Partridge in a Pear Tree

Love is overrated. At least the kind of love you see in movies, she thought. No, that didn’t sound right. Freya looked up at the stars, “Ugh! I’m not sure I can write about love. Have I ever really been in love?” She had a writing assignment due for the magazine and it was all about love. There was a new line of perfume her company had acquired a contract with, and the client wanted a story to go along with the release to promote the product. All about love was the theme. She didn’t mean to sign up or bid for the writing position, but she wanted to expand her writing skills. And as far back as she could remember, she stayed away from writing about love. She didn’t even mean to raise her hand saying she would take the assignment; she was sort of pushed by her friend Emily. Emily was always talking about love. In fact, Freya often wondered how Emily could literally fall in love with every person she went out with. She was in love with love. Freya knew that Emily only pushed her into taking the assignment to get her to open herself up and have new experiences and in her words, “Be open to love.”

Freya sat in her apartment overlooking the San Francisco Bay and tried to imagine her parents love story. It had been years since her parents had gotten divorced and it was a topic that Freya did not want to re-visit. The only true love story she had ever believe was broken. For as long as she could remember, love was all around her home. As a child, Freya knew her parents were completely enthralled in each other’s company. They were always hugging and laughing. Her dad would bring flowers nearly every week. “Just because your beautiful!” he’d say. “Just because you make me laugh,” he’d smile and hug her mom. They had the perfect love story. Freya’s mom was engaged to another man when her dad met her. They ran into each other in the emergency room, after Freya’s mom fell off a trolley on the way to work. “I’m ashamed to admit I wasn’t paying attention,” she told him. “I was staring at the handsome young man standing a few feet away.” She laughed as she winked at the stranger. “Me?” Freya’s dad asked. “Wow, I’ve never had someone fall head over heals for me before.” Since that day, they were inseparable. Six months later they were married and a year after they had Freya and her twin sister, Astrid. Freya’s mom was a fanatic about Christmas and usually went all out. She decorated the house beautifully and any time she ever felt sad, in any circumstance, she would play 12 days of Christmas. Freya realized that was her favorite Christmas song, because it reminded her of her mom and dads love story. Freya’s dad knew how much Christmas meant to her mom and every year he would buy her a partridge in a pear tree. He never bought her the other gifts from the song, he felt that was enough, and for her mom, it was everything. Growing up in Portland, Freya often wondered about the pear tree in the back yard and how her mom could love pears so much, even now. Only after hearing the story could she imagine that it held a specific meaning for her mom. “Mom do you still have the pear tree?” she asked over the phone. “Well, yes honey, I do, why?” Well, I guess I never realized what that tree meant to you before. Why did you keep it, after you and dad got divorced?” She felt intrusive asking her mom to relive the experiences of a broken marriage. Nevertheless, she wanted to know, but never had the courage to ask. “The pear tree is my favorite thing about this house,” her mom said with a tone of sadness. “I’m so sorry mom, I didn’t mean to make you upset. I know dad always gave you a pear tree for Christmas and I thought-- oh I don’t know what I thought. I’m sorry.” Freya’s mom Evelyn explained that though her father and her had decided to separate, it didn’t diminish the love they had for each other, in any way. “Love doesn’t mean you will be with that person forever. For all lifetimes. People change, and sometimes they feel differently. I never regretted the life I had with your father. We loved each other fully, with no expectations and we never held back. That’s what love is all about.” She went on to explain that the idea that each person has about love, isn’t the same for everyone. Evelyn basically confirmed Freya’s worst nightmare. If you love someone fully, and let yourself be loved, there is no guarantee. “Sweetheart, there is never a guarantee in life no matter what, but love is part of it. The point is to live in the moment. Falling in love with your father and building a life was a choice we made. We were always honest with each other but sometimes people come into your life for a reason. We went through so much together and we learned and lived through all of it, with love. Once you put expectations on something like love, it takes a turn. The key is to live each day with love in your heart. Learning to love yourself is where you will find someone else that matches that.”

Freya felt a slight betrayal. But how could she not have realized that though they were now divorced, they still cherished the love that they once had. Her parents still had a good relationship, but a different kind of love. She didn’t notice that she built a wall around her heart causing her to put expectations on herself. She had been so afraid of loving someone else that she forgot about her first love, herself. She now could see that love was indeed like the spray of perfume, a moment of bliss and comfort only she could give herself. Anyone in her life was extra special, and like her mom, she would need to embrace each moment of loving someone.

“How could I have wasted all this time, thinking a specific kind of person was needed in my life so I’d be happy. I am that person,” she said to her friend Emily. “Did you know this?” she asked dumbfounded. “Awww Freya, of course. I love everyone because everyone has something different about them that brings out my love. It isn’t about how long I think it will last, or if I should make plans now for a year from now. I take it as it comes because putting expectations on love can be counterproductive. You don’t get to enjoy the moments. If one of us in a relationship no longer feels a certain way, then that’s ok, and there will be someone that fits that feeling. Of course, we want to be in that forever, but no one really knows what forever means. Life is short. Do what you love, feel everything and you will find someone that matches that.”

Love is all around us. Close your eyes and take it all in, every moment, every day, Love starts with treating ourselves to the possibilities and potentials…“Does that sound like the beginning of a perfume blurb to you?” she asked Emily. “It’s a perfect start.”