Humor

Bob, the Angry Uncle;
Bob who had a problem, an anger management problem. He would get angry at the slightest things, like when the weather was too hot or too cold, or when his favorite TV show got cancelled. He would yell and throw things, and his family was always afraid of setting him off. One day, Bob's family had had enough of his constant anger and decided to stage an intervention. They sat him down and explained how his anger was affecting them and begged him to seek help.
By Abbas Ali4 years ago in Fiction
The Chronicles of the Dumb Desperados
11/03/2023 2:15pm GMT St Enochs Shopping Centre, Glasgow U.K. “Now, we have the banter and the jokes and catch up out of the way… let’s begin.
By Morgan A-L Sommerville4 years ago in Fiction
The Eventides of Time and Space
Darryl Winkle was about sixty years of age, a little too fat and suffered the occasional migraine headache. He was part-time at several jobs, including short gigs acting, portraying a gorilla and every December, he put on a red suit and portrayed old Santa Claus.
By Bruce Curle `4 years ago in Fiction
Recently Watched
Recently Watched: Seattle Doctors, Season 5, Episode 1 The heart monitor wailed as the woman’s eyes rolled to the back of her head, her insides on her outside and a contingent of scrub-clad bodies pawing through the viscera – and still, Cal knew her suffering was nothing compared to his own.
By Kiera G 4 years ago in Fiction
That Time We Got Locked Out On A Good Ass Night
“Reset Your Password.” The cool, nondescript tones were crisp, clear, and perfect to enunciate those three words. The three words that made absolutely no fucking sense to Ruth. A little stuttered sound actually left her mouth before she regained herself. No big, Ruth assured herself, because she’s still kind of drunk and her fingers probably slipped along the digital keypad.
By Delise Fantome4 years ago in Fiction
Ugliest Baby
Rosemarie and her daughter Mali prepared to get on the bus and return home after a trying day. When she had left her small apartment that morning, Rosemarie was full of hope. She had dressed Mali in the cutest outfit that she had recently bought from a small consignment shop run by the cutest old lady from Colombia. She spoke no English, but she communicated with Rosemarie, who spoke no Spanish, exquisitely. Rosemarie had found two or three outfits in a matter of minutes and paid in cash, rushing home quickly to have Mali model them. She took pictures of her daughter wearing the clothes, posted them on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter asking people which outfit she should put on her daughter for their day running errands and visiting friends. There weren't many responses, on any of the platforms, but there did seem to be a consensus, put baby Mali in the blue and orange jumper over a white onesie. Rosemarie, being attuned to her followers, agreed with the choice.
By D. Sean4 years ago in Fiction
"The Smiths' Hilarious Household Adventures"
Once upon a time, in a cozy little house on the outskirts of town, lived a family of four: Mr. and Mrs. Smith and their two children, Timmy and Sally. The Smiths were a happy family, but they were also a bit clumsy. One day, while Mr. Smith was cooking dinner, he accidentally knocked over a bottle of ketchup, which spilled all over the kitchen floor. "Oh no! My kitchen!" exclaimed Mrs. Smith. "Don't worry, dear," replied Mr. Smith, "I'll clean it up." And with that, he proceeded to mop up the ketchup with his trusty mop. However, in his haste, he failed to notice the cat sleeping on the floor and accidentally moped her too. "Meow!" cried the cat, as she scurried out of the kitchen. The rest of the family couldn't help but burst out laughing. The next day, Timmy and Sally decided to play a game of hide-and-seek in the house. Sally hid in the closet, while Timmy searched high and low for her. As he searched, he accidentally knocked over a vase, shattering it into a million pieces. "Oops," said Timmy, "I'll clean it up." And with that, he proceeded to sweep up the broken pieces with his broom. However, in his haste, he failed to notice the dog sleeping under the table and accidentally swept her up too. "Woof!" cried the dog, as she scampered out of the room. Once again, the rest of the family couldn't help but burst out laughing. The following day, Mr. Smith decided to fix a leaky faucet in the bathroom. As he worked on it, he accidentally turned off the wrong valve and flooded the bathroom with water. "Oh no!" exclaimed Mrs. Smith. "Don't worry, dear," replied Mr. Smith, "I'll fix it." And with that, he proceeded to mop up the water with his trusty mop. However, in his haste, he failed to notice the parrot sitting on the windowsill and accidentally mopped her too. "Polly wants a cracker!" cried the parrot, as she flew out of the window. This time, even the pets couldn't help but burst out laughing. In the end, the Smiths learned to laugh at their mistakes and continue to enjoy their happy and clumsy life together. But the Smith's clumsiness didn't stop there. The next week, Mrs. Smith decided to bake a cake for Timmy's birthday. She carefully measured out the ingredients and mixed them together in a big bowl. But as she was about to put the cake in the oven, she realized she had forgotten to add the sugar. "Oh no!" she exclaimed. "I'll just add it now," she thought to herself. And with that, she proceeded to pour a whole bag of sugar into the bowl. But in her haste, she failed to notice that she was also pouring in a bag of flour she had left open on the counter. When the cake came out of the oven, it was as hard as a rock and tasted like flour. The whole family couldn't help but laugh at the hilarious mistake. From then on, the Smiths made a rule that they would always double-check their ingredients before baking, and they all lived happily ever after, with many more comical moments that kept them always laughing. As the Smiths continued to navigate their daily lives in their cozy little house, they found themselves in one comical situation after another. One day, Mr. Smith decided to repaint the living room. He carefully covered the floors and furniture with drop cloths and began to paint the walls. But in his excitement, he forgot to open the windows for ventilation and soon the entire house was filled with the strong smell of paint. The family had to evacuate the house and spend the night at a hotel. Another day, Sally decided to make a surprise breakfast for the family. She wanted to make pancakes in the shape of a heart. She carefully poured the batter into the pan, but as she was shaping the pancakes, they ended up looking more like a mushy blob. Nevertheless, the family still enjoyed the pancakes, and had a good laugh. The Smiths soon realized that their clumsiness brought them closer together as a family, and they learned to find the humor in even the most trying situations. They continued to live in their cozy little house, where every day was a new adventure filled with laughter and love.
