Running With Wolves

“You are an angel!” I exclaimed. A religious fervour swelled in my chest. There was something out there greater than us. I laughed, but this time I was laughing for joy. If there was a God, then there was hope.

“There is always hope,” Zay assured me.

I bowed my head to him. “Thank you.”

Zay gave me a regel nod in return.

“So, where are we now?” Feeling more rested than I had felt for days, I got to my feet to take in my surroundings. “No way!” I gaped.

Here and there, I could see signs of civilisation. Peeking up through the snow were road signs, only buried to half their height, informing me I was four-hundred and thirty miles out from Timmins. Apparently, we had crossed the Ottowa River, as Zay had promised, and made it back to the Trans-Canada Highway. I felt both relief and remorse; relief at seeing that the ice had not yet taken over completely, and remorse because I felt we were moving further away from Rowen.

“She comes.”

Startled, I scrutinized Zay while trying to comprehend what he meant. Rowen was coming?

“Indeed. She comes with Heaven’s Hosts, my brothers, and with my brothers of this Earth. She comes as sister and daughter, as a child of the Most High.”

I stared in wonder at the image that was pushed into my mind. I saw Rowen, surrounded by a pack of wolves. She was a picture of serenity as she smiled at me and beckoned me with her hand. Of its own accord, my hand reached out towards her. Then, the image vanished, though its meaning remained. Rowen was being protected by wolves, just as I was and they were leading her to safety, to wherever it was Zay was taking me. Another familiar image took over my sight; that of the log cabin Zay had shown me all those days ago. Clearly, Rowen and I were to be reunited there.

“Be warned, Reuben. Rowen is not as she once was. She is protected as far as she will allow. You must restore her to herself for she is lost within. She needs you.”

“What?” That didn’t make sense.

“Come. We follow this path.”

I sighed. Zay was being vague as always. “How much further to go?”

“Twelve more suns.”

Twelve more days, I interpreted, considering Zay’s words. So, Rowen wasn’t herself? Honestly, neither was I. How could I be after all that had happened? I felt like a ghost of my former self and knew I’d never be that person again. It bothered me, to an extent, and hoped it would not bother Rowen. I didn’t care what Rowen had become. She was my sister, my twin. I would love her no matter what.

We followed the road, various portions of landscape revealing themselves further along the way. It was incredible. Something incredible was happening on the inside too. My relationship with God was blossoming into vibrancy, like flowers at the start of spring. I spent a great deal of time praying and had read through several books of the Bible. They provided great comfort and encouragement. I could feel God’s presence, the power of His glory, pouring forth from the pages. It felt like I had been walking forever. In fact, sometimes, I found it difficult to remember my life as it was before, like I had detached myself from it. Maybe it was because those memories hurt too much, and I had enough to deal with without adding that pain on top of it all. Hence, I kept my thoughts tuned to God, surviving, and finding Rowen. They were the three most important things right now. Eventually, we came into Timmins and Zay turned off in the direction of Horwood Lake Lodge, a popular holiday destination; and that’s where I am now, waiting for Rowen to arrive.

************

There’s no one else here at the Lodge. I should have expected as much but I’d still hoped. Snow blankets the landscape here as well and the lake is frozen, but it’s nowhere near as bad as it was on the other side of Ottowa River. Here, snow is piled up the sides of the cabins, but it does not bury them. Nor does it bury the trees, only their bases. I don’t know if the ice age is still on the rampage, whether it will spread this far, so for now I’ll settle in and make myself comfortable, see how things go. Sleeping in a real bed after so long is pure bliss, and I can even melt down enough snow to heat over a fire and use for washing. The hot water cascading over my skin is heavenly. There were bits and pieces of food that I scrounged up as well, and I’ve organised them into rations, though soon I plan on making a trip to Timmins Square, maybe Foyelet too. Might find some people still floating around. I don’t even know if I remember how to socialise anymore. Sure, I’ve had Zay, but talking with a wolf who is really an angel is vastly different than talking with a human. Angels can’t relate to human suffering or pain. They’re immortal. The entire universe is open to them.

The day we arrived, I fell onto one of the beds and the minute my head hit the pillow, I was asleep. I slept for the entire day. When I woke up, I stumbled to the bathroom and saw my reflection for the first time in weeks. A healthy beard covered the lower half of my face and my skin was so pale. Blue-black circles drooped below my eyes like bruises, despite having slept for approximately twelve hours. Those eyes were duller than usual, too, the green appearing faded and washed out. Deep hollows sunk my cheeks and the clothes I was wearing hung off my body like kitchen drapes. I hadn’t even realised I’d lost so much weight. My blond hair was wild and bushy, a bird’s nest atop my head. I was almost unrecognizable. This won’t do, I thought. I couldn’t let Rowen see me like this. I looked like a junkie! Searching through the office, I found a pair of scissors and went to work trimming my hair and beard. Once I’d done that, I was able to use my knife to carefully shave off the rest of the beard.

“There, that looks better,” I stated, satisfied with my efforts.

Day four of my stay at Horwood Lake Lodge was when it happened. I was sitting by the fire in the room I had claimed, eating dry cereal straight from the box, when Zay suddenly jumped to his feet.

“What is it?” I asked, instantly worried.

“She is here.”

“Rowen?”

