There Goes the Neighbourhood

Great Grandpa Edward’s ninetieth birthday party was meant to be a celebration, but it quickly became a crime scene. This would have come as more of a shock to the neighbourhood if it had not been for the Hargroves’ reputation for drama. There were often screaming matches between the eldest siblings in the family, and more than once law enforcement had been called to a Hargrove barbeque. This would have been less frustrating for the neighbours if it were not for the fact that the family had weekly Sunday barbeques.

It all began as it normally did, with Sharon Hargrove arriving at her brother David’s house, accompanied by her daughter and a gaggle of grandkids. David’s neighbours, Norma Dean and Harry Sinclair both watched as the family poured into David’s house. They also witnessed the youngest child, Lorene, pull into the driveway with her partner Janet and their two rowdy German shepherds roughly half an hour later. In this time there was already shouting coming from inside the house.

Norma Dean thought that the shouting had began at around four thirty, because she had just put a pie in the oven and it had almost slipped out of her hand when she heard Sharon shriek “He’s ninety years old for Christ’s sake! He shouldn’t be walking down hardwood stairs every day!” Norma had immediately closed the windows to drown out the shouting.

Harry Sinclair clocked the time that Lorene arrived when he was pulled from his Jeopardy game, which came on right before the five o’clock news, by the sight of a German shepherd peeing on his prized azaleas. Harry snatched the morning newspaper off the coffee table and rushed outside shouting at the dog to “Get off my property!”.

Lorene had casually ambled onto his lawn and attempted to ease the tension by saying “It’s fine. He only pees on the flowers he likes. You should take it as a compliment.” Then she had taken the dog’s collar and hauled him back into David’s driveway. Harry was left on his lawn, speechless.

Krissy Tubbs saw the most action of the day. At five thirty her mother sent her outside to play, and she made a beeline for the trampoline. Krissy loved bouncing on the trampoline on Sunday nights, specifically because the Tubb’s shared a fence with the Hargrove’s. Every time she jumped into the air she could see over the fence, and therefore was able to watch the drama unfold. She had already heard Sharon Hargrove shrieking about the staircase, and now she could hear the shouts of the great grandkids as they all ran into the back yard to play tag. Krissy had once asked the eldest child, Darla, if she might join in the fun. Her request had been met with a large, wet raspberry blown in her face, spraying spittle everywhere. Darla and Krissy were in the same class at Black Ridge Elementary, and Darla was known to be a bully. Krissy bounced up on the trampoline and watched as Trina, Sharon’s daughter, opened the sliding glass door for her mother. Sharon emerged carrying a three-tier chocolate cake with dozens of candles sticking out at every angle. Sharon shuffled towards the dining table and carefully set the cake down. Then she screamed “Dinner time!” and all the various family members rushed towards the table. The cake was the final touch on a lavish spread of salads, burgers, ribs, and corn on the cob. Great Grandpa Edward was the last one to join, hobbling outside with his cane and settling in the high-backed chair at the head of the table. He had a paper birthday hat perched on his head, sprouts of wiry gray hair poking out the top. Krissy thought that he looked a little sad as his family reached around him to fill their plates.

“Krissy! Dinner time!” Krissy’s mom called from the kitchen. Krissy bounced off the trampoline and ran inside.

The neighbourhood was relatively peaceful for the next half hour, punctuated by peals of laughter from David’s house. The peace was broken at around six o’clock when Tim Lawrence, and his wife Helen, went out for a walk. They had been strolling peacefully, admiring the Sinclair’s azaleas, when they were startled by a German shepherd barreling towards them with a burger in its jaws. Tim jumped backwards as the dog tore through one of the Davidson’s bushes. The dog’s tail had only just disappeared when Lorene came pounding down the street.

“Did you see where he went?” she asked Tim.

Tim frowned at her “You should really keep him on a leash if he’s going to terrorize the neighbourhood.”

Lorene shrugged “Dogs shouldn’t be tied up.” Then she turned on her heel and ran the wrong way down the street, shouting “Oscar!” every few steps.

Tim and Helen continued their walk.

Krissy finished her dinner and ran back outside to the trampoline at six thirty. She had checked the microwave clock as she passed, because her favorite TV program began at seven and she didn’t want to miss it. She jumped onto the trampoline and resumed her position peering over the fence at the Hartfords. They had finished dinner and Sharon had launched into yet another argument with David. “It’s his ninetieth birthday, David. Of course he wants a freaking cake!”

“It’s a fire hazard! How many goddam candles did you put on this?! The whole thing’s going to go up in flames!” David shouted back. Great Grandpa Edward stared off into space and Krissy wondered if he knew what was going on. “Stop freaking lighting the candles! That’s enough, you crazy bitch!” David was out of his seat in an instant, grabbing his sister’s arm as she lit another candle. She screamed and ripped her arm back “Don’t touch me! It’s dad’s birthday and I’m not going to let you ruin it!” Sharon brought her elbow down into the cake just as Krissy’ s eyeline dropped below the fence. The next moment, on an up bounce, she watched as Sharon’s balloon sleeve lit up with bright flames. There was a moment of silence, and then Sharon began screaming, the fire spreading rapidly down her arms and licking at her shirt. Everyone at the table, apart from Edward, leapt to their feet.

“Mom!” Trina shrieked, and grabbed her drink from the table to douse the flames. Sharon had started running around the yard in hysterics, her entire body now engulfed in flames. Trina threw the glass and screamed as the flames abruptly shot outwards, higher than before. It would later be discovered that Trina had been drinking a vodka soda, more vodka than soda. Krissy, entranced by the scene, watched open mouthed as Sharon abruptly stopped running and fell forwards. At this moment, David came running from inside the house carrying a bucket of water. He threw it on his sister, and the flames died away. Perhaps if he had been seconds earlier, he could have saved her.

Krissy’s mom came rushing outside, startled by the blood curdling screams. She leapt up on the trampoline beside Krissy, took in the scene, and rushed into the house to call 911. Krissy followed her mother inside, reflexively checking the clock – a quarter to seven. Krissy’s mom hung up the phone and turned to look at her daughter. Krissy frowned and said “She should have stopped, dropped, and rolled. That’s what they taught us in school.” Krissy’s mom stared at her for a moment before looking out the window and saying “And here I thought that we could wait until high school to put you in therapy.” She sighed and then went into the living room to “take a breather”.

Sirens began blaring down the street, and Oscar the German shepherd emerged from the Davidson’s yard to bark at the ambulance. Tim and Helen watched as the paramedics pulled into David’s driveway. Neighbours up and down the street poked their heads out to see what was going on. The police quickly showed up on the ambulance’s tail, knocking on doors to take statements.

Krissy and her mom were sitting on the back porch when they overheard the police talking to Edward. “They bickered and argued but they would never really hurt each other. Well, maybe as kids, but they’re grown now; wouldn’t hurt a fly. Why don’t you talk to my son? He’ll tell you what happened. I don’t see too great these days, cataracts you know? But wait, before you go, would one of you fine fellows please cut me a slice of cake? It’s my birthday you know.” At this, Krissy’s mom promptly shuffled both of them into the house and off to bed.

At nine o’clock the police cars drove away and the neighbourhood fell quiet, the only sound the occasional bark from Oscar. Everything was calm. Until the funeral…