The Book

Emma pushed back the blankets on her tiny pallet. Her room was dark, but it was small enough that light wasn’t needed. She moved to the edge of her mattress and got down, shuffling to the tiny dresser.

Three years ago, when she was six, she shared a room with her sisters and was allowed to wear dresses. After the death of her grandma, her sisters demanded that she be moved to the tiny pantry. It was large enough for a pallet and a dresser. It was not large enough for a closet. Her parents didn’t seem to think it mattered. They started giving Emma her brother’s old clothes. Not the nice ones, the old work clothes.

Emma pulled out a pair of brown trousers and a matching tunic, which laced shut at the neck. She grabbed a belt so that the pants didn’t fall off, and she had to roll the legs up and pin them so she didn’t trip over the ends. The one thing she did get when the traveling merchant came to the farm was good shoes. Her parents didn’t want to take chances on having to pay medical bills for her.

She quietly left the room to find breakfast. She knew if she grabbed food and disappeared, everyone in the family was happier. She was allowed a roll and a hunk of cheese. She would then be permitted to join the family for dinner. As long as she stayed away, she would be safe for the day.

When she got to the kitchen there was a tall, wide, man wearing the colors of the king, silver and crimson. He had a sword on his hip and what looked like thick clothing. Was that metal in his clothing?

“Are you the Emma girl?”

Emma froze. No one talked to her. She started to back up.

“Answer me child.” His voice was deep and pleasant. He didn’t sound angry. He didn’t look like he was about to hit her.

Cocking her head, she relaxed and her arms flopped to her sides. She wasn’t sure when her arms and fists had risen. “Um, yes, m’lord. I am she.”

He grunted. “Sit. You’re skin and bones, child.”

She slowly moved to the table and sat. She wasn’t supposed to sit there in the morning, just grab her food and disappear, but she wasn’t going to go against this imposing man's command. He placed a plate of food in front of her. It had a bacon and egg sandwich and some fruit. Grapes and strawberries. She moaned at the thought of the bounty.

“Eat, girl.”

Eyes wide, and a bit terrified, she did as told. The man watched her warily, as if she might bolt at any minute. When the plate was empty, he took it away.

“My name is Captain Durrin, I lead the king’s guard. I am here looking for an item that I believe you can help me find.”

Emma was gobsmacked. How could she, a nine year old girl, help him? “Pleased to meet you, Captain Durrin.” She made a move to get up and curtsy, but he lifted his hand to stop her.

“Emma, the king is looking for a book. It is very important to him to find it. It was one that your grandmother wrote. Your parents think that maybe she gave it to you.”

Emma’s eyes widened.

In her last year of life, Emma was the only one who really ever visited her grandma Inez. She would go to the cottage every day and listen to her stories. Her grandma taught Emma her letters and how to read. She taught her the start of herblore and how to navigate the forest. Mama never visited her mother because pa hated her, hated Mama’s whole side of the family. Emma never knew why.

During one of Emma’s last visits, Grandma Inez handed her one of her books, Arcana and Herblore, it had Grandma Inez’s name on the cover as well. “Child, take this book. Don’t let anyone ever know you have it, read it, learn it, memorize it. I’ve added extra notes in this version that only I and old doll know. Hopefully after I pass, doll can continue teaching you.”

Emma always wondered which of her dolls would help her. She had hidden two away with her secret treasures.

“A book, sir?”

“A book on plants. Did your grandma ever give you a book?”

Emma watched as the man slowly got up and cleared her plate away. He moved around the kitchen as if he knew it, owned it. He opened a cupboard, grabbed a glass, then, moving to the cold room, filled it with juice. He set it in front of Emma.

He seems nice and he works for the king. I bet when Grandma Inez warned me to keep the book safe, she was warning me to keep it from family.

Emma took a sip of the juice and was surprised at how sweet it tasted. She let out a squeal of happiness.

Licking her lips, she took in a steadying breath. She could do this. She didn’t want to lose her last connection to her grandma, but the king was a good person, wasn’t he? She’d heard how he’d taken down each of the kingdoms of the land, but he did it to unite them, so in the end it was good, wasn’t it?

She wasn’t sure, but this man had been so nice to her.

She looked up into his warm eyes. “The book my grandma wrote?”

“Yes child.”

A door slammed down the hallway and footsteps stomped their way. Emma tensed. She wasn’t supposed to be here. She made to run, but it was too late. Dennis, her eldest brother, exploded into the kitchen. “What is she doing sitting at the table?”

The captain of the guard took in Dennis at the same time Emma did. He was wearing a grey top with the Ravin crest across the chest and black trousers tucked into knee high boots. “She is talking with me, Dennis.”

“Well, the whelp isn’t supposed to be here when the rest of us get up. It upsets our digestion. I've been listening. If the book is in her room, I know how to figure out where.” He lifted Emma up by the back of the tunic and carried her out the front door.