Could it really be? My heartrate skyrocketed in anticipation and I jumped as a mighty howl shattered the stillness. The box of cereal flew from my hand, raisins and flakes spilling over the floor, crunching under my feet as I ran towards the door. Remembering Zay’s warning that Rowen was not herself, I inwardly bracing myself for what I would find. Dashing down the cabin’s front steps, I tripped, landing unceremoniously face down into the snow. Picking myself up, I eagerly scanned the area, trying to peer through the wintery mist that was creeping over the ground. There was no one there; not Rowen or any wolves either. Frowning, I did a lap of the Lodge and still found nothing.

Zay drew up beside me. “She hides in the shadows.”

“She doesn’t have to hide,” I protested. Then, I noticed movement in the trees. In the growing dusk, I couldn’t make out what was concealed in the leafy foliage. “Rowen?” I called softly. “It’s me, Reuben.”

The ground rustled as something moved closer. I waited with baited breath until a russet-coloured wolf with black markings stepped into the fading light. It studied me with a knowing gaze. Was this a normal wolf or another angel in wolf’s clothing?

“Hello,” I ventured, crouching down to its level.

It approached boldly, head held high in fearless righteousness. “Greetings, Reuben, brother of Rowen, and to you, Zayrand, my brother in Christ.”

Zay bowed his head in formal greeting. “Greetings, brother Sariel. It has been many suns.”

The two wolves touched foreheads together fondly before Sariel gave his attention back to me. “Rowen fears you will not know her. You may not. She is much changed.”

“I don’t care. I need to see her.”

“Very well.”

Sariel turned back towards the trees and after a few moments, two more wolves appeared. I could identify the difference instantly. These wolves had the air of the wild about them, a savageness that Zay and Sariel lacked. And then all I could do was gasp because, there she was, crawling out from the tree line. The two wolves positioned themselves on either side of her, like a personal guard. My heart nearly tore through my chest as I stared in shock at my sister. Sticks and leaves were stuck in her matted hair and her clothes were torn in several places. Surprisingly, she did not appear unwell, a rosiness to her cheeks that said she was well fed. But her eyes… her eyes were the eyes of a wolf. They were still the same forest green they had always been, only now there was a fierceness in them, a primal hue such as one would see in a predatory beast. She was crouched on all fours, tensed and ready to run at the slightest danger.

“Rowen?” I took a tentative step closer.

She took a step back and the wolves flanking her growled at me. Her eyes darted about as though searching for threats.

“It’s alright,” I said gently. “Do you recognise me?” I held my hand out to her, trying to coax her towards me.

It must have startled her. She swung her body around and took off on all fours back into the trees, her wolf guards close on her tail.

I blinked several times. What just happened? Did she not recognise me? Did she think she was a wolf now? I wanted to cry. All this time I had been searching for her, longing for the day of our joyous reunion only to be met with this.

“Zay?” My voice shook. “What’s wrong with Rowen?”

“She is lost. You must find her.”

“How? She didn’t even speak to me! She wouldn’t even come close to me!” Anger and frustration tainted my words.

“Patience.”

“Zay,” I begged. “I just want my sister back.”

“She will come. Be patient.”

I threw my hands up in the air and stormed back into the cabin. For hours, I sat musing in front of the fire, the scattered cereal still littering the wooden floor. Rowen must be suffering from trauma, I decided. Perhaps she was in shock and survival instincts had taken over in the form of a wolf. Whatever it was, it seemed her affinity with wolves is what saved her life.

The next day, I left some food outside then watched from the window to see if Rowen would come. She did. Quick as a flash, she came speeding out from the trees, grabbed the food with her mouth and sprinted back. Sighing, I closed the curtains. This was going to be a long endeavour. At least she is here, I thought. It was a small comfort.

************

It’s been several days now since Rowen’s arrival. Thankfully, weather conditions have not worsened and I’m making headway. It’s slow progress but it’s a positive sign, proving that Rowen is not completely gone. The food helps and for a while, I took to walking outside on all fours to greet her, mimicking her actions. At first, she merely watched me with timid curiosity then, cautiously, she crept up to me and bumped her head against mine. Now, she approaches me eagerly when she sees me, bounding up to me, standing on two legs to throw her arms around me, and she has walked on two legs ever since. She’s yet to speak, at least verbally anyway. I’m wondering if she remembers how. The only sounds she makes are growls, whines and yaps. So, I talk to her. I talk to her about all the things we used to do together. I tell her about her life and how much she means to me. I even talk to her about God. I’m not sure how much she understands. She sits at my feet, staring at me wide-eyed, so I think there is minimal understanding. Further confirmation is the fact that she still communicates with me telepathically, albeit with simple words and images, but it’s something. All I know is, it’s important that I keep talking to her as I normally would. She still calls me brother, too. It gives me goose bumps every time of both happiness and sorrow. I’ve also gained the trust of the other wolves and I believe that furthered Rowen’s trust in me as well. We’ve ventured into the woods together, hunting, playing games of chase. Always the wolves run with us. They are part of the family now.

I am not fooling myself into hoping that Rowen will completely regain her sanity, but she is showing signs of regaining her humanity. I must satisfy myself with that for the time being, but I will not give up. I will never leave her side again. No matter what. She’s my twin, my other half – maybe the only person I have left in this world, and as her brother, I will save her. I will bring my sister back. I swear it.

The End