THE DECISIONS WE MAKE

1. THEY DON'T SAY HER NAME

The prettiest flowers will always be plucked from the earth with swift motion and little to no hesitation. How is it that we don't blink an eye when flowers are plucked but cause a commotion when the very fruits of nature, the purest of souls are ripped from existence. I'll tell you about the story of this girl whose name goes unsaid but story is repeatedly told. She is the embodiment of a common commodity and is more like you and I then you could ever imagine. She was fourteen, a bit full of herself but weren't we all around that age? She was somewhat a happy child with the occasional longing for more to her life than she felt she was supplied. Drained by constantly saving face and being a perfect role model for her younger siblings as she lessened the load on her parents as a, eh, second mother to her household. Tiring as it is it was tired that she was so she did what any other fourteen-year-old girl would, she looked for a friend. A companion that would listen to her thoughts and agree with her pain and be more than just, a friend. She wanted a life to partner something that was all hers. No sharing, no ridicule, no jealousy, just paradise. Every day after school she showered, put on something more suitable for the rest of the day lounging, sat in front of the mirror and brushed her auburn hair until the frizz died down and it shined in the light of her antique gold desk lamp. She would then get a snack and browse the internet searching for stories on Wattpad that either related to her situation or embodied the progression in life that she longed for. However today was different, she didn't shower, she didn't change out of her clothes, she didn't brush her hair, she didn't turn on her lamp, and she didn't browse the internet. She ran. She ran from reality and immersed herself in a mind-altering sense of false fulfillment. She ran into the arms of the thing she longed for the most, the companionship she felt she truly needed. She finally felt free like she was a small tree planted firmly in the ground of a tropical forest that could never be seen or altered by man. Like she was somewhat still as insignificant to the world as she was to herself, but she would never again go unnoticed. She took a deep breath as if to greet her new self, her truest embodiment of her. She was forever grateful to her partner and in fact she finally felt like she had something to live for. Something that would make life from the out worth living. She no longer had to think for herself and was only required to think of herself as she let go of the restraints in her mind and went on a journey to well inner peace as she put it. It wasn't long before she confessed her lifelong love and yearn for her new companion and knew in her heart, they would be together every day never to get tired of each other. There wasn't a match as beautiful and flourishing as the pair and she knew nothing could replace the feelings she now had that she never thought she would ever feel in her life. However, the problem with a love so beautiful and a feeling so magical when you are together is that it burns your soul when you're apart. Your body becomes weak, and you begin to feel inadequate with just yourself so now you're freaking out. Everything you built up for yourself feels like its crashing down because now you've lost the one thing that actually brings a smile to your face and joy to your heart. She became visibly sick and worn down anytime she was not able to be alone with her love and started feeling like a failure as if everything she touched turned to ashes and everything was liable to be taken away from her. She began wondering what life would be like without that feeling of love and true commitment after all she committed everything to it, her mind, body and soul, as if to tell them she was fully offering herself no matter what the cost because that was just how much it meant to her. The minutes felt like hours and the hours went on long and dreadful until she was finally able to reconnect herself to what she was truly needing. Even though she began to realize what she needed wasn't all she should have. Bittersweet indulgences led to a night of nothing. Nothing in her mind, nothing in her soul, and now nothing in her body. She sat up and looked around the room as her body lay beneath her and she tried to figure out what the nature of the circumstances were. She seen her younger sibling rush into the room and fall to her knees by the feet of the body she once knew. She screamed out and reached out and clawed at her sibling, her sweet baby as her parents rushed entirely through her and just looked down to sigh. The first time she had ever witnessed her father cry and just as she faded away into oblivion, she heard him mutter the words to her mother 'I told you she would never stop, addiction has no limit or consideration for its control of self, there was no self to control if she was already so hollow to begin with". See they don't say her name but I'm sure she's not any different than you and I. I'm sure we all have self-indulgence's that give us momentary satisfaction. We try to convince ourselves that we have the power and control but really, we don't. How long before they tell her story for me? You?

2. Trapped