Show don’t tell

I’m writting this guide cause I’ve notice a lot of people in the doomsday diary are falling into the pitfalls of show not tell. Now I’m no expert writer. My brain still can’t comprehend ‘and’. Im baffled by the coma. Where do you put it? But there is one golden rule I was taught. Show dont tell.

We will go with an absurd premise as an example

In 2075 there was nuclear war between usa and russia. In the aftermath the turnips were brought to life by nuclear fallout and mutated with laser eyes.

Writers do this to dump information on the reader, to get them caught up. This is wrong for two reasons. One, your rushing your reader into the story instead of easing them into it. Two, your depriving your story of a good mystery. Let your reader piece together what happened. To this point you depriving your work of it best moments. To start, break your premise into sections. We will start with your first one, nuclear war. Dont tell your reader there has been a nuclear war. Instead show the protagonist equipping a gigger counter. This creates a mystery. Why does he need it? Is he going sone place that is radioactive or did something happen? Your audience now wants to know why he needs it.

Then next part is the war between Usa and Russia. Never explicitly say this. There are lots of ways to show this. Did one of the protagonist parent live through it? Military check points, tanks lines up in the street, abandoned recruitment stations.

The next part is pretty simple. Any basic action scene will convey that plants vs zombies might be in the immediate future. But other examples might be rumors around the water cooler. Supporting character is telling conspiracies to the protagonist. But don’t forget that information is coming from unreliable source. Information is lost over time or becomes distorted.

Lastly avoid revealing information in non organic means. So someone reading or conversation are a good way introducing characters. In real life you don’t telepathically learn people names. If your acomping your protagonist your going to learn like a normal person.

Now in practice.

He awoke in immense pain. Blood had pooled in guns and he spits it on the floor.

“John Maverick,” someone shouts over din of the ambient noise from the work lodge. He turns to the sound of his name being called. John didn’t need to speak with the man, his purpose is clear. He grabs the gigger counter tucked away neatly by his bed and clips it to his belt. The bunkhouse’s workers are mostly seated playing cards and drinking their pay away. This distraction allows a swift and unnoticed departure.

His boots echo loudly in the empty city street. Long since abandoned tank line the street like silent sentinels. Faded propganda poster blow in the wind and crinkle under foot. He passes a military checkpoint almost unchanged like a photograph. Anti-communist poster hang on the booth propt up by the side of the road. In the distant he sees some familiar plant life. His father had turn these plants into the boogeyman. If you see these plants the tell tale squish is coming next. A sound he dreads from past experiences.

You learn his name the same way anyone would listening in the bunkhouse. You learn there is radiation through blood pooling in the gums and his gigger counter. War is explained by propgand purpose and tanks on the city streets. The plants are explained upon meeting them. Now the reader knows everything necessary to understand this universe. Yet mystery remain. What caused the war? The gigger counter has not been fully utilized. Will the protagonist survive the radiation. He is clearly sick. What ultimately causes the mutation? Since nothing is concrete, the reader’s imagination still has something to work with.