Underwear

Now this was cruel…

The red digital display said 3:00 and he knew that it was in the morning. What else could it be in the dark, under the comforter in a very large bed all by himself? Derrick was a busy man with a lot to consider and handle both in his work and his life, but this was very unfair.

The same dream became the same nightmare…and it was not even original…

He was there, standing in the hallway of his old high school, surrounded by staff, students and that ugly and endless hallway where he had his locker and…he was not fully dressed.

Why didn’t they laugh? They just stared at him as he realized that he was wearing his shirt, had on his backpack…but no pants. It was rather chilly below the waist.

The same pair all the time; the same white tighty-whiteys every single time.

Strange he could not remember the shoes…

He was sweating into his eyeballs and felt the uncomfortable coolness of the sheets peel away from his body.

3 a.m. on a Tuesday morning.

Completely unfair.

*

“If death wore a suit and tie…”

He was expecting this, but it did not make things better. At his door were Sally and Jeremy, two coworkers who would notice that their closest office neighbour had raccoon eyes and an extra-large dark roast steaming on his desk.

“You all right?”

“I am…definitely on the other side of right.”

Sally was the sympathetic one.

“You can go home, y’know.”

“We got you covered, pal.”

He leaned back and looked them over. Jeremy was the newer one to the office, but he fit in quite well, even with the dumb jokes – especially, maybe – and some of his tardiness over projects. Sally was the one who took them both on tours of the office when they were hired, - a nice move for a manager – both of them trying not to notice how attractive she was with little makeup and that particular perfume (clearly, the rest of the office – men and a sprinkling of women – felt the same way). She wanted both of them at “their best game” (her lovely phrase), but she would not mind having him take a day off.

“I’m okay. Just need the dark roast and I’ll be…”

Sally was staring through him.

“Be what?”

Jeremy was distracted by something in the hallway for a moment, smiled and laughed.

“He’s fine… And so is that new intern…” And then he had his familiar speedwalk to a corner beyond the frosted glass.

“Pathetic…”

“Jeremy.”

“Really, if you want to go home…”

“I’m fine; I just think that someone should fix the thermostat.”

Sally crossed her arms.

“Is it cold in here?”

He stood up, look at the air conditioner humming in the corner, and blinked.

“I feel it.”

Sally frowned and gave him a quick smile. “Well, you should be.”

“What?”

“You decided to go commando today?”

In a brief moment, he felt the chill below his waist was far worse than he expected.

“What the…?”

“Put something on.”

He was standing there in his tighty-whiteys, staring at his manager, and the rest of the office became very silent and stared at him. There was stillness in the air – the A/C stopped – and he wanted to crawl off somewhere and die. At least there was no laughter behind the glass.

At least he was no longer tired…

*

3:00 a.m. again…

He woke up.

The same sweat and uncomfortable feeling in his bed; the same problem with sleep that would not come when he needed it; and maybe…the same day?

His smile made him stare up at the ceiling, seeing a street light’s glow broken across the stucco.

But what if…?

The calendar on his phone was on the desk (never keep it near your head when your sleep, he was told).

Should he look?

It was…

*

“If death wore…”

“Yeah, yeah…” He wondered if Jeremy even had a vocabulary some days. “If it wore a suit and tie…”

“You…?” Sally was going to repeat herself, too?

“I know, I know… I’m on the wrong side of right. And I don’t have to go home.”

Sally and Jeremy gave each other a slight look. “You really look like you could use a day off.” She was in his office now, leaning over his desk. “We can cover for you.”

“Not a chance. Just need my dark roast.”

There was no coffee on the table.

“You forgot your coffee? Contact the police! Media alert!” Jeremy grinned and powerwalked away.

“Ha, ha.”

“Pathetic.”

“Jeremy.”

“Hmm…” It was quieter in the office today. “Really, if you want to go home…”

Derrick was annoyed at her, even with the warmth of her presence, that perfume he could not name but never forget, and her beauty.

“We already talked about this before.”

“When?” She leaned back.

“Just the day before. Remember?”

“Umm, no. No, we didn’t.”

“C’mon Sally.” He really needed the coffee now. “I was sitting here and complaining about the cold and you told me I should dress appropriately because I…” He looked past her into the main office and stopped.

“What?”

“Jesus…”

Derrick had wondered why the office was so quiet, but he did not bother to ask (just accept it, he thought), but he saw it now. At every desk, in every pathway and row and column, was the staff. And they were dressed in ties, blouses, the minimum amount of jewelry or accessorizing allowed. And only the underwear beneath. All tighty-whitey.

“Is this a joke?”

“Derrick…”

He stood at the doorway, half noticing her voice. “Everyone thought that my little commando problem was funny so they went out and planned this? Nice…”

“You really need to take the day off.”

“I’m not going…” And he turned on her.

