Satire
105: Novel, Unidentified Interfibrillar Syncytial Virus — a Case Report
New England Journal of Medicine Case Study CASE: Chief Complaint: Syncytially adhering corpse to male patient. Present Illness: A 54-year-old mortuary assistant, grave-digger by trade, was brought to the Emergency Department by EMS. In otherwise apparent good health, he presented as an agitated man distraught over a corpse tightly adhering to his entire ventral surface--contiguous with his ventral pelvis, abdomen, and chest.
By Gerard DiLeo2 years ago in Fiction
Twisted Tale - Jack and The Beanstalk
Jack had again climbed the beanstalk and talked the Giant’s wife into feeding him. While eating the bread and milk she gave him, he heard the Giant coming and hid. The Giant yelled out “Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman. Be he alive, or be he dead, I’ll grind his bones to make my bread!”
By Andrea Corwin 2 years ago in Fiction
my "near-death experience" at local café. Content Warning.
On March 23rd, I had a "near-death experience" at a coffee shop. Café Grumpy, in Brooklyn, New York, at the corner of Diamond Street and Meserole Avenue -- I was there with my wife and four-year-old son.
By ANTICHRIST SUPERSTAR2 years ago in Fiction
Relative Waste of Time
"Time is relative; its only worth depends upon what we do as it is passing." - Albert Einstein. Every second that passes, is another second that could have been spent doing something worthwhile. Another moment where I could have used this beautiful body and mind of mine to do something that mattered. Instead, I'm sat here, letting the seconds tick by as the clock reminds me of my mortality.
By Paul Stewart2 years ago in Fiction
Fermi Paradox
The rocket arched across the sky. Beyond the horizon’s curve, the railguns of the Athakanizi hummed the death march of the once system-spanning race. Singularity Unit 6X3 stood at its post, watching through electric eyes as the Athakanizi died beneath the shadow of a mushroom cloud.
By Matthew J. Fromm2 years ago in Fiction
Twisted Tale: Hansel & Gretel. Top Story - April 2024. Content Warning.
“Go! Go into the woods and never come back! The Queen would have you killed by someone else, even if I don’t do it!” The Huntsman’s words kept ringing in Snow White’s ears as she ran haphazardly through the woods. Where would she go? Where would she hide? How would she survive? All those thoughts ceased when she spotted a cottage. Relief washed over her. There was something very peculiar about this cottage, though. It was very colourful. As she got closer, she gasped. The cottage was made out of cakes and chocolates! She wanted to break off a piece of the window pane to see if the chocolate was real but decided against it. Instead, she knocked on the door. “Hello, is anyone home? I was wondering, are these real? Would it be okay for me to eat some?” The door slowly swung open to reveal a girl around the age of twelve. “Would you like to eat with us?” “Oh, that sounds absolutely delightful! I hope I’m not imposing. My name is Snow White. What’s yours?” “I’m Gretel and –”, she opened the door wider to reveal a boy, “– that’s my brother, Hansel. Only both of us live here.” “Oh my, you poor little things! Would it be okay if I stayed here and took care of you both? I can clean, I can cook –” Hansel interrupted her, “You don’t have to cook.” He pointed at the kitchen door. “You can go anywhere in this cottage except the kitchen. If you agree to that, you can stay with us.” Snow White found that weird but agreed as she was grateful to have a place to stay. ~~~~~ That night, Snow White heard noises from the kitchen. She thought there were intruders, so she went to check. She tried to open the kitchen door but it was locked. So she peeped through the keyhole and what she saw scarred her for life. Hansel pushed Gretel head first into the oven and lifted up her skirt. He then proceeded to pound her hard from the back. Snow White was horrified but still watched until both Hansel and Gretel reached a Happy Ending. The End. __________________________________________ Author's Notes: This story (366 words) was written for L.C. Schäfer's Fucked Up Fairytales Challenge. It takes place after Gretel pushed the witch into the oven and killed her but instead of returning to their cottage after that, Hansel and Gretel stayed in the witch's cottage. Snow White found this cottage instead of the Seven Dwarf's cottage.
By Dharrsheena Raja Segarran2 years ago in Fiction
The Christmas Party
“Good evening, I'm Muire Geoghan for RTÉ's general election results special coverage, and we can confirm at the current count the next government will most likely be formed by the recently created Christmas Party, led by... Santa Claus. Mr. Claus's birth name was originally David Quigley, but we will be referring to him by his legal name. I apologise for the confusion this may cause, a sentiment shared by our political correspondent, Brian O'Rourke. Brian, for everyone watching at home, can you please explain what just happened?”
By Conor Matthews2 years ago in Fiction
The Enchantment of Fantasy Worlds
Fantasy has long captivated the human imagination, offering a tantalizing escape from the constraints of reality. The allure of stepping into another world, where magic is real and anything is possible, holds an irresistible appeal for many. From ancient myths and legends to modern-day novels and films, the concept of fantasy continues to enthrall audiences of all ages.
By quizat karim2 years ago in Fiction
Serving as Maid of Honor at My Ex's Wedding Reception（Episode One）
On the day I got my driver's license, I encountered a Rolls-Royce wedding car with a familiar license plate. My dad treasures this car a lot; he spent millions on customizing it, so there's no way he'd lend it to anyone.
By Action-packed Story2 years ago in Fiction
