True Love

Get up. If you hurry, there is a knife ready to end all of this. You know you want to. You know you want to give yourself peace. Come to me and share a life without guilt. Share a life without any of the hurt you cause daily. You’re just being selfish. Reach for it. End it. You are nothing here but you are everything to me.

I open my eyes and I am in a structure. Wood and hay all around me. I must be in the barn, behind the house. I can’t move for some reason. I try to stand up and I am not able to get my feet to move. I am just lying there, staring around me. I try to look down and but my head won’t move. Fear takes over and I scream, “JERRY!! JERRY!! WHERE ARE YOU!? I-I-I CAN’T MOVE!” The more I try to move, the more I feel pain but I can’t see where it is. I hear footsteps around me but I can’t make out where they are.

This life of yours is a lie. You know this. Why fight it? This will just end like any other thing in your life. You have too many issues for anyone to love you. Just end it already. I try to focus on the voice and the footsteps but my head is spinning and everything is getting more and more distorted. I just sit there, trying to wake up from this nightmare. I don’t want to be here anymore. I just want my Jerry. I just want to feel him and know this is all ok. Why am I having these dreams again and why do they feel so real lately?

Release yourself. End it. Take your life and join me for eternity. Your mother never wanted you. Your dad, well, he wanted you but that is why your mom left, isn’t it? The way he touched you made your mom jealous, didn’t it? You have always been broken down there and that is why he quit giving you “attention”, isn’t it. Jerry feels the same way, doesn’t he? You are broken and empty inside.

“No. No, that is not true. He loves me. No one has ever loved me as he does.” I try to reach down and force myself to wake up. I can smell the hay and the old wood more and more. This is so real but I know I am dreaming. I can’t possibly be awake during this.

He doesn’t love you. You are just a piece of convenient ass that he really doesn’t want. Do you really think he had to meet the movers? Do you really think he needed to tell them what to pack up? You are moving, you would think the whole house was going, right? He is probably deep inside some young girl. Grabbing her ass as he pounds it. Moaning more and more as she is doing things you can’t do. Please him. You know he just fucks you out of pity. He feels sorry for you and once he’s done with you, you will be tossed aside. Come with me and I will make those feelings of love true. I will make you feel loved all the time, not just when I want to cum.

“STOP IT!! YOU ARE LYING!!!”, I sob when I say this. He does love me. He would not do any of that to me. I wish I could just make this stop and wake up already but I can’t. I feel a wave of sadness pour over me. Like a strong wave. I can’t stop it. I instantly start crying hard. “Daddy, why did you do those things to me? I’m sorry mom-”

Do you think he cares about your pleading? Did he care when he did it? You were his special little girl and he didn’t care about your feelings then and what makes you think he cares now. You are nothing. NOTHING, DO YOU HEAR ME!! You are something to me though. You are going to be with me soon. There is nothing you can do or say to stop it.

My eyes are fuzzy and I feel like I am going to pass out at any moment. I try to shake it off and I feel, finally I feel something, on my hands. I look over to see what it is….

Suddenly, I see this shape appear above me. Its eyes are red and piercing but everything is still so fuzzy. I freeze as it speaks to me.

YOU THINK YOU CAN ESCAPE ME!!?? YOU THINK YOU CAN RUN AWAY!? YOU ARE MINE AND I WILL MAKE SURE YOU STAY WITH ME!! This life you have is temporary and your time is running short. End it. Be with your true love. Death is the only love you can find in this world…..Everything goes black again.

I stir a little bit. I am still in the barn and it is dark now. I go to sit up but can’t. My limbs feel heavy and weak. I try to look around but my vision is narrowed and everything seems to move in waves as I try to focus. Am I still dreaming or just waking up.

There you are, my sweet. Welcome back. Have you given more thought to my offer? Are you ready to end this heartbreak?

“What? What are you talking about?” I asked in a sleepy voice. “I am in love and there is nothing you can say to change that.”

Oh? You think so. Do you know your friend Sandra?

