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Trapped

By nature. A short story

By Cathy holmesPublished 2 months ago Updated 2 months ago 1 min read
Top Story - February 2024
63
photo by nic-y-c on Unsplash

Your mind, as frozen as your body, can’t make sense of this. There is nothing to see but blinding darkness. The only sound, your chattering teeth.

You try to wriggle your arms free, but they barely move. Are you restrained? It’s difficult to breathe. Your nostrils are full of… snow? Is that snow?

Panic sets in with the realization of truth. The kids! Where are the kids?

“DEVON!” You try to call your son’s name, but nothing comes out. He was beside you, and Amanda was in front.

The kids had been asking for days to go skiing. It was a beautiful morning - not too cold, sparse clouds covering the late winter sun. It was the perfect day. Everything was going magically, until you heard the rumble above, and the roar that followed.

You have to get out of here, to find your way back to the kids. You try rolling on your side but can barely move. It’s hard. It’s painful, but the kids need you.

It’s impossible. It’s hard to tell which way is up. Exhausted and finding it more difficult to breathe with each passing moment, you don’t how long you’ve been here or how much longer you can hang on.

Tears freeze onto your cheeks, as you think of Donna and the children. You fear you may never see them again. And then, the sound of voices in the distance; or maybe it’s just the echo of your own heartbeat.

Short StoryPsychologicalMicrofiction
63

About the Creator

Cathy holmes

Canadian family girl with a recently discovered love for writing. Other loves include animals and sports.

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Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

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Comments (56)

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  • Bonnie Bowerman2 months ago

    Wow! Beautifully written!

  • Tiffany Gordon 2 months ago

    FANTABULOUS storytelling! BRAVO Cathy!!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

  • Denise E Lindquist2 months ago

    Powerful story! Congratulations on Top story!🎉🎉🎉

  • John Cox2 months ago

    Wow, Cathy! This is intense and terrifying! Great work! Congratulations on Top Story!

  • Great story!!!!

  • Lightbringer 2 months ago

    Nice story

  • Gerald Holmes2 months ago

    This felt real! I love the way you ended it. Congrats on the TS!

  • Thavien Yliaster2 months ago

    Chilling cold. I don't know why but when I thought of an avalanche I thought that this was continued from the unicorn story about the unicorn that sneezed, melted the snow that caused an avalanche on the town below, and was like "Meh, close enough." Like, I can see this being a legitimate continuation of that story. Also, I like that last line, cause it makes You wonder if the kids have also passed away as well and You're only hearing their voices as You start to cross the veil from life into death. Fantastic story, Cathy. I enjoyed how You made the reader the focal point of the story as well. Also, now when I read the name Donna I think of Donna from "That 70's Show" and also Donna Fox on Vocal, and I'm chuckling lightly to myself because, "Hehehe, Donna Fox says that she doesn't want to have children." At least that's what I remember from our comments.

  • Real Poetic2 months ago

    The way you ended the story with mystery was both horrifying and genius! Congratulations Cathy!!! I really enjoyed reading this! ❤️

  • Dana Crandell2 months ago

    Brilliantly frightening, my friend! I was holding my breath. Congratulations on a very worthy Top Story!

  • Raymond G. Taylor2 months ago

    Ooooh scary. Really took me there, buried under the snow with you. So well written. Congratulations on the TS which I have linked to Vocal+ Assist

  • Anna 2 months ago

    Congrats on Top Story!🥳

  • Christy Munson2 months ago

    Hauntingly beautiful and tragic. Congratulations on Top Story!

  • Heather Hubler2 months ago

    Fantastic!! I could feel the cold, the urgency, the pain. I was on the verge of freaking out!! I think you're secretly trying to get back at me for some of my snow micros or something, lol. Congrats on top story, Empress!!

  • Paul Stewart2 months ago

    stunning. absolutely stunning, Buddy. Was like a punch gut to my ...well...guts and heart. And like Rachel directly beneath me said...you managed to describe the MC's surroundings perfectly without saying much. Congrats on Top Story!

  • Rachel M.J2 months ago

    This is devastating, Cathy. Beautifully written. I love how you get a vivid understanding of the landscape thiugh you barely speak of it. Could just be how I read it, but there appears to be one word missing "or how much longer you can..."

  • Test2 months ago

    Thumbs up for your effort! Keep the outstanding work—congrats!

  • Phil Flannery2 months ago

    That would be scary. The closest thing to me that would be as scary, is losing the kids at the beach. Great top story.

  • Kodah2 months ago

    💝Well done, Cathy! Congrats on top story!! Very well-deserved! 💝

  • Yayyyyy his death brought you a Top Story! Congratulations! Heheheheheheh

  • Donna Fox (HKB)2 months ago

    Cathy this was devastating and dark and just such a great micro by you!! I love the impending sense of doom and the helplessness the main character as they begin to accept their fate. I think this is my favourite entry to the micro challenge!! Beautiful work my friend and congrats on Top Story!!

  • Susan Fourtané2 months ago

    I really liked this. Congrats on top story!

  • Margaret Brennan2 months ago

    congratulations on TS. this really makes you think. and wow, what endings you can conjure up. awesome.

  • Hafiz Riaz Hussain2 months ago

    Thank you for subscribing and liking my work. I want you to continue appreciating my work

  • Daphsam2 months ago

    Wow, this is a wonderful dramatic short story!

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