STAY GOLDEN

“From the days of laughter and lustrous curls, we summon the spirits of The Golden Girls. Candy is dandy, liquor is quicker, and your favorite food creates the perfect elixir. We wish we may, we wish we might, we wish to call upon the presence of Bettye White. “

Under the full moon, a coven of senior citizen witches gathered in their quiet and unassuming retirement home known as Harmony Haven. The moonlight streamed through the curtains, casting a soft glow upon the room, as Mildred, Ethel, and Marvin, with their silver hair and twinkling glass eyes, passionately chanted a summoning spell for their quartet of beloved celebrities: The Golden Girls. With each word they felt a warmth and energy enveloping them and felt more alive and connected to the Queens of Saturday night than ever before.

Their intention was to have Bea Arthur, Rue McClanahan, Estelle Getty, and Bettye White join them for a night of laughter, stories and of course magic. They completed the ritual by drinking from an ancient chalice and lighting candles. As the incantation reached its climax, a burst of golden light filled the room, and the coven watched in amazement as figures materialized.

First came Blanche, then Dorothy and Sophia. Suddenly there was a loud bang and through a mist of green smoke, appeared a tall, dark charismatic man with a smooth voice. It was none other than Barry White, the legendary soul singer. Barry, with his deep baritone voice and dazzling white suit, looked around the room in amusement at three Golden Girls and two of the three witches, all exchanging puzzled glances.

“Looks like one of you dinosaurs called upon the wrong spirits.” He jokingly said.

“Impossible! We specifically chose vodka, red licorice, and hot dogs for the spell because they are Bettye’s favorites.” Protested Mildred.

“Marvin, go and fetch the bag of ingredients and show him.” Chimed Ethel.

She looked to Marvin for some form of confirmation. Marvin just stood there in awe of his childhood idol, completely frozen. No longer able to contain her frustration, Mildred grabbed the bag of ingredients and to her complete and utter shock, she pulled out an empty bottle of Bombay Sapphire Gin and a wrapper of THC infused Twizzlers. Instantaneously, she whipped her head around like Linda Blair’s in the Exorcist and lunged right at Marvin’s throat. He defended himself with the only weapon he had, his dentures. He took them out and slung them right at her face, shattering her glass eye.

The gesture was met with a combination of infectious cackling from the Golden Girls and a deep belly chuckle from Barry, causing the witches to also join in the hilarity. Often the coven’s intricate ceremonies were filled with array of seriousness and comedic relief. Their disappointment about the mix-up quickly faded for they had been friends for decades and always known to embrace the moment.

Ever the quick thinker, Ethyl spoke up, “Well, Barry, if you are here, we might as well enjoy the night. Can you sing us a song?”

With a charming smile, Barry White agreed. He dedicated the first song to Blanche and began to sing “Can’t Get Enough of Your Love.”

For the next hour, they all danced, laughed, and sang along with Barry White, who turned out to be an excellent entertainer. As the night waned, he and the Golden Girls bid them a farewell, and with a flourish, they disappeared into the moonlight, leaving the coven of senior witches with memories they would cherish forever. Or at least a couple more years until they are all reunited again in the afterlife.

Though Mildred, Ethyl and Marvin didn’t get to meet the beloved Bettye White, their unexpected encounter with Barry had turned into a magical and unforgettable night. The positivity, laughter and camaraderie that had been Bettye’s trademark had manifested itself, proving that sometimes, even the most unforeseen mishaps can bring joy into the lives of those who believe in magic and remember to always STAY GOLDEN.