“What the fuck about her?” I asked. “What are you getting at?”

Well, she seems to be having the time of her life with Jerry. Do you want to know what he is doing to her? Can I tell you?

“No! Shut up.” I still can’t get any strength in my voice. It seems like I am thinking this in my head and my mouth isn’t moving. “They don’t like each other that way. There is-”

There is no, what? No way that he is enjoying her body at the moment? Does that bother you? Hearing about him sliding into another woman and actually feeling pleasure for once and not pity?

I picture him and Sandra. Her, caressing that beautiful cock with her tongue, taking him down further than I could. Picturing him moan as he feels the back of her throat and she sits on his face. “NNOOOOO!! STOP IT!! THIS ISN’T REA--”

Real? Oh, but it is real. I am sure he is having the time of his life right. Stretching her ass as he pounds her. Telling her that you mean nothing to him and she is going to be moving to this house and they will both kick you out. Broke and broken, again. You know, deep down, this is true. Don’t deny it. You feel it, I see you feeling it to be true.

All I can think about is this. I can’t get it out of my head. Him being inside her and enjoying it. Telling her that she feels so much better and he can’t wait to get rid of me and be with her. I actually hear them bouncing off of each other as he slams inside her over and over. I can’t take it and I cry and just scream at the top of my lungs. I don’t want to believe it but this feeling is so strong and this, this thing won’t stop talking to me. How do I get out of this? How do I make this stop?

If this wasn’t true, you would be able to stop it but you know, deep down that it is true. You are broken and he would rather stick it in a whore than you. That is why he is leaving so much here. He can’t stand to be around you anymore. Your dreams. Your thoughts and fears, you have pushed another person out of your life by this and there is only one way to end it. You know this. You feel this to be true.

The figure is over me again. I try to punch it but my hands are too heavy. My legs feel like I have never moved them before, heavy and limp. I try to focus on it but my eyes still cannot focus. Even the sounds of its footsteps seem distorted.

You try to fight this but there is no fighting me. You will be mine very soon. He is getting tired of you and your problems and he will be replacing you. Do you think your heart is enough to make him stay? You are dreaming and you know this. You are too weak to even fight in your dreams, what makes you think you can fight when you are, it chuckles darkly, awake? You live in a dream world. Now, wake up and face your hell.

I stir to the sound of a car door being shut. I try to move my legs but they feel like cinder blocks. I go to sit up on my arms to get my surroundings but I can just rollover. I lay my face in the hay and just breathe. How did I get out here? What is going on? Ugh, my head is ringing terribly and when I try to shake it off, it hurts even more.

“BABY!!?? WHERE ARE YOU!!??” I hear Jerry but I can’t call to him. The more I try, the more my head hurts. I hear his footsteps running up to the barn. I manage to make a little noise, trying to muster the energy to call to him. I try to push myself up but I end up smashing my face into the hay before I can even get halfway up. I taste the blood in my mouth and then I smell….that smell. Is that what I smelled earlier? Blood? I can’t think about this right now. I need to get up and call out to him.

He runs up to me and helps me sit up a little bit. He uses his shirt to wipe the blood off my mouth. He just sits there and holds me for a little bit. I feel everything start to come into focus.

“How did you get out here? Did you trip on something? What happened?”

“I don’t….I don’t know. I had the worst nightmare, baby. You and Sandra were….were fucking and all I could do was just scream at you to stop but you didn’t. Oh, God baby. What the fuck is going on?” I turn my head into his chest and just start sobbing. He holds me tight and tries to reassure me that things will be better soon but I don’t know. The more I think about, whatever the fuck that thing was, the more I am gripped with fear. What is the point anymore? What is the point in me being around? This is all a lie anyway. I AM better off dead.

I am so worked up that I barely feel him pick me up and carry me into the house. As we leave the barn, I try to look into it and I see something black in the corner. Red eyes, just staring at me but not moving. I pass out before we make it inside and I wake up on the couch the next day feeling like I don’t want to go on anymore...