Slow Shaking Fingertips

*Disclaimer: This story is a piece of Harry Potter fanfiction, which is owned by J.K. Rowling and her associates. This story is simply based on the wonderful wizarding world that she created.

Plop. Plop. Plop. Plop. Cool rain trickled down the open brick spaces in the walls from the darkened skies above, not bothering me in the slightest of ways. The normal sound of annoyance that it brought to my ears was not present at this late hour. The loud noises were merely a background instrument; playing for reasons completely unknown to me. My thoughts were focused more on what was happening on the grounds- no matter how utterly cruel they were- rather than on the gloomy clouds above.

I could barely feel the ever few droplets of water that bounced gracefully off of the rough brick squares and onto my solemn expression. The unnatural feeling of nothing filled the place of freezing chills that ran down my undefined cheekbones. I was just too numb. Feeling nothing on the outside but everything deep within.

All of my soft edges seemed to be burning constantly, only with a cold, numbing pain, rather than a scorching warmth. I suddenly realized that I was shaking uncontrollably. My fingernails clattered without rhythm against the hard, rocky brick, making an unnatural sound that now drowned out the pelting rain. My flat stomach touched the chalky, solid wall several times harder that normal- almost as though it was being pushed roughly against it by some unknown pair of hands. I was going insane, I was sure of it. Only, I did not realize why this would be happening.

I could not feel the many tears that fell down my rosy cheeks; the tears that I presumed to be warm. But I still could not feel anything due to my strange numbness. My thoughts seemed to be keeping my mind occupied, only for more reasons than I would wish for ever in my life.

I remember the many, almost murderous screams that took up several moments of the night’s man event. The event that caused so many innocent deaths to count. But out of all of the frightful screams, mine stood out the most- most likely in the memories of everyone else as well. Not only because it was by no doubt the loudest and the first to occur, but also because it was purely out of grief. Other’s screams may have been as well, but nothing amounted to the sadness that was heard in mine.

Blaise’s life had been filled with only a few happy and loving moments; that I knew for sure. But I had only known him for ten months, and parts of his tragic childhood were still a blur to me. Of course he had told me everything that he felt was appropriate about his different childhood. He always seemed discreet about it, and I could only begin to imagine why. The horrors that he went through were not normal for anyone, and so he left most of it out.

I still remember the very first time that he held my pale hand in his large, dark one, and the warmth that it palpitated through every single part of my body. The warmth that was long absent from my trembling body at this moment in time. I doubt that I will ever exactly realize how much I missed that very feeling.

I could not believe the way that he would walk me around, showing me off to everyone that he came across. I was not really much to be proud of, but to him I seemed to mean everything. He was deeply in love with me, and I was the same.

Bur our soft kisses will be the one thing that will forever exist on my soft lips. The way that our innocent desire pulled our mouths together into a few passionate moments of solace was irreplaceable. His strong, perfectly muscled arms would sweep me up so that I was pressed comfortably and welcomed to his toned chest. I knew positively that he would not drop me, but never less, my bony arms linked unbreakably around his broad shoulders. It was all too perfect.

Throughout the year, the two of us were honestly inseparable. We would spend hours after classes in one another’s arms, only breaking apart reluctantly when it was five minutes before our curfew was to end. But that little time apart was enough to make us want to spend even more time together. I would miss him terribly in that short period. Foolish girl I was. Now I did not know what was to become of me since he was really gone.

Ginny and the others had eventually warmed up to him toward the very end. They were all starting to get over the huge ordeal about house rivalry and no longer thought of him as just a Slytherin. He did not care if he was making a fool of himself. He was hopelessly in love. He really was perfect in my mind.

The rain beat down harder from the above clouds that were invisible in the darkness, but I was still much too numb to feel its freezing innocence. I had not moved from my planted location for many hours.

“Do not be frightened. I am alright, my love,” Blaise whispered hotly in my right ear, his perfect voice causing my numbness to instantly disappear. His pleasant cheek rested lovingly against my freezing one. The act seemed so familiar. He laid his large right palm over my soft one, stopping without effort my slow shaking fingertips.

I couldn't tell if it was real or simply a figment of the grief I was enduring.