Emma watched the floorboards of the kitchen turn into stairs and finally grass and she was thrown to the ground. Then he started kicking her in the hips and ribs. Emma tried not to cry out, but it was hard.

As the beating continued, Emma thought, not for the first time, I want to disappear, wink away. Wink, wink, wink away. Go to the forests where Grandma Inez taught me to be free. The more she thought about this, the more she wished she were Winking and not Emmaing, whatever that meant.

She learned that the more she reacted to the beatings, the happier Dennis got, so all she let out were soft whimpers. After what felt like an eternity the kicking stopped.

She heard talking.

“You need to get your son under control unless your goal is the death of your youngest child.”

“Of course it isn’t,” Dad’s voice snapped out. “Dennis, go to the barn and get the horses ready for rounds.”

Emma lay on the ground, trying to hold back her moans. The captain spoke softly to her dad. “You didn’t find anything in her room?”

“No, we checked everywhere. I don’t think the girl has it.”

“I think I heard a bone snap. You’ll have to let the girl heal.”

A gasp escaped Emma as the captain lifted her and carried her to her pallet. She knew she didn’t have a broken bone, she wasn’t in any more pain than normal, but if she was being told to stay in bed for a few days, she wasn’t going to argue.

A month later, and three ransakings of her room, Emma was free to move about the farm. She dressed in her usual attire, excited to be allowed to leave the confinement of the small room.

Her father had even said the traveling merchant would stop by and she could pick out one item, since she had been so respectful to Captain Durrin.

After breakfast, a roll and chunk of cheese, she headed out to find the merchant cart set up for sales. Emma skipped up, excited to see what was there. Instead of the crusty old merchant, there was a girl, her age, standing behind the table. She had curly black hair and green eyes. Emma froze. She was so pretty it made Emma’s heart ache. She’d never had friends or known girls besides her sisters, and all they’d done was mock and hit her.

Diverting her eyes, Emma sidestepped to an area away from the pretty girl. She would probably like Matilda and Bulah better, Emma’s sisters… No! I’m Wink now, at least in my own mind., she decided. Wink would be stronger.

Wink moved down the table and searched the items, trying to find something she could have that her family wouldn’t try to steal or destroy. She was by the jewelry. She didn’t have any dresses anymore and didn’t have anywhere to wear the pretty baubles. She moved down a bit to fabrics. Again, this wasn’t something her family would let her have. She still felt some of the silks and velvet fabrics. They felt so soft and reminded her of visits to her grandma’s place. She had to get control of herself.

“Can I help you?” Wink looked up into the eyes of the girl, and again her heart skipped a beat. “Are you thinking of fabric for a new tunic and...oh! You’re a girl.”

Wink felt her cheeks heat. “No...not fabric. I just want a small trinket or toy. These fabrics are just so soft and pretty.”

The girl smiled. “What about one of these?” She pointed at a set of small dolls. “They are wearing dresses made from those fabrics.”

Wink smiled with the sneaky joy bubbling in her. Somehow this girl understood her need. She looked over the dolls and found one in a deep purple velvet dress with a silk scarf. Maybe this doll would help her to better understand her grandma’s last words. She picked it up and approached her pa. “Pa, can I have this?”

He barely looked at it. “Sure, now off with you.”

Wink ran to her room to hide her doll. She closed her door after making sure she was alone. When she had moved into her room she found a loose floor board, and she put all of her special treasures there. No one else knew of the spot. That was where she hid the book and her notes. It was where she hid her new doll as well. She didn’t trust her siblings.

Once hidden she scampered off to the woods. Halfway there a soft voice stopped her. “Can I join you?”

Wink paused and turned. The pretty girl from the merchant’s cart was following her. “You want to play in the forest? With me?”

“Why not?”

Wink looked down at her grimey boy-clothes. “You wouldn’t rather spend time with my sisters?”

The girl rolled her eyes. “Those cows? Why would I ever want to do that? I’m Sorcha, well, Sugar to my friends.”

Wink thought for a few seconds. “I’m...Wink.”

Sugar’s brow furrowed. “I thought...but, ok, nice to meet you, Wink.”

They headed into the forest. Sugar gazed at the tall trees, stepping on every leaf and branch. Wink winced at the noise, but didn’t mind since she’d never had anyone join her in the forest before besides her grandma. “Are you from the city?”

“Yeah. I usually stay with my mom, and my...and Ace. They’re older than me. They take care of me. How about you, do your siblings take care of you?”

Wink couldn’t help the guffaw that escaped her. “No. Ever since my grandma died, I just try to survive my family. I figure one day I’ll get out of here.”

Sugar’s eyes widened and seemed sad. “Do you have friends?”

Wink gave a quick shake of her head. “I spend my time out here studying the plants or in the hayloft. It isn’t so bad.”

Sugar linked her arm with Wink’s and leaned over to kiss her cheek. “Well, you have a friend now.”