THE BACHELOR IN ETHERIA

The Sorceress's portal did indeed spit us out in Etheria; for all of my times watching "He-Man," I religiously paid close attention to "She-Ra" as well. Nevertheless, as Adam and Cringer emerged from the portal as well, I glanced around to realize that this was not the Whispering Woods of the Rebel Camp. Then again, it was clearly not the Horde's Fright Zone either.

"Where are we, Adam?" I asked.

"Well now, aren't you the animation historian here?" Adam teased.

"...and you guys are the tour guides." I insisted. "I know this is Etheria; but it's not Whispering Woods."

"Well, it's not the F-F-Fright Zone either." Cringer pointed out.

Adam chuckled at the back and forth.

"This is the Crystal Falls." he pointed out. "Look below you, Storyweaver!"

I glanced down yet again and could have lost myself in an embarrassing moment of rhapsody. There were Princess Adora, the leader of the Great Rebellion, Frosta, the Ice Empress of the Kingdom of Snows, and Princess Glimmer of Brightmoon all holding court with Mermista of Salineas.

"Ohhhh." I gushed.

"Then again, if you wanted to see Whispering Woods, I'm sure you could find some Twiggets or even Loo..."Adam continued.

"Crystal Falls is fine." I interjected. "Except...well, what do I say to them?"

"You; the Storyweaver who's knowledge just saved Eternia from Skeletor's Spell of Confusion are at a loss for what tale to begin entertaining them with?" Adam scoffed.

"Well, I did have help with that." I insisted.

"I was there to live it and even I'm at a loss for the details." Adam added.

I scratched my chin thoughtfully and finally nodded.

"You're right." I answered, spraying a couple of puffs from a pocket-sized cologne anyway. "Let's go! I didn't take a detour through Etheria en route to home to get cold feet now."

As Adam, Cringer, and I approached through the wooded area just beyond the Rebels' field of vision, we never did see who happened to be following us as well...

====================

Finally, Adam and Cringer emerged from the woods first. Even as they emerged, however, a tan, rainbow-winged cross between a koala bear and an owl swooped in and perched himself on Adora's shoulder from behind.

"Look HOOOOOO'S here; HOO-HOO!" Kowl announced, excitedly.

Adora turned, prompting Frosta and Glimmer to do the same.

"Adam!" Adora called. "My brother!"

Spirit, her steed, gave an audible whinny at the sight of the newcomers.

"Friend Cringer too!" he added at such a volume that only Adora and Kowl had heard him speak.

"Ohhhh!" Glimmer gushed at the very sight of Prince Adam again.

Then, as Adora wrapped Adam in her arms, Glimmer knelt down to pet Cringer. Only Frosta seemed to pay me any mind; and I didn't mind the attention from any of them...

"Who is your friend here, Adam?" Frosta asked.

"Oh; of course!" Adam answered, glancing to me. "Ladies, the Storyweaver of Earth! His knowledge of Eternian lore really helped us out against Skeletor's latest scheme."

"Truly?" Mermista asked in accented French. "Do have a seat for a while; and tell us more."

Who was I to turn down the invitation anymore? Silently pleading with myself to not embarrass myself, I sat by the Falls and bid everyone gather around me.

Then, before I could begin my tale, several more shadows fell over us and prompted us to turn around.

"Therrrrrrre they arrrrre!" the vile Catra declared, pointing with a single clawed nail. "Rebels! So many of them packed in one place; and outside of the protection of their prrrecious Whispering Woods!"

"(Slurp-Suck) You mean our Whispering Woods once we've captured these Rebels for Hordak and forced their free friends to surrender their territory!" Leech added.

"Rrright!" Catra answered. "Horde Force Squad, pick your targets, men; prrrroviding that you leave the traitor Adora to me!"

With that, Catra lowered her mask and became her wicked panther form.

"Yelp!" Cringer shouted, scrambling on air until he could manage to scurry away, knocking into Adam at the same time.

"Hey!" Adam protested, tripping and stumbling right into the powerful arms of the evil Grizzlor.

"The Eternian man is mine!" Grizzlor bellowed.

"...and I'll put out Princess Glimmer's light for good!" Leech added as his hands became power draining suction cups.

"Myyyyah; IIII've got my eyyyyyes of Frost-ahhhh!" the grotesque Mantenna added.

"And I have my ice on you, bug-brain!" Frosta added, casually casting me to one side before aiming her hands at the enemy.

Nonetheless, it was too late. Mantenna's beams struck Frosta and caused her to inadvertently freeze the Crystal Falls with Mermista in them. Meanwhile, Glimmer had already collapsed under Leech's power. I had to do something, unhinged a Golden Staff, and struck Grizzlor from behind.

"Why, you little...!" Grizzlor bellowed.

Sure enough, that was enough for him to turn his attention to me; and release Prince Adam.

"Fools!" Catra hissed from her panther form. "Guard these prisoners! I'll take only a few of our Horde Troopers with me to track Adora! The prince can be our messenger boy back to Whispering Woods!"

With that, Catra released a savage roar and four of the multitude of Horde Troopers fell in line behind her while the others joined the Force Squad in securing the Crystal Falls.

As Catra and her troopers wandered off, Adam peeked out from around a corner where he had managed to restrain Cringer.

"Messenger Boy, eh?" he demanded.

"HOO-HOO; our friends appear quite subdued right now!" Kowl added.