There, in his office, Sally was wearing the same pair of underwear. In any other moment, he would have had some raw thoughts seeing his manager in tighty-whiteys. Derrick was not smiling now, and sexual appetite was not a question.

“Go.”

He suddenly felt tired, and very cold.

“Go!”

He hit the floor, noting the lack of trousers on him, Sally standing over him, and footsteps now running to the door.

*

He woke up.

Derrick did not want to get up again. The comforter was too warm again, and the sweat kept him in place and uncomfortable like an extra skin. If he concentrated, he knew he could go back to sleep, forget about the recurring dream that would not leave him alone, wake up with the alarm, and get on with his life.

In the silence, he opened up his eyes and stared at the ceiling.

No lights this time.

Great to see the darkness (Hello, darkness, my old…)

And then he heard the beeping…

With the slowest turn he ever made in bed, he saw the red numbers on the side and wanted to cry.

It was 3 am again.

And…?

Derrick wanted to see and not see what it said on a calendar, but he knew that he would have to get up to do this, and…

He got out of bed.

*

Back in the office, he saw the wall calendar. It was one of the tear-away ones they gave out to clients at the end of the year. And it could have been a mistake.

It was the exact same day.

It was still cold in the office.

And it was very quiet.

Derrick walked over to his door, looked out and noted that everyone was at their desk, focused on their screens and papers. There was no sign of Jeremy or Sally, but there was something he recognized.

The underwear; the white underwear.

He wanted to laugh, but it would not come out. The fatigue returned and the temptation to lie down almost knocked him out. But there was one thing to try before this happened.

Derrick walked past the cubicles, found Sally’s office and walked in.

“Hello.”

If this had been a dream, it would have been a very short and mixed one that did not have a happy ending. Sally was waiting at the desk, standing in front of it with the same mix of perfume and confidence that the men in the office found potent. And she was naked, except for the underwear. For some strange reason, Derrick wanted to see Jeremy right now. There was something…

“Hello.”

Speak of the dumbo…

“Hello to you.”

Jeremy, as if he did not know, was also in the same set of underwear. He was in one of the inner rooms of Sally’s office, stepping out as if summoned to be there. And it made sense.

“So everyone’s here.”

Sally flashed a very wicked smile. “Everyone is here.” She took her time over every word. “Every single one.”

“And now you are here.” Jeremy still had the same walk, even with less clothes. “Still looking pretty tired.”

“Can’t sleep.”

They smiled at him, but it was no longer that pleasant.

“I keep having this terrible recurring dream that I am in my office dressed in very little except my underwear and I cannot get out of it. Like I’m stuck in a loop that wants me to never sleep again.”

It was hard to describe what he was seeing in front of him. Sally and Jeremy began to merge together, their bodies forming one whole form that moved like pink clay, apart from the underwear. That part of their bodies glowed white and hot in Derrick’s eyes and he could not look at them as they spoke.

“Why’d you…? You didn’t have to say it.”

And then, he felt nothing.

*

It was a busy day.

Derrick knew that he had a few presentations to make that day, and he would have to go out and make sure certain contracts were signed (online files and faxes were not always reliable). Jeremy was still going to be chasing tail and failing more than he succeeded without feeling like a loser (what did he do around here, anyway?), and it would be amusing to see if he was not thrown out over a sexual harassment lawsuit (so close, some days). Then there was the question of Sally. She was so busy now that he barely saw her around the office. Derrick had heard that there was some sort of problem with a client who wanted out and made her life miserable with demands and changes to forms and the like. But Sally was Sally, a very tough figure who would not change her mind unless certain walls fell and laws changed.

All this in his office.

But it was not really the office he knew.

The light hurt his eyes as he woke up in the hospital and felt the various IVs and medication move through his system.

“He’s back!”

“Dammit…”

He had heard them speak about him before, but it was never this clear to his ears. And he never felt such an impossible urge to move...and speak...

“We try and try with these cases, and still we have to deal with this nonsense…” The older woman was shining a light on his dilated eyes. “So much to give and not even…”

“He’s fine.” The younger guy was trying to hide his laugh. “We’ll get what we want. His brain’ll be mush if the meds don’t take and we will just move on to a new one. Besides,” Derrick heard the squeak of rubber-soled shoes on tile, “I have an intern to chase…” There were fast steps down the hallway and finally some laughter…

“Pathetic.” She adjusted the injection in his arm, and there was something about her perfume that made him want to smile. It was so familiar…

“Hope you aren’t too cold in here…”

The lights winked out.

“Hope commando is not too embarrassing, either…”

Derrick went back to his dreams and waited for the morning to come. He had a lot to do.

*

Thank you for reading!

If you liked this, you can add your Insights, Comment, leave a Heart, Tip, Pledge, or Subscribe. I will appreciate any support you have shown for my work.

You can find more poems, stories, and articles by Kendall Defoe on my Vocal profile. I complain, argue, provoke and create...just like everybody else.

Give it a look...