By Krish4 years ago in Fiction
Hank the Rude Frog;
Hank was known throughout the land as the grumpiest, most ill-mannered sheriff you'd ever meet. He would spend his days lounging in his office, scowling at anyone who dared to enter.
By Abbas Ali4 years ago in Fiction
The Rise of the Grump;
Mittens was known throughout the village as the grumpiest, surliest cat you'd ever meet. He would spend his days lounging in the sun, scowling at anyone who dared to pass by.
By Abbas Ali4 years ago in Fiction
Reset frustrations
Once again the app tells me I need to reset my password for security reasons. Dam I hate this task it never goes to plan. I’m stressed just by suggestion. Just do it, it won’t work unless you do I tell myself. Apparently, I can’t do it on the app must be on the webpage. Easier on a computer so I’ll open it up there. Find my laptop under a pillow in my lounge room get the page up then log in. You need to update the password comes up in a rectangle in the middle of the screen. I click ok, wait to load, and click in the box to type. The computer offers a strong passcode thing that can’t be remembered by anyone other than the computer, so not helpful. I write my own it's over 8 characters including numbers and caps on some letters. Won’t accept it and can’t use any part of my real name, tried again. Won’t accept needs special character, won’t accept can’t use something used in last 12 months. Once more and got it accepted so I fill in the copy confirmation password and the copy was wrong. This stupid app won’t let me see what I typed so have to do both again. Frustrated now I go to redo and the computer offers the never remember my code again. NO! You stupid program, f##k off. I put in the one that worked carefully putting in all the characters I want carefully copy and now the prove your human thing which images have bridges pick 3 of 6. I missed one apparently do it again. bicycles this time only 3 in the 6 images. Loads the next screen password charged click the link to log in. Follow the link put in new details and up pops would you like to save the password message from the computer I sigh why not, I'm the only person who touches it. Press login and wrong ahhhh I can’t, I quit, maybe there’s a time to get accepted or some shit like that. I shut the laptop and go make a calming cup of tea then forget for the rest of day. The next day I open the computer and see the page so I try login again using the now saved password it works fine. Open the app and check the saved password when doesn’t offer one not transfer through the cloud just on the computer, great I think angrily with lots of sarcasm. I type in the password I wrote down even though were told not to do that and it is wrong. So I check typing and try again wrong, and one more time again you're incorrect message pops up now I'm locked out. It says to contact the company to change your password. F##king stupid programs and their f##king stupid. Sighing I flip my thinking, Nah it's my f##king stupid mistyping or memory that I’m really irritated at. It's not like a bunch of ones and zeros can do anything their designer didn’t tell them to and the program designers probably weren’t thinking of the layman who can barely use computers when putting in security codes. I call support and it's answered by a recorded bot which after telling me I can do everything on their website the one I just got locked out of. Asks me to press 1 for billing, 2 for sales, or 3 for technical. I guess it's technical so 3 it is and I get put on hold your the 100th person in line we will get to you shortly cue the bad hold music it is not just that it's not my style it is coming through like it's playing from a poor quality speaker held up to the earpiece like we did to show a friend what was on the radio in the 1990s. I put the phone on speaker and away from me on the table 5 minutes late the Music stops to play an ad for their own business and tells me there are 95 people ahead of me I roll my eyes and find a book to read. At least the time reading let the anger fad so that when nearly an hour of bad music, advertisements and bulls##t cue reminders later. The music stops and the phone rings for a second before someone picks up. "Hello, please give me your login email, name and date of birth.” Says someone in a heavy accent, I rattle off those details. They ask what the problem is, so I told them that I’m locked out after changing the password and need you to let me back in they said they’d look into it and asked me to log on to change password link again so I do that put in the new one in a different order with extra character and it worked now try logging in again they said so I do, not working, they click something and tell me to try again. Then it works fine, they ask "anything else you need?" "No thank you" I replied and sat back all fixed. Until I try the website I rush to write the password down correctly before I forget in the book i keep for that stuff and put it away in its cupboard. I don’t care. I use the app more than the website I'll deal with that another day.
By Morgan Walmsley4 years ago in Fiction
New Year, No Identity
Frankie slammed the door so hard behind him he almost thought he broke it, but that would have been the least of his troubles for today. Monique turned around on her barstool, slowly to let what Frankie did really sink in. Frankie remained, breathing heavily, fanned out on the door like a wayward movie starlet from the 1930s. Monique would have expected nothing less.
By Tatiana Farias Gold4 years ago in Fiction
Fowl Escape: A Comical Journey of Two Chicken Thieves
The Great Chicken Heist Jack and Bob were two best friends who had always dreamed of luxury living. They were tired of living paycheck to paycheck and decided to take matters into their own hands. One night, they hatched a plan to steal chickens from a local farm. They knew it would be a risky move, but they were determined to make it happen.
By Liviu Roman4 years ago in Fiction