Privateeyeism
Privateeyeism: The belief that the toughest cases can only be solved by a combination of gritty street knowledge and dangerous-approaching-lethal levels of substance abuse
On my third cigar of the morning, the job came in. This city moved in strange ways.
But I knew how to swim these currents as I bid goodbye to my friends Jack and Daniels.
A missing cat. I needed to find Felix fast before he disappeared into the hidden room at the back of the Petco forever.
I looked down at the picture ripped from the streetlight. Orange stripey boy. The gleam of hope still flickering in his eyes.
God willing, I might reach him before it died permanently.
Turning down an alley, I heard trashcans rattle. Ahead, pronounced cheekbones and the left set of whiskers shorter than the right.
The color seemed a bit off, but it had been five minutes since my last cigarette.
Felix seemed to recognize his savior, settling into my arms and purring away beneath oil-stained fur.
Only then did I realize I had violated my code: I had let the job become personal. I didn’t care how many greenbacks I was turning my back on. This cat wasn’t going back to those irresponsible pricks.
Now Felix is the mascot of John Cliché Private Investigations. His owners claim they found him. Only he and I know that other feline is an impostor, and neither of us is clamoring to set the record straight.
“Dumb bastards,” I remark as I scratch Felix’s chin. The oil still hasn’t come out. Ah well.
Just one more time privateeyeism held the chaos simmering beneath the concrete at bay.
About the Creator
Stephen A. Roddewig
I am an award-winning author from Arlington, Virginia. Started with short stories, moved to novels.
...and on that note: A Bloody Business is now live! More details.
Proud member of the Horror Writers Association 🐦⬛
Comments (5)
Delightfully catty.
This was so funny, I can’t believe I missed it before. If this doesn’t place I’m going to riot.
Lol. Someone sure does smoke a lot…Hilarious entry, my friend. The purrfect vignette to go along with your word.
This is so well executed, hilarious and brilliant.
This is so fun! Perfect noir narrator, too. Such a great read, Stephen, and a fantastic word and story.