The Summer of Innocence

It was the summer of 1989. I was a ten-year-old little girl whose entire life had been drastically turned upside down. You see, I had always been a daddy's girl. My daddy was my hero, my protector, and my very best friend. I followed him everywhere, in fact, he often called me "shadow".

The relationship that I had with my mother was complicated. Although I loved her, she was sometimes quite abusive both mentally and physically. As a child I didn't view her behavior as abusive; I just assumed that she was always angry at me for some reason.

Even as a child I understood that my parent's relationship was crumbling and falling apart. Sometimes my daddy didn't even come home from work anymore. I'd sit in the window every evening and wait for his old, rusty truck to come driving down the dusty road that led to our house. Jack, my golden retriever would be chasing happily behind him; barking and alerting me and mama that he was arriving. I'd go running out onto the porch and jump right into his arms.

The last night that my daddy came home, he was very late. Dinner was on the table waiting and mama was extremely upset. I waited at the window and watched Jack pace back and forth in the driveway. Finally, I heard the sound of the old truck rumbling down the driveway. I ran outside to greet him. He was carrying a teddy bear that was every bit as big as me. My birthday was a few weeks away, but he had decided to give me an early surprise.

"How much did you pay for that thing!" I heard mama scold as we walked into the house. "Do you see that stack of bills on the counter?" She grabbed my bear and placed it in the corner of the room and then threw the stack of bills on top of it. "Leave him right there, maybe he can magically pay for the electricity and the water, and while he's at it maybe he can feed your daughter next week too!" I looked at my daddy with tears in my eyes as he gently patted me on the head and told me to go to bed early.

I could hear them arguing for most of the night. I tried not to cry as I heard things being thrown around and the sounds of glass breaking. "I want a divorce!" I heard mama say. I didn't know what that word meant at the time. I remember hearing daddy's truck start up and leave late into the night. "Maybe he's going to buy mama a divorce!" I thought to myself as I snuggled into my pillow and drifted off to sleep.

The next morning I woke up to the smell of bacon frying. I hurried to the kitchen but daddy wasn't there. I looked around confused because he was always sitting in his chair reading the paper every single morning. "Where's daddy?" I asked as I snatched a crispy piece of bacon. "Daddy left and he's not coming back!" Those words shook me to the core. "Why isn't he coming back?" I asked with tears in my eyes. She just kept frying bacon and didn't even look at me or say anything else.

I didn't have any friends, we lived so far out in the country; our closest neighbor was at the other end of the dirt road. Sometimes I'd ride my bicycle to their house and deliver apples and vegetables that my mama sold to them. They were older people and never seemed to be very friendly. They sure did have a lot of cats though. My daddy would laugh and say that there probably wasn't a mouse within miles because of all the cats that lived there.

As the days went by I missed my daddy more and more. Mama barely ever talked to me. She was always busy working in the garden or sitting on the back porch alone. I started spending a lot of time in the old barn. I liked it there; it was cool and quiet. The only animal that we had was Jack. Mama said that pets were too expensive and we just couldn't afford to feed them.

Something magical happened inside of the old barn that summer. Every single day more and more animals arrived. I had a cow, chickens, lambs, and even a pig that I named "crispy". A few days later a few kittens even moved into the barn. Nobody could see them but me, they knew that mama wouldn't allow them to stay so they turned invisible when she came near.

Every morning after breakfast I'd hurry to the garden and sneak out fresh vegetables for them to eat. I'd spend the entire day inside of the barn with all of my friends. I named the cow "Daisy" she'd tell me stories about my daddy and how happy that he was. She also promised that someday he was coming back for me.

When mama would get mad at me, the lambs would let me hug them and dry my tears in their soft, warm wool. I played hopscotch with the little chickens, they were really good hoppers. When I got tired, I'd cuddle with the kittens in the hay and take long naps in the barn.

Having all of my new friends got me through the summer. I didn't miss my daddy so much when I was with them. No matter how sad that I was they always knew how to cheer me up. We had picnics together inside of the barn and Daisy would tell me wonderful stories while I cuddled with the lambs and kittens. My mama didn't even get so mad at me anymore because I spent so much time in the barn.

As the Fall breeze began to blow I worried about how I'd keep my animals safe and warm through the cold winter months. One day, just like Daisy had promised, my daddy's old truck came rolling down the dirt road. He had brought me a new pair of shoes and a coat. Him and mama sit on the porch and talked for a while before he left. They didn't yell or argue anymore. Before he left he promised that he'd be back in the spring and I could go spend the entire summer with him at his new house.

I took him into the barn to show him all of my animals. He said that he could see them. "This is Daisy!" I excitedly introduced him. "She told me that you'd be back!" Daddy smiled as he waved his hand in the air. "Hello, Daisy, what a fine cow you are!" he smiled. I put all of my animals in the back of daddy's truck and asked him to take them home with him and take care of them through the winter. He agreed and promised that they'd be happy and safe.

Me and Jack stood in the driveway and watched my daddy drive away with all of my animals in the back of his truck. I never saw any of my friends again after that. I had started school and made real friends. I suppose that I didn't need my imaginary animals to take care of me anymore. Although, I will never forget them or how they saved me that summer. That was the summer of innocence. The summer that an old barn full of make-believe friends helped me survive my parent's divorce.

They saved me in so many ways.