"I see them, Kowl." Adora answered. "But...the Storyweaver!"

"He knows, Adora." Adam reassured her.

"Well then, our friends' dilemma is our opportunity to correct it." Adora added as she reached for her Sword of Protection and Spirit neighed in agreement. "Brother?"

"Ladies first, sis." Adam quipped, withdrawing the Power Sword.

"And c-c-cats never again!" Cringer pleaded.

"Perchance after slightly more stable horses then." Spirit conceded.

"Well then...FOR THE HONOR.../BY THE POWER.../...OF GRAYSKULL!...I AM SHEEE-RAAAH!/...IIII HAVE THE POWWWWER!"

The commotion and lights from nearby had my attention; it hadn't yet drawn the attention of the Hordesmen, nor their mechanical back-up troopers. I struggled in Grizzlor's grip for a moment longer, even as I knew what was coming next.

"Excuse me, Fuzzy; but why are we picking on boys today?" He-Man's voice demanded. "Or would a man prove too much for you?"

"He-Man!" Grizzlor bellowed, tossing me aside. "I've waited too long to get my paws back on you, Muscle Man!"

Battle Cat nudged me from my new place on the ground and I got back up as Grizzlor tangled with He-Man in a match of muscles.

"He's going to need our help!" Battle Cat grunted.

"...You said it, 'Cat." I answered, mounting the saddle. "She-Ra can handle the rest of the Horde; we're helping He-..."

"ROWL; but who's going to help you?" Came a sudden voice from a high peak.

I glanced around in time to find Catra and her troopers glaring down at me.

"WHAT a question!" Battle Cat bellowed in response. "Stand back, Storyweaver; this could get bloody!"

Instantly, Battle Cat and Catra lunged simultaneously. As they collided in air, it was Catra's mask that flew askew and reverted her helplessly back to her human form. I judged the throwing trajectory and let fly with one of my Golden Staffs to trip the four troopers over backwards off the peak. There was a satisfying CLANG of steel and sound of dying robotics as they landed and the staff returned to me like a boomerang.

"(HENG) Not...(UNGH!)...bad, Storyweaver!" He-Man grunted in exertion over his power struggle against Grizzlor.

"Hang on, He-man!" I added.

I lunged and shoulder-checked Grizzlor from behind as He-Man was still tangled up with his strength from the front. The surprise maneuver was enough to give He-Man the upperhand back and he pitched Grizzlor in a judo-throw right into many of Hordak's Troopers.

"That makes two that I owe you, kid!" He-Man declared.

"Actually, at last count, the last person that I had saved was Prince Adam." I quipped. "...and I was paying you back."

"Now, you'll bohhhhhhth payyyyy for that!" Mantenna suddenly interjected, firing from his evil eye-beams.

"Not today and not here, Hordesmen!" a voice from above answered.

Instantly, She-Ra and Swift Wind swooped in and effortlessly cleared out the last of the robot troopers to leave only Mantenna and Leech.

"Uh-oh! (Slobber-Slurp)" Leech quivered.

"So sorry for the delay, boys; we had an appointment in Whispering Woods to seek some help out here." She-Ra added as Bow rode in on Arrow and Madame Razz and Broom swooped in. "You Hordesmen did say that you had a message to share with the full Rebellion, didn't you?"

"N-No!" Leech answered.

"Myyyyyah; o-of course not!" Mantenna added.

Suddenly, He-Man and Battle Cat rode up alongside She-Ra and Swift Wind as Bow prepped his Combow and Madame and Broom landed safely.

"Well then..." He-Man added.

"RUN!" Mantenna yelled as he and Leech turned tail.

"Cowards; (HSS!) Bunglers!" Catra screeched.

Instantly, a shadow of red and black fell over the area. He-Man and She-Ra stepped back, aghast. Madame Razz and Broom clung to one another, quivering. I watched, mesmerized, as the crimson and black shade developed a human shape.

"I couldn't agree more, Force Captain!" Shadow Weaver hissed. "Back to the Fright Zone with you; I believe that Commander Hordak would like a word with you and your Force Squad over such an abysmal loss."

Instantly, without warning, Catra and her mask did vanish from the site of the Crystal Falls. She-Ra and the Rebels stood in front of their still-fallen allies. However, the intriguing Horde sorceress's eyes were specifically on me. I knew that Shadow Weaver would never be beautiful; the aura of mystery around her had always intrigued me.

"You, boy; you are new here, yes?" Shadow Weaver asked.

"Yes." I confirmed.

She-Ra withdrew her Sword of Protection and changed it to a shield.

"Shadow Weaver, you wicked witch...!" She-Ra began.

The Horde sorceress, shockingly, seemed to ignore the Princess of Power.

"Let us, you and I, have a little chat." Shadow Weaver added.

Instantly, I was cloaked in a shade of darkness and Shadow Weaver and I were, for all intents and purposes, alone.

Battle Cat unleashed a roar of surprise.

"He's gone!" the mighty cat bellowed.

"But where?" He-Man demanded.

"...and for how long?" Bow asked.

She-Ra finally turned to face her allies.

"I wish that I knew." she answered. "Right now, we can only tend to our healing allies. The Storyweaver...should...be fine..."

No one present had missed the stipulation of the Muscle Maiden's statement.

"Oh; dearie-my!" Madame Razz declared...