The Car Park
For Those Who Have Lost Their Motor In A Car Park
He never wanted to go to the MegaMall but his girlfriend had asked him to go and buy her some make-up from the MegaChemist there. Every shop and supplier in the Mall was called Mega something, as though that made them any better than your average high street shop.
He had parked up and then went into the Mall and despite getting lost a few times and then finding the shops he was looking for had moved, he eventually got the things that his girlfriend had charged him with.
Then it was get out and get home.
He then realised he didn't know which entrance he had come into the Mall from, so wandered around to see if anything looked familiar to him but all the shops were glass-fronted lit and selling the same sort of tat, There were some cafes and eateries, but again they were much the same.
Eventually, he decided to walk to one of the entrances, then he would find his car and get out of here and make his way home before he got in the jams when everyone else decided to leave.
The Malls were the new religion, people came to worship the shops and their prayers were their money, but that was not for him, he hated these places and just wanted out.
He got to a main entrance and walked out. It was going dark. He pressed his key fob and hoped to see his car indicators light up, but there was nothing. Either he had come out of the wrong entrance or he wasn't close enough to his car.
He didn't know whether it was because it was going dark, but all the cars looked the same colour, and the same type, just like his. If his didn't light up soon he didn't know what he was going to do.
He texted his girlfriend to say he might be late, as he had lost his car in the Mall car park. Could it have been stolen? He didn't know, but there were so many cars, and he walked on through row upon row of parked cars.
He then realised that, oddly, he seemed to be the only person in the car park, but there were thousands of cars. He also thought it odd that there were no sounds from the road, in fact, he could see the road or the car park exit.
He checked his phone to see if his girlfriend had replied but saw his message had failed to send. Also, there was no signal and his power was down to 2%. He needed to find his car or get back to the Mall and hopefully find a charging station and a signal.
He turned to go back to the Mall but he couldn't see it, just row on row one row of cars, all the same. He thought if he couldn't find his own car maybe he could break into another and charge his phone.
He walked up to the nearest one and got a shock, it was warm and felt like skin. It was not metal, it was like a sleeping body. He had assumed from the shape it was a car, with doors and windows, but it was not. He went to the next one and it was the same.
This was not a car park, it was more like a mausoleum, but he wasn;t sure what sort of bodies these were, They didn't move or make a sound, but now he began to get frightened.
He looked at the phone, it was dead,
He walked along the row and saw a space between the bodies, and on the ground the ominous words
YOUR RESTING PLACE
He knew he would never leave this place.....
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Expert insights and opinions
Arguments were carefully researched and presented
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
Comments (4)
I have very poor sense of direction and memory. Your story was sooooo scary to me! I always forget where I parked my car. You have now unlocked a new fear in me, lol!
At the Mall of the Americas in the Twin Cities, mom went out the wrong door but figured she'd just walk around the outside of the mall until she got to the right part of the lot. It took her a while to realize that the mall exits to the parking lots were on several different levels, as were the lots.
Creepy as hell... Well done!
OMG!!! Horrific!!!