The Divide

I am not really sure I want to keep writing in this damn book, yet here I am still doing it. Your daughter continues to tell me to write in this and has a "gut" feeling you will get to read our stories one day. So here I am still doing it.

She says hello by the way.

Well, today was a tough day and just as tough as every year before this one. I never want to write in here, on today of all the days. I can't believe it has been 10 years since I have seen you and 10 years since you have seen our child. This damn Divide is one of the lowest points in our human history and by far the saddest. I honestly never thought that any wall would have been built years ago, yet alone the one that separates us now. No matter how they justify it and sell it on this side, there are no winners and nothing but losers.

We all lost in that war. ALL OF US.

I know you are probably tired of hearing my tangents about the war and how there was no justification to separate us like they did. Hell, none of this is justified. None of this is humane. Which is terrible because it's the most human thing possible. We as a species are so afraid of something different that we strive on a daily basis to run from it.

Fear it.

Hate it.

I just would have hoped after so many decades and so many struggles we would have looked past this one thing. Clearly I was drinking from the wrong Kool-Aid. Well, it is for sure the right one, I didn't mean it like that.

Sorry.

Faith has a hard core farmers tan with bright line from the necklace of your Locket. Remember when you gave that to her? It was the day before the Divide happened. She just turned 5 and was so confused and not fully understanding what was about to happen. We had been at the divides border camps trying to protest the splits that were about to happen. Clearly with no prevail. You gave her that heart shape locket in order to remind her of us. The heart shape with our photos inside it. You said " This is to remind you that your parents are in your heart and outside always". Pretty sure I cried for like 4 hours that night uncontrollably when you guys finally fell asleep in each others arms.

I miss you. So Much.

Faith is coming up with a plan to sneak under the wall and cross the Divide to see you. She has your looks, but has my stubbornness. I have told her so many times the drone security and underground scanners make it impossible to get through. Yet she perseveres and keeps sketching plans. She is doing great in school, some of the highest marks in her grade. She still gets bullied to this day for her skin being a little darker and her beautiful curls. Her courage and strength is astounding on dealing with it. Probably why she is so intelligent, to prove to all those raciest pricks that she's better than all of them. I still have to help with the actual facts of our history and some science since everything has been "white washed" as she so eloquently puts it. I hope other parents are doing the same. Teaching their kids the truth versus what the E-USA is trying to shove down their throats.

I want to pull her out of that school system and find somewhere else. There just is no where else. Every school, every state, every city are all the exact same here. The last of the "off grid" communities were cleared out years ago. With the other countries around us now supporting the Divide and coming up with their own version of it. We really are stuck. Honestly we should have taken that boat you mentioned and just lived on the ocean forever or found a island to live our days on.

So here I am, writing in the dang journal again, watching our daughter open the locket and stare at your beauty. Your dark velvet skin and beautiful brown eyes. The photos are black and white so I had to tell her a long time ago your eyes were brown. I continue to pray that one day our two halves can be whole again. That the Divide can be destroyed and color is no longer an issue. My grandmother once told me. "You can shit in one hand and wish in the other and see which one fills up faster." Thanks grandma, because right now there is nothing but shit everywhere.

Side note.

Whoever came up with the phrase "It's there in black and white" should be beaten with a cactus.

Energy curfew is blaring outside, have to shut down everything. We have some left over pizza we are finishing right now. I will chat with you tomorrow and be angry all over again about this.

Love you.