The Emergency

I almost killed an old lady today. I was about one minute away from unplugging all sorts of life-supporting equipment Mrs Mac was attached to. I’m not a nurse. I’m not a doctor. I’m not related to Mrs Mac. In fact, I’m not qualified in any way to be making end-of-life type decisions. I was simply visiting my grandma in the nursing home, and one thing led to another.

Here’s how it went down. It was a stinking hot summer’s day, but inside the nursing home was cool and calm. Like I do every week, I walked past the front reception and said hi to Gladys at the desk. I walked down the hallway to Gran’s private room, sneaking past the room of Mrs Rodgers so I didn’t get an earful from her. I sat with Gran, who was having a good day so we chatted about my week, TV soapies, and how old Mrs Rodgers, two rooms up, is always so grumpy.

About half an hour into my visit, the fire alarms started. We pretty quickly realised the blaring horn and repeated, “Emergency, Emergency. Evacuate the building!” announcement was not stopping.

“Come on, Gran,” I said. “Let’s get you to safety.” Checking each hallway for smoke or flames, I guided Gran through the nursing home and towards the car park. A few of the other oldies were also making their way that direction, but the speed at which they moved indicated anything but an emergency. As luck had it, my aunt had just arrived when we got to the car park. I left her supervising the oldies, well away from a potentially burning building, while I went back to help some others.

I came across an old man with his walking frame. Without a word of a lie, he was taking one small step every four or five seconds. I approached him and shouted over the noise, “Are you okay?”

He looked at me and nodded, then in that typical old person voice replied, “Yes, dear.”

“It’s an emergency,” I shouted to him and pointed towards the speakers in the ceiling that were still blaring their warning message.

He took another tiny step.

“Yes,” he said and nodded, followed by another tiny step. He’d moved less than a metre in the whole time I’d been able to see him.

“Keep heading that way,” I said and pointed to the nearest emergency exit. He nodded, steadied himself on his walking frame and took another tiny step.

Some other family members were now helping usher out their own loved ones, as well as other oldies from the wing.

As I walked by grumpy Mrs Rodgers’ room I saw her sitting in her corner chair with her arms folded stating firmly, “I’m not leaving”.

I skipped Mrs Mac’s room because I knew she hadn’t been conscious for weeks and was attached to fancy looking equipment.

In my next few trips from the ward to the car park, I didn’t see a single staff member or notice any smoke.

When I reached the car park the final time, I saw that Gran and my aunt were the only two left standing in the hot sun, and all of the other older residents had decided to walk back to the nursing home and go into a different building. The alarms were still blaring. I had no idea where the fire was. I still hadn’t seen a staff member. An image of them all walking towards their burning death flashed through my mind.

Mrs Rodgers had opted to stay and burn if that was the case. Nothing I could do about that. It was time to unplug Mrs Mac and wheel her bed outside. Just as I reached her room a nurse came around the corner.

“Where have you all been?” I asked. “I’ve almost got this wing sorted. I took them to the car park but they’ve now gone back into a building.”

“Oh it’s just a drill,” said the nurse casually. “The pretend fire was in a different part of the nursing home so we concentrated on that.”

“I WAS ABOUT TO UNPLUG MRS MAC!” I exclaimed.

“That wouldn’t have been ideal,” said the nurse.

“The rest of them have been out in the hot sun for a while, and last I saw were heading for the big hall,” I said.

“Yes, that’s where they gather in an emergency,” she said calmly.

“And what if that’s the building on fire?” I asked loudly, still trying to compete with the warning alarm.

The nurse looked at me as if this idea had never crossed her mind.

Finally, the alarm fell silent and the oldies began to return to their rooms.

“Look, I understand you need to run fire drills,” I said. “But I think you need to consider if they are causing more harm than good, or at least make sure you have staff in each area to monitor what’s happening. As I said, I was about to unplug Mrs Mac!”

The nurse looked thoughtful. “I’ll pass on your feedback,” she said at last. “Between you and me, this drill was a bit of a failure,” she confessed. “The imaginary fire destroyed a fair bit of an imaginary building and we lost eight imaginary residents.”

“And you almost lost one real resident,” I added. “I was about to unplug Mrs Mac!”