The Dargon Incantation

"Never wake a sweeping dargon."

"Wait, I'm sorry, can you repeat that last part?"

"It says, 'never wake a sweeping dargon'."

"I'm not so sure you're reading that correctly."

"Maybe they were an ESL speaker."

"A what?"

"Elvish as a second language."

"Ahh, could be, go on."

"Never wake a sweeping dargon. To this cave you came to bargon."

"Do they mean bargain?"

"Doesn't really phonetically rhyme as bargain, now does it?"

"No, but what does bargon mean?"

"I think it means bargain."

"Okay, well, carry on."

"Never wake a sweeping dargon. To this cave you came to bargon. Eye of toad and bitter fruit. Blood of lamb and twisted root. Two dozen eggs. Bread. A carton of milk. Some of those little chocolates that look a bit like gold bars."

"Hold on, is this just some sort of grocery list?"

"I think it might be a potion? Or incantation?"

"For the bargon?"

"Yes, the bargon with the dargon."

"I have my doubts, but please continue. I want to hear this out."

"Never wake a--"

"Skip to the nuggets."

"The what?"

"Nuggets. Chocolates that look like little gold bars. That's what they're called."

"I did not know that."

"Well now you do."

"Hmm, okay. Dargons, fruit, ah here we go. Some of those little chocolates that look a bit like gold bars. Bring in the laundry, and pack Pete's lunch."

"Pete? Who is Pete?"

"I'm honestly not sure. There's nothing written on the back or anything. No context, really."

"Oh well, go on."

"And pack Pete's lunch. Beware ye' traveler from far and wide. With dargon's eye, you're surely spied."

"Well, see there. They've done it twice."

"Done what?"

"Dargon. It's intentional."

"Oh, I suppose it is."

"Carry on."

"With dargon's eye, you're surely spied. In trade I take the thing you hold. It makes you meek and makes you bold."

"Both?"

"Sorry?"

"Both meek and bold?"

"Well, I didn't write it."

"Sorry, it just seems like a contradiction is all. Please continue."

"Da-da-da, meek and bold, here we are. Makes you meek and makes you bold. In twenty nights with twenty men, come twenty knights with twenty kin."

"So is that sixty total?"

"Come again?"

"In twenty nights we have twenty men, twenty knights, and twenty kin?"

"I suppose sixty-two if you count us."

"I suppose. Or do you think the men and kin could be the same?"

"It could actually be a crossover with some subsection of the men being knights and, or, kin. A veritable venn diagram of knightly kin men."

"Hmm, let me get a notepad. This is getting a bit complex. Carry on."

"Let's see, ah here. And twenty kin. Upon the throne a witch conspires, as sweeping dargon doth perspire. Remember to add deodorant to shopping list."

"Was that..."

"Yeah, that was written."

"Okay, go on."

"Yadda yadda, shopping list. Here we go. Add deodorant to shopping list. And then there's just this picture of a, banana I think?"

"Do dargon's eat bananas?"

"I'm not certain."

"Could be something to bargon with. May be a clue."

"Oh. That's not a banana. We should just move on."

"Let me see. Oh, right. Move on."

"Ye brave enough to read this far, prepare ye for the rising star. It comes from east, and settles west. For you I leave that riddle's test."

"The sun."

"Yeah, it's the sun. I'll go on. When riddled through your task is done, complete these words the rising... and then it just kind of trails off."

"Yeah, the sun. Complete these words, the rising, and then yeah. Sun. That wasn't really a riddle."

"It was not."

"So, I guess just read it all through again."

"I'd really rather not. It's just kind of a shopping list and some nuttery."

"You're right. Let sweeping dargons buy, I suppose."