Strong Forces

Now was the time of Orion, the Big Dipper, the Little Dipper – she adjusted the direction and focus of the scope – and there he was! Baidam! Swimming among the stars, a shark in the constellations. Her shark. Her guardian.

This was her favorite time of year for star-gazing, and now she could appreciate it even more through the lens of the new telescope she had saved up for all summer.

She stared up at the dark and twinkling sky, picking out constellations and certain stars now clear as day through this magnificent lens. She returned her focus to her favorite, Baidam.

Just 14 years old, she had been studying astronomy for several years. She knew a great deal about the stars and the Universe, even getting to view it more closely at times, through the scope of one of her teachers at school.

Starting back to school in a couple of weeks, Mr. Smith would no longer be her science teacher, as he taught Junior High science, and not high school courses. She also babysat his young twin girls once a month while he and his wife enjoyed a bit of time out on their own. Those girls adored her! And she enjoyed her time spent with their seven-year-old energy and curiosity! They always enjoyed a frozen pizza for dinner, and ice cream for dessert, playing games and reading stories before the twins went to bed (late of course, that’s part of babysitting fun!)

Tomorrow was Friday. She would be spending it babysitting for the Smith family. She looked forward to it!

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The next evening, she rode her bike the 2 miles from her house on the edge of town, to the Smith’s home, a bit more rural. It was a gorgeous and clear evening. Perfect for enjoying the stars in the darkness that blanketed the Smith’s property more than hers. She could step outside to enjoy the view after the girls were tucked into bed.

“Rachel! Rachel!” It was Denise and Danielle, the twins, squealing and bouncing in excitement at her approach. She laughed and grinned, while offering them each a cookie from the batch she had made last night. They were silenced for about the minute it took them to finish the cookies – just enough time for Rachel to slip by them and through the door, where she could get the evening’s instructions from Mrs. Smith.

“We should be home around 10:30. Is that OK? Then Dave can give you a ride home. The girls should be in bed by 8:00, and here’s a list of where we’ll be. Do you still have our cell phone numbers in your phone in case you need to reach us? Pizza and ice cream are in the freezer.”

“Yes. Right here.” Rachel waved her phone “No problem!” she replied with a smile. It was pretty much the same every time she babysat. She liked the routine and organization Mrs. Smith always prepared and presented with a warm smile.

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After dinner and ice cream, they played a couple of games, then Rachel pulled a book with stories to share from the backpack of fun she always brought babysitting. She wanted to share with them the story of Baidam, showing them the wonderful constellation and star pictures included in the astronomy book. They were enthralled, captivated by the pictures, and fascinated with the story. They wondered if Rachel could show them in the actual night sky? So they went outside to look, where they could easily see the Big Dipper and the North Star. They couldn’t pick out Baidam, though. He’s hard to pick out by the naked eye, especially for beginners. The twins were starting to yawn. It was nearly 9:00 before Rachel got them tucked into bed. Finally, she could spend her own time peering at the stars in solitude.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith made it home about a half hour early. The sky was crisp and clear, so Dave wanted to share the telescope view with Rachel and Julie.

After they spent a good amount of time mesmerized by the stars, Dave drove Rachel home, and turned to head the two miles back. He never made it. The deer jumped out in front of him, he swerved and the car careened into a tree across the road. Dave was killed on impact.

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Julie waited at home for her husband’s quick return. When he wasn’t back as expected, she walked outside through the sliding doors to the backyard, nervously wringing her hands. She called Rachel, who said he had dropped her off and left awhile ago. Julie hung up, now very worried. She heard a knock at the front door. She rushed back inside, knowing that knock couldn’t be bringing good news. The police were at her door, looking grave. She understood immediately. Dave was gone.

After the officers delivered the message and left, Julie curled up on the couch, staring blankly at the TV. This is how the twins found her in the morning upon waking and creeping downstairs to watch cartoons.

“Mommy, wake up! Should we get Daddy out of bed?” For a moment, Julie was puzzled to find herself alone on the couch, then the surreal events of the night before crashed back into her reality. “No Girls. Let Daddy sleep for now.” She got up to get out the cereal and milk for the girl’s usual Saturday morning breakfast. She didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know how to tell the girls. She needed to check the bedroom first, to make sure it wasn’t all just a bad dream. It wasn’t. She checked the clock. Time to call a few people to let them know; specifically his parents and her parents. How? She just did.

After completing the devastating phone calls, she knew it was time to tell the girls. How to say it to them? Would they understand?

Julie composed herself and went back downstairs. Denise and Danielle had finished their cereal and were back in the livingroom, eyes glued to the TV.

“Girls, come over here. Turn the TV off. I want to talk to you.”

“Mommmmmmmmmmmmm! Now? This is our favorite show!” came the nerve-wracking whine in unison.

“Yes, now! This is important.”

They snapped off the TV and stomped over to Julie’s chair.

“I have to tell you something, and it’s going to be hard.”

“Mommy. Your eyes are funny-looking. Why are your eyes funny-looking?”

“Hush now and listen.” She told them a condensed, hopefully less traumatic, version of their Daddy’s death, but she didn’t know how their seven-year-old brains would process the information.

“So when is Daddy coming home?” Danielle asked.

“He won’t be home anymore,” Julie answered. The girls were sobbing now, both snuggled in close, wrapped in Julie’s arms.

She had so much to do now, to organize Dave’s and their lives after his death! But first she needed to see her good friend to find comfort in adult time. She would help Julie contact people, and with the preparations. She called Rachel that afternoon to tell her about Dave, but also to see if she could come by and stay with the girls later that day.

“Of course! Yes! Whatever you need, Mrs. Smith.” She was close to Mr. and Mrs. Smith, as well as the twins, so she was glad to help in any way.

Rachel’s Mom dropped her off since she had left her bike. Denise and Danielle ran to the car to greet her excitedly, but lacking the usual bounciness. She greeted them with a smile, gave them snacks, and went into the house to find Julie. She was on the phone, so Rachel waited politely in the other room until she was done.

She pulled Rachel into a hug after she hung up, which was returned warmly. Julie stood back, saying “Thank you for coming and watching the girls. I told them about what happened, and that their Daddy is not coming back. I hope they are satisfied with that for now, and shouldn’t bombard you with questions. I’m trying to uphold some normalcy for them, so there is pizza in the freezer, ice cream, you have a selection of games and books, bedtime is 8:00. I am going to my friends house for a while in town, but should be home by 9:00.”

“OK, Mrs. Smith. We’ll be fine. Don’t worry about us.”

Julie left. Rachel and the girls played outside until it was time for dinner. They ate their pizza, had their ice cream, then Rachel tried to interest then in playing their favorite board game. She was getting it set up, when Denise said “Mommy said Daddy died and is never coming home. Why? Did she really mean that? Why did she say that? Why did Daddy leave? Were we too loud?” They both started to cry. Rachel wasn’t sure what to do, so she took them both into a tight embrace. She reiterated that it wasn’t their fault! “Your Daddy loves you very much! He would never have left you on purpose!” She felt like this was a good time to repeat the story of Baidam, and what the shark guardian meant. “Let’s look at my astronomy book again.”

“Look, here’s the picture of the constellation.” It was getting pretty dark outside. She could show them Baidam through Dave’s telescope! Rachel led the girls outside. They were apprehensive, as Dave had always told them not to touch – that this telescope was off-limits to them unless he was with them.

Rachel peered into the set-up telescope and brought Baidam into focus, letting the girls each have turns viewing it. Then she began her story. “That’s Baidam. Anytime you have questions, you can turn to Baidam for answers. Ask your questions to the night sky. He is watching over you, and over your Daddy. Baidam will help you find your wisdom, courage and strength, which you and your Mommy are going to need now more than ever. Your Daddy loves you, and he will always be looking after you with the help of Baidam, the shark constellation.”

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Several years later, the twins had become very adept at using their Dad’s telescope to pick out constellation’s, but Baidam would forever be their favorite. They felt his protective presence gently guiding them, like a Father’s strong embrace.