.

I’m glad her face isn’t stuck in a scream, she’s far too beautiful to look afraid forever. Her Carmel-colored skin is stretched tight over the bones of her face though, she never did eat enough. I stare hard into that beautiful face. At the deep blue wide-set almond eyes that never quite lost their look of innocence. Her small but proud nose with a bump halfway up from where she broke it in a high school fistfight years ago. The wide mouth that used to smile as she called my name, and her perfect small teeth that she insisted on brushing daily even if it meant a late-night run. I will never see that smile again, I think as I continue my assessment of her still form. At her chin is where the beauty ends. Her neck and chest are a mess. The Gadar must’ve been starving to do that much damage that in that amount of time.

We weren’t even supposed to be at the mall this long, I knew there was a jewelry shop and I led us deeper into the bowels of the building on the hunt for it. We were supposed to hit up the outdoors supply store for more camping materials and see if there were any tents left. Amalia had thought I went looking for dry goods while I left her in the sporting goods store and went to a Zales on the other side of the mall. I had wanted to find a ring and her hands were slim, so I figured the sample size would fit her. I approached the storefront and began my hunt for the perfect ring. I spotted the locket while I was scanning through the glass cases and I knew it would do much better than a ring. It was a small gold heart with an “A” stamped into the middle of it. I stepped behind the counter and reached into the case to grab it. It had one of those sturdy chains on it so I knew it wouldn’t break easily. I grabbed a pen and ripped a small piece of receipt paper and wrote “marry me?” on it. Then I folded that up and put it inside the locket. I knew we couldn’t marry in the legal sense of the word, since there weren't any courts left, but we could still say we were married.

I heard her scream just as I placed the small paper inside and closed the clasp. Pocketing the locket I pulled out my handgun and sprinted in her direction. What the fuck? I thought to myself, we scoped it out I didn’t see anything! Just as I round the corner toward the plaza, I smell the reek of a Gadar.

It had to be at least eight feet tall. The Gadar had one large knotted hand are around Amalia's waist and another cupped behind her head. She was lifted off the ground and her feet were flailing in the air. Its face was in her neck. If not for the blood beneath her feet and the sounds of the Gadar feasting, you would’ve thought the monster held her in a lover's embrace. I heard one final scream when I was about twenty feet from them and I saw her go limp. I shrieked, but the creature was too preoccupied with its meal to even look up at me. It didn't notice me as I ran up behind it, didn't notice as I placed my gun at the base of its skull and pulled the trigger. It jerked, dropping Amalia with a sickening crunch, and then fell back toward me. I sidestep its descent and ran to my lover.

"No, no, no, no. Please. Please Gods no. I'm sorry. Fuck, I'm sorry! Fuck, FUCK!" My voice caught between a sob and a wail.

She’s gone. She's really gone. I drop to my knees and cradle her beautiful body in my arms, her blood leaking over the both of us. I reach into my pants pocket and grasp the necklace. "Ama, I got this for you. I want you to be my wife - tell me you'll say yes?" The words are pathetic and said between sobs. "Oh, baby what did I do?? What the fuck did I DO?!" I know I need to be quiet, if there was one Gadar there are usually two or three more. But I don't think I care anymore, I stare down at her ruined chest and place a hand over where her heart should be. The heart I've laid my head on, tapping out the beats on her stomach and making her laugh when it tickles her.

I don't know how long I sit there for. Long enough to feel the blood turn sticky on my hands and darkness to claim the space. I need to get up. I can't believe this is happening. My sweet, beautiful, laughing love is gone and I am undone. My world has turned on its end, yet again. If I'm honest with myself, this is worse than the initial Gadan sickness. I am still holding Amalia, I need to bury her before other Gadar smell the blood. This one must've been alone then because no others came during my wailing. I stand, hefting her small weight in my arms in search of a shovel in the outdoor store.

--

I buried her underneath a lilac bush about two miles away from the mall. It took me about four hours to dig the grave deep enough to where the Gadar wouldn't smell her and find her body. As I finish filling in the hole I look over to the horizon, the sun is rising. Amalia loved the sunrise, if the world would've been normal I think she would've been such a morning person. But since we met in the middle of the aftermath with no electricity we both got on schedule with the sun. She always woke up so bright-eyed and happy.

I reach into my pocket and withdraw the heart-shaped locket. The "A" emblazoned on the front makes me want to weep. I hang it on the lilac bush and it glints in the sunshine, the reflection winking in and out at me. Maybe it's Amalia telling me she's okay, maybe it's the Gods laughing at my stupidity, or maybe it's the wind. Either way, the sight makes my chest tight. I look over at the horizon again, the blue tones of the brightening sky remind me of her eyes. I pick up the backpack that is sitting on the ground next to her grave. Part of me wishes the Gadar would've taken me too, but I stifle that thought and head toward the skyline. I can almost feel the glinting of the locket as I walk away, and I curse myself again for taking the time to go and find it. I'm sorry my love, I think, I wish I had known you before the world ended.