Sesame 2.0

Ali Baba tied his donkey to a cactus that was slowly dying of thirst by the side of a black rock and climbed up to the huge boulder blocking the entrance to the treasure cave.

- Open, Sesame – Ali Baba huffed, wiping sweat off his foreheat. It was a real scorcher of a day. The boulder sat there, quiet and unmoving.

- Open, Sesame! – repeated Ali Baba, trying to emphasize the S’s. Ever since he lost his upper front teeth during a particularly heated argument with Princess Jasmine, S’s have been a problem.

- Hello, Enter User Name! – said the boulder. - You password has expired. Please reset your password before proceeding.

Ali Baba cursed inwardly. Living with Jasmine made him very good at cursing inwardly. And at complying with unexpected requests.

- Reset the password – he said agreeably.

The boulder considered that for several seconds.

- Please enter username, Enter User Name – it suggested uncertainly.

Ali Baba sighed. Inwardly, of course.

- Ali Baba – he said.

- Hello, Ali Baba – the boulder responded the boulder enthusiastically. - Please enter the email address associated with this account.

- What email address?! – cried Ali Baba. – This is ancient Aravia! Email has not been invented yet!

The boulder somehow managed to look troubled.

- No email? – it asked. – Hmm… how about a mobile phone number?

- You got to be kidding – said Ali Baba – No phones either, not even landline.

- Would you prefer to answer security questions instead? – inquired the boulder.

- Yes, yes, let’s do the questions, and quickly! – responded Ali Baba nervously. He noticed a dust cloud on the horizon that looked like something that, say, about forty camels going at full gallop would produce.

- What was the make and model of your first vehicle? – asked the boulder.

- Vehicle? What vehicle??? Ah, I see. It was a donkey. A stubborn one.

- Great – said the boulder. – In what city did your mother and father meet?

- In Baghdad! There are no other cities around here! There are no other cities at all!

The cloud was definitely getting closer.

- Last question – said the boulder. – What is the name of your favorite pet?

- I only have one, it’s the donkey.

- Sorry, you have already answered “donkey” earlier – regretfully said the boulder. – Repeated responses are not permitted. What is the name of your favorite pet?

- But I don’t have any other pets… - muttered Ali Baba. The cloud was even closer now. One could almost make out sunlight reflecting off wickedly curved swords.

- This could be a problem – said the boulder mournfully. – All three security questions must be answered for the password to be reset.

- But there must be a way! – cried Ali Baba – Are there any other questions?

- I am sorry. There are only three questions. Would you like me to repeat the last question?

- Ah, what’s the use… Actually, I just had an idea. Yes, repeat the last question.

- Last question – said the boulder. – What is the name of your favorite pet?

- None! The name of my favorite pet is None! – responded Ali Baba triumphantly.

- You know what, – said the boulder after a long pause – This is an acceptable answer. Please specify the new password.

- Yeah! Yeah! Yieee-haa! I did it! – cried Ali Baba and tried to dance a little dance, but there was no room and he almost fell down the slope. – Oh shit!

- Password set to yeah!yeah!yieehaa!Ididit!Ohshit! Have a nice day. – said the boulder and softly moved aside, opening the entrance to the cave. Even in the dimming afternoon light the gleaming gold and precious stones were a sight to behold.

And from then on, Ali Baba was known as the clever man who not only had a terrible memory, but also a terrible password. But he didn't mind, for he had his treasure trove and the 40 thieves never bothered him again. He even wrote a book on how to reset passwords and became a renowned hacker in the land of Aravia, and many young men came to learn from him. He lived happily ever after, counting his treasure and sharing his knowledge.