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Sneezart

Verb: To suddenly expel air from the mouth, nose and anus at the same time. Noun: The act or sound of sneezing and accidentally farting at the same time.

By Donna Fox (HKB)Published 6 months ago 1 min read
15
Sneezart
Photo by Geometric Photography on Unsplash

“Ah-chooo” I sneezed followed by Brrruuuppahssshhhh, which created a deafening silence throughout the office.

I hoped no one heard it or at least no one would acknowledge it.

“That sounded wet,” Bob mumbled from a few desks away.

Which was followed by stifled snickers from everyone in earshot.

I rose from my chair and ran to the bathroom in shame.

“I guess it was.” Bob chuckled before everyone erupted into laughter.

I closed the bathroom door behind myself with a sigh, locked it and sank to the floor. I held my face in my hands, the heat of embarrassment upon my cheeks.

I wished I hadn’t started this feud with Bob a week ago when I typed a new title for his nameplate.

Now every mistake I made was the butt end of a bad joke, but this would take the cake.

Until a few minutes ago his only ammunition was a few spelling mistakes and tongue-tied moments, nothing of real substance.

It took me a few moments to recompose myself before I could go back out there to face Bob and everyone. When I did, I found my nameplate had been changed with a piece of paper. It now read:

Janice Beauregard

Head of the Sneezart Comity

I ripped the paper off my nameplate and walked over to Bob’s desk, tossed it on his lap.

“I believe it’s called a snart. If you're going to insult me. Do it Right." I stated with a smirk, before heading back to my desk.

Short StoryMicrofictionHumorExcerpt
15

About the Creator

Donna Fox (HKB)

Thank you for stopping by!! 💚💙💜🩵

If you are interested in longer works by me, I have two books published on Amazon.

Jogger's Trail and Fox in The Hole.

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Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

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Comments (16)

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  • Lamar Wiggins5 months ago

    There's always one guy like Bob everywhere. Of course, he had to be there at that very moment. Sneezarting has happened to all of us, whether we admit it or not. The sudden pressure from sneezing and it just happens...😅 Loved this one!

  • Donna Renee5 months ago

    don't get me snarted! 😂😂 Oh Bob. what a guy. I hope Janice snarted on his chair.

  • Mariann Carroll5 months ago

    This was very funny. Why is an embarrassment have to comical? If this happen to someone I like , I would not do what Bob did. I like your make up word.

  • Haha too funny. The embarrassment of it all I would just want to sink right into the floor and disappear

  • ThatWriterWoman5 months ago

    Ooooh a follow-up! I love it! The office feud continues!

  • Atlantica6 months ago

    great 👍

  • Mark Gagnon6 months ago

    And the word of the day is Snart! Great comeback and funny story 😂!

  • Girl, how did you even manage to keep this surprise a secret from me? It's like a surprise birthday party! At first I didn't realise who Bob was. In my defense, it's a pretty common name, unlike Tesha or Helmar. But I digress. I only realised who Bob was when you mentioned nameplate! And that was then a chorus of "SURPRISE!!" went off in my head and I realised that you've actually wrote a sequel for Bob the leedle-laudler! You brilliant woman! Lol, I agree with Janice. It's supposed to be snart, not sneezart. Bob's got no game 🤣🤣🤣 I love how Janice still won this one!

  • Caroline Craven6 months ago

    Ha! Good one!

  • Grz Colm6 months ago

    So much trauma in so few words!! Lol. Oh boy!! 🤣🤣 Nice one Donna!!! ☺️👍👏

  • Hannah Moore6 months ago

    Brilliant one.

  • Cathy holmes6 months ago

    Haha. This is great.

  • Alexander McEvoy6 months ago

    Loving this office feud you’re setting up! Nothing at all like this happens in my offices but I have a friend who tells me all the drama from her department. This was really funny and I loved her retort to buddy guy at the end there :)

  • JBaz6 months ago

    Funny…but sad … but funny. Not sure if this was intentional, I liked the pun you snuck in. ‘I made was the butt end of a bad joke, ‘

  • Gerald Holmes6 months ago

    Lol!!!! Now, that's funny. Loved the word. Great entry.

  • Mohammed Darasi6 months ago

    😂😂 funny office feud but she took it like a champ at